Mirage222 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 don't do this, don't be like this .. it is so unhealthy.. you are who you are and I would rather want someone real... not the falsey your trying to be... Link to post Share on other sites
Rasheem Al-Judah Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 First of all: His looking has nothing at all to do with you 99.9% of men will look or glance at any pretty face walking by. Asked the Halle Berry's and Julia Roberts' of the world. So don't take it personal. Second of All: Who said you had to change to please him anyway, all that jumping through hopes are going to wear you out. Besides it's the woman on the inside that he should be interested in. Your total person, the values you hold and the type of person you are. Finally: He met and fell for you as was, are you not the same woman. I believe so. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I really think sometimes that men don't really love. They love themselves, and they love the way a woman makes them feel. But they don't love HER. That's why they want a woman who never has any problems, never is sad, never has a bad day, never cries, never feels anything. Just a Barbie doll that doesn't do anything but stare adoringly and look away when they stare. Lol, I know women have a hard time understanding men but this really takes the biscuit. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Yeah MT, catgirl definately has a very shaky grip on reality. Talk about creating your own personal hell... Hey catgirl, maybe you missed when I said this earlier: ..I've never met anyone like her, and with no ego, I can say that I don't think I will ever again. To reflect on who she is as a person gets me choked up because I have honestly never known such a beautiful human being... You're warped and emotionally damaged. Kindly stop trying to pigeonhole all men into your twisted perceptions of us. It's not my fault, or anyone else's fault but your own that you have clearly dated a long string of douchebags in your life. Sorry catgirl, we are not all like your exes. Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 This is one of the most unhealthy relationships I've read about on here in a while. You're trying to make yourself look like girls that your boyfriend gawks at--that's pretty twisted. If your boyfriend is the type of guy who will stare at other girls in front of his girlfriend, there's nothing you can do that will stop him. You have 2 options here. You can either accept his behavior or find someone else who won't do this. You're not going to get him to stop looking at other girls. kuddos MadDog Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Yeah MT, catgirl definately has a very shaky grip on reality. Talk about creating your own personal hell... Hey catgirl, maybe you missed when I said this earlier: You're warped and emotionally damaged. Kindly stop trying to pigeonhole all men into your twisted perceptions of us. It's not my fault, or anyone else's fault but your own that you have clearly dated a long string of douchebags in your life. Sorry catgirl, we are not all like your exes. Yeah, I've obviously misjudged you. You're such a warm, kind person who doesn't get a kick out of insulting people at all. Nothing but constructive advice from you! I'm sure everything YOU say is true. And yeah, that ego doesn't remind me of my exes at ALL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 I think what's lacking in the relationship is the OP as a person. There's nothing wrong with trying to go out of your way for your SO, but to such a degree on a consistant basis... it's too much. She's lost herself in the relationship. She's become an extension of him, and invested so much of herself into him, that if he even looks at another girl it's as though he's rejecting her. IMO, I think the best thing the OP could do is develop her own life more fully. Focus on her own wants and needs more. Discover who she is, independent of her bf. That's part of what makes someone exciting and interesting. But having someone dote on you 24/7 will cause the person to take them for granted. To no longer see them as someone they should cherish and work to keep. They already know you'll be there, always ready for their every whim... You need to take back some of your independence. Re-create who you are as an individual, seperate from your bf. Show him that you shouldn't be taken for granted. That you aren't "his", but choose to be with him. Pour that energy your putting into being exactly what he wants, into doing things for yourself. Learn something, take a class, learn to play an instrument, or take up a sport. Something you enjoy, and can feel proud of. The more desperately you attempt to keep his attention, the more he'll know he doesn't need to work for it. And the less he'll be interested in you. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Good post, Walk! Just what I wanted to say! This reminds me of Brad Pitt. Has any one of you seen the article comparing him to his girlfriends? He always dresses like the girl that he's with!! What a ditz! He doesn't even have his own style... who would want to have someone like that??? (Not ME!) Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 There is a difference between a guy casually looking at a woman who is in his line of vision and one gawking and turning to look at a woman. I had a boyfriend who did this. It made me feel inferior, compared to, and not worthy of holding his interest. I had never, ever felt this way with any other guy. Because none of them looked...well, I'm sure they did, but I didn't catch them. What I did was confront this boyfriend. I told him what I noticed and asked him if he was aware that he did this. I told him how it made me feel. I told him I understood casual looking, not gawking. He was apologetic, didn't realize it, said he wouldn't do it anymore. He was good about not looking for a while, but then reverted back to it. I realized that his dad did the same thing. I decided to stay with him. He had many other great qualities. But the "looking" still pissed me off. So here are some things I did to feel better: 1. I walked away from him if I noticed he was looking at another woman. I got interested in anything else. I paid him no attention. He would come after me. 2. When he was looking at another woman, I asked him to do something for me. Like carry my shopping bag, get me a drink. Hold my purse. It put his attention back on me. 3. I checked out other guys. Turned around and checked out their asses, too. Petty? Probably, but I felt better. Saw some cute asses, too. Pissed him off once in a while, too...but I always just said "What? You do it all the time. No big deal. I really liked his jeans, (muscles, shirt, whatever.)" 4. I joked around once in a while with him if I caught him looking. Pointed out big boobed women. Pointed out guys with big muscles, too. 5. I got a life. Kept feeding my own ego. Began to verbalize what I wanted, what I didn't like. I didn't nag. I took action. Good luck. Don't know if any of this helps. Just know that there are a lot of respectful guys who don't get caught looking....They will look at you when you are together....I only had one boyfriend who stared...I understand. It makes anyone feel insecure. But you can do something about it. Even if it is leaving him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 These are great ideas Nicki! My general rule is if it becomes upsetting enough to me that I can't set it aside, then I talk to him about it. If it starts to affect my self-esteem, or feelings... And for the most part my partners have been understanding. Except for a few isolated incidents. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 i think that you should stop trying to be like those other girls.Dress how YOU like and wear your hair the way that you like it. Talk to him more about him and reassure him that if he doesn't stop checking out other women constantly let him know it's gonna be over.He has to know that you aree serious about how you feel. If you donb't take yourself seriously neither will he. Even though you love him very much you have to realize if he is disrespecting you by doing this.Have confidence in yourself. Or even show him how it feels for you, check out other attractive men also whille your in public so that maybe he can realize how it makes you feel. And if he still doesn't change then dump him!!there are plenty of men out there who can worship the ground you walk on because they truly love you. Good luck!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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