Controling boyfriend

[Deanna]

hi me and my boyfriend have been together for eight months now.After a month into our relationship me and my mom were having promblems and my boyfriend told me I could move in with him and his parents.I said yes because I really liked my boyfriend alot. Every thing was going great intil he trying to control me. He trys to tell me I cant hang out with the friends he dont like and when I dont listen to him he gets really upset with me and then he ignores me and trys to make me feel guilty.He has even told me he would kick me out if I didnt listen to him. He has even packed my bags then I told him I would leave then he talked me into staying but this keeps happening. He even tells me he will break up with me.And sometimes he tells me I dont care what you do anymore. and when I do he still gets upset. Why does he still get mad when he tells me that? And one thing upsets me he does what ever he wants he dont listen to me.Why does he try to control me and get mad when he cant. What do you think would be the best thing to do to make this relationship work out.And he expects me to stay home and wait for him. I really want this to work out but how?

[Lena]

Are you sure working this out would be the best thing for you? It sounds to me like he's manipulating you. If he's already telling you that you can't see your friends, and that you have to stay home and wait for him, eventually he may tell you you can't ever see your friends or family, and then you'll be trapped with noone to turn to. He may not be physically abusive, but an emotionally abusive, controlling boyfriend could be just as bad, if not worse. There are a lot of men out there that will love you without controlling you. Please take a good look at this relationship and ask yourself if it's healthy for you to continue with it.

hi me and my boyfriend have been together for eight months now.After a month into our relationship me and my mom were having promblems and my boyfriend told me I could move in with him and his parents.I said yes because I really liked my boyfriend alot. Every thing was going great intil he trying to control me. He trys to tell me I cant hang out with the friends he dont like and when I dont listen to him he gets really upset with me and then he ignores me and trys to make me feel guilty.He has even told me he would kick me out if I didnt listen to him. He has even packed my bags then I told him I would leave then he talked me into staying but this keeps happening. He even tells me he will break up with me.And sometimes he tells me I dont care what you do anymore. and when I do he still gets upset. Why does he still get mad when he tells me that? And one thing upsets me he does what ever he wants he dont listen to me.Why does he try to control me and get mad when he cant. What do you think would be the best thing to do to make this relationship work out.And he expects me to stay home and wait for him. I really want this to work out but how?

[Asrael]

I'm sorry, but your boyfriend sounds like an overprotective, possessive dick. Do you really want to stay in a relationship like that? You don't sound too happy about things. I think you need to take some time to think about things and what you want in life. You can find guys who will treat you so much better than that. I mean, I'm sure he can be really sweet to you, but do you want him controlling your whole life. That's a pretty jacked up that he doesn't want you to see people and then gives you massive guilt trips.

 

I think that if you want to make this relationship work, you need to let him know what's up. You need to tell him that you're going to see whatever friends YOU want to see and that you're going to do what YOU want to do because it's your life and he's not going to be the one controlling it. Especially if he can do what he wants. And don't let him give you a guilt trip for wanting some freedom; if he does, it just shows how much of a jerk he really is. And tell him that to his face.

 

Also, don't stay with him if you're having problems with your mother. She will always be your mother and she loves you, even when the two of you don't get along. You're family and have to stick together. Living with him is just one more way that he can control you.

 

For the most part, do what makes you happy. I mean, relly happy. Look at your life and just ask yourself if you're enjoying it, if you're REALLY happy, not just thinking you're happy, and if there's anything you want to change. You have control over your life, so do what YOU want and be happy.

 

~Asrael