Guest Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Ok, I am a jealous person. I will not deny it. I have self esteem problems from my abusive childhood. I struggle with trust. My bf and I have been dating for 2-1/2 years. We don't watch movies that have women in bikini's, scantily clad clothing and so forth because it makes me extremely upset. He says that his motivation is not to watch the actresses, but just to watch the movie if it is one that he is interested in for other reasons. Yet all I can think of is: He must find her more attractive. I bet that he is thinking that she is so hot. I guess I'm just curious what goes through men's heads when they think of other women beside their gf/wife/partner. What sort of thoughts do you have and does that make you think less of your partner? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Ok, I am a jealous person. I will not deny it. I have self esteem problems from my abusive childhood. I struggle with trust. Yes this is the reason for how you feel, Your situation is not unique. Men, and women, are very visual when it comes to the opposite sex. This is an undeniable fact! A good looking woman would catch any guys eye, same goes for women; a good looking guy will grab their eyes. I find Angelina Jolie very, very, very, very hot!! Does it mean that I will leave my girlfriend for her...ahhhh...no. Maybe it's because I stand about as much a chance as a snowball in hell in landing Angelina? Who knows. What I know is that I am very happy with my girl, we are happy with each other. If my girl does so decide to leave me for Brad Pitt; well, what can I do, that's life. The point is, I'm not going to worry about what may or may not happen. Why read into things more than what I need to? I'm going to live my life ( being true to myself, and the people in my life) and enjoy the moment and deal with what tomorrow brings when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
kentmale86 Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Hi. if u read my thread about my gf once being a prostitute i can completly understand that jealousy is a horrible negative way of thinking. I think what you feel about your boyfriend is that other females are better than you and that your self esteem is low ur mind will play tricks on u to make u really believe its true. Being a male myself and whether knowing my gf was a prostitute or not i love her very much and care about her and fancy her and so on. However its the same for all people. someone who is attractive they are looked at. Its a Natural instinct. what determines whether your bf is worth ur love is if he tries or wants to act on his sights. i know its not a nice feeling if u see your other half looking at some1 besides u but i do it 2 other females not bcoz i fancy them or want to have sex with them i just like 2 admire the view. im sure your bf really finds u attractive otherwise y would he want 2 b ur bf... dont worry about how he feels bcoz i bet u have seen a few males in ur time and thought he's good lookin,,, and at one point i bet u were with some1 at the time. Its like u should stick to this saying...u can look but u cant touch. Link to post Share on other sites
onlyhuman Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 When I see a good looking woman, I see a good looking women.When I see an unattractive one same thing. I would try to find the cause and solution for you acting this way because it definitely is not healthy.When you get over this your life will be a lot better and more fun, definitely less stressfull. Your boyfriend is a good guy for putting up with this!If you don't stop he will go bananas.Whats next, monitering magazines,tv ads,where you go shopping, don't go to a beach? Link to post Share on other sites
cutiepie_Muffet Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Girl, I know how u feel and your emotions all stem from your low self esteem. I am the last one who should be giving advice but we women need to stop relying on our guy's opinions of us. we have to STOP comparing ourselves to women out there. I am battling a similar emotional struggle and I feel silly for it. We have to focus more on ourselves and not on our men..and give only as much as u get. I have been doing stuff to and FOR MYSELF to help with my jealousy issues..like buying nice clothes, learning new make-up tips, taking up new self-oriented projects...these things help to boost myself esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
For You I Will Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Ok, I am a jealous person. I will not deny it. I have self esteem problems from my abusive childhood. I struggle with trust. My bf and I have been dating for 2-1/2 years. We don't watch movies that have women in bikini's, scantily clad clothing and so forth because it makes me extremely upset. He says that his motivation is not to watch the actresses, but just to watch the movie if it is one that he is interested in for other reasons. Girl, this sounds like me. I have learned incredible amounts over the past years about jealousy. It IS NO GOOD. I used to be that girl that would hide my BF's eyes if a pretty girl in a bikini on Tv came on. He couldn't talk to any girls..b/c I felt that he would leave me for them. However, I have learned to just think the best. Yea, its gonna bother us if hes looking at another woman. But, you know what? Im here w/ him. It takes a lot of time. I STILL get uneasy sometimes w/ my current relationship. Like w/ the whole looking at girls on tv & in reality. But if you really sit & think about what we are getting mad at... they are girls on TV! I used to say to myself.. "he doesnt think they're pretty." Thats how I would cope w/it. However, you will learn that its OK to think the opposite sex is attractive. It took me YEARS to finally realize. Goodluck & think positive! Link to post Share on other sites
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