What lessons have you learned from previous relationships?

[shelters]

To piggyback off of the thread, Latest thing you have learned about yourself in the Self-Improvement section, I was wondering what all of you have learned from previous relationships? How will you be different in the next one? What sort of lessons have you learned that you will now carry with you?

 

For those who are in a relationship now, what are you doing differently compared to your past behavior and what are the results?

 

I learn so much from reading all the varying perspectives on this board so thanks in advance to those who respond!

[littlekitty]

I learned that communication is key.

That respect for one other is important.

I learned that to be similar in morals, background, desires and hopes for the children, like minded etc. are important.

I learned to live my life in a manner that were my SO ever a fly on the wall they would never see anything to pain them.

[Pyro]

To piggyback off of the thread, Latest thing you have learned about yourself in the Self-Improvement section, I was wondering what all of you have learned from previous relationships? How will you be different in the next one? What sort of lessons have you learned that you will now carry with you?

 

For those who are in a relationship now, what are you doing differently compared to your past behavior and what are the results?

 

I learn so much from reading all the varying perspectives on this board so thanks in advance to those who respond!

 

I have learned many lessons. I have learned that it is not the end of the world when a relationship ends. Life will go on. I have also learned that you can't force someone to act in a certain way. I also learned that you should not be dependent on relationships. Enjoy being single and when the right one comes along, they will. I also learned that a relationship is a shared effort and that one will not last unless both parties participate fully. I also learned where the line is and that it should never be crossed in terms of how you talk to and treat your S.O.

[JadeStar]

I have learned you can't change others, but you can change yourself. I have leraned to have a little more patience with things and people. I have learned to listen to others better, and really try to hear what they are saying. I have learned to back off from situations I feel are not healthy, or might could bring me down. I have learned communication is the key to most all things. I have learned to fight fair.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[kitten chick]

I learned a lot of stuff.

 

Never date anyone better looking than me.

Never date anyone as good looking as me.

Never date anyone whose dad has serious issues.

Never enable anyone to take your life from you.

Something I always knew but temporarily forgot, don't take s*** from anyone.

The amount of time you wait for sex has little bearing on whether they're using you or not.

 

 

And most importantly, from my past relationships I learned never to trust anyone again. Thanks guys.

[Pyro]

Never date anyone better looking than me.

Never date anyone as good looking as me.

 

If these pertained to me, I would never be in a relationship ever.

[catgirl1927]

I learned that the most important thing is to be able to be proud of yourself. And someone else can only make you feel bad about yourself or feel worthless if you let them.

[shelters]

I have learned to fight fair.

Jade

 

 

That's such a biggie!!! I'm a work-in-progress on that one. I'll get there.

[hotgurl]

I have learned a lot.

 

Never let anyone tell you what you are or aren't.

Never let anyone put you down.

never date anyone for thier potential

always control the your money never let him pay the bills

you partner should accept you as you are and vise versa.

respect each other

listen to each other

fight fair

don't take each other for granted

a partner should enhance your life not bring it down or take it over.

still keep friends and go out alone.

never let anyone talk you into doing anything that makes you feel bad or your uncomfortable with.

kiss each in goodbye in the am and goodnight in the pm

just be. be yourself, be in your relationship and don't overanaylize

[kitten chick]

never let anyone talk you into doing anything that makes you feel bad or your uncomfortable with.

oh gawd, that was such an important one. how did i miss that? doh.

[basscatcher]

Never to let anyone tell me who I am.

Never let someone tell me what I am suppose to do.

Never let anyone degrade me verbally or physically.

Don't give up so fast just because there are problems; they can be worked through.

A partner is a added bonus and not a fullfillment of oneself.

To be me; be who I am.

I have a right to my own opinions and feelings.

No one can make me do anything I don't chose to do.(taking responsiblity for myself.)

I can't make anyone do what I want them to do; they have to deciede for themselves.

 

I am learning:

to be more possitive

to be more patient

to listen better

to use possitive langaage

to not live in the past

to know when enough is enough

to know when I am giving too much and not getting it in return

to let go of hope when its one sided

to accept the things I cannot change and the change the things I can and the wisdom to know the differece.

[KittenMoon]

You never expect that person (who you think will never let you down), to let you down right up until the time they do...

[jerbear]

One thought to my mind right now is:

 

carpe diem

 

Settle the issue now, if she wants a date, set it now.

 

When you two create a plan, do the execution together.

[alphamale]

I have learned that women are full of s***!

[lex007]

What do you mean by, "Never date anyone for their potential?"

 

Sometimes, I find potential quite sexy...

 

Of course, my relationships have not always been the best... so I'm wondering exactly what you mean.

[lex007]

learned that you take a little something from every relationship,

try not to forget what made you fall in love

try not to project feelings from the past onto people in the present

try to understand where they're coming from

try to make yourself understood,

 

and through all of this, never be afraid to tell the truth. Communication can do amazing things.

[Art_Critic]

Pull a credit report and have a background check done on anybody that you are going to marry or live with in any capacity..

 

It would've saved me 175k of hard earned cash

[jerbear]

Sign a prenup, even if you have no money.

[Art_Critic]

Sign a prenup, even if you have no money.

 

Prenups are almost worthless in court.. if you have kids that just about invalidates a prenup.

 

It is the State marriage/divorce laws that protect you or destroy you..

 

The definition of "Marital Property " is what matters..

 

Prenups can ruin as well as protect.

 

In my case I lost all my money during the marriage mostly due to her business failing and me bailing her out... and a prenup would'nt have me save a penny.

[jerbear]

Prenups are almost worthless in court.. if you have kids that just about invalidates a prenup.

 

It is the State marriage/divorce laws that protect you or destroy you..

 

The definition of "Marital Property " is what matters..

 

Prenups can ruin as well as protect.

 

In my case I lost all my money during the marriage mostly due to her business failing and me bailing her out... and a prenup would'nt have me save a penny.

 

Yeah states do matter big time. California is "scary" 50/50 regardless of prenup. A prof of mine lost over 50+ and another the prenup was voided. Oh well... guess she'll be a screw driver and I'm just be a used screw...

[alphamale]

Prenups are almost worthless in court.. if you have kids that just about invalidates a prenup..

HA ahah ha Ho9.....you remember that episode of Seinfeld where George was trying to get out of getting married and he asked Susan, his fiancee, to sign the prenup??? She laughed in his face cause she made more money than him and told him to get the papers drawn up and that she'd sign them... ha hahah ah

[luvtoto]

Never let your BF talk you into making a sex tape. He's an XBF now...but still, to this day, I wonder what he did with it.

[Art_Critic]

Never let your BF talk you into making a sex tape. He's an XBF now...but still, to this day, I wonder what he did with it.

 

that is why you the woman should always be the holder of the tape..

 

He still wacks off with it luvtoto

[alphamale]

Never let your BF talk you into making a sex tape. He's an XBF now...but still, to this day, I wonder what he did with it.

trust me LUVTOTO....he's still got it and he still watches it! he may have even transferred it to DVD

 

It may even be on the internet. ha ah ahahhaaha aha hahh ahh ho ho.....I'll do a yahoo search for "luvtoto sex tapes"

[Guest]

I've learned that empathy is crucial to any lasting relationship.

 

Empathy, I've learned, is humbling. Learning how to empathize often entails going through difficult times and facing dark truths about oneself.

 

I've learned that real relationships are sometimes uncomfortable, bumpy and scary. That 'true love' doesn't mean everything will be easy all the time.

 

I've learned to be vulnerable.

 

I've learned that you should trust your gut.

 

It's better to be alone than to be false.

 

Be Who You Are. That's probably the biggest lesson. Don't try to be a charmer. Don't try to be the Perfect Woman. Just Be You.