Ambiguous Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 Hey guys. I hope someone can help me out here. I've been going out with this girl for quite some time now. She's very committed and dead-set on me. I'm not quite the same. I find being away from her easy, and a lot of times better for myself. She loves me, and she literally cannot be without me. And, like I said earlier, I'm not quite the same. I never really knew if I loved her, but I've told her I do, but all the while not sure of myself. Kinda got caught in the cycle of it, but never really sure if what I was saying was true. Its not a question of love really anymore. I'd either know or I wouldn't. I can comprehend that much. Anyway, the problem is we are still together. And I've always been looking for other women to go out with, or someone I would consider being with. Well, I think I found a really good woman. She's really nice, and she's been hurt by her boyfriend (cheated), and I've taken into deep consideration the implications this would have on me. I don't know if there is really anything between us. I find when you look, you don't find. Well, I've been looking. Maybe its nothing really, but even if its not, I'm still with my gf, and I really think that's a problem. Should I just break it off and move on? I'd be more than willing to, I think... Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 yeah, break up. the sooner u do, the sooner she can start learning about independency & stuff. i had the same situation w/ my bf a while ago (w/ roles reversed), i broke up, it was yucky, but i am much happier now ... best of luck! Hey guys. I hope someone can help me out here. I've been going out with this girl for quite some time now. She's very committed and dead-set on me. I'm not quite the same. I find being away from her easy, and a lot of times better for myself. She loves me, and she literally cannot be without me. And, like I said earlier, I'm not quite the same. I never really knew if I loved her, but I've told her I do, but all the while not sure of myself. Kinda got caught in the cycle of it, but never really sure if what I was saying was true. Its not a question of love really anymore. I'd either know or I wouldn't. I can comprehend that much. Anyway, the problem is we are still together. And I've always been looking for other women to go out with, or someone I would consider being with. Well, I think I found a really good woman. She's really nice, and she's been hurt by her boyfriend (cheated), and I've taken into deep consideration the implications this would have on me. I don't know if there is really anything between us. I find when you look, you don't find. Well, I've been looking. Maybe its nothing really, but even if its not, I'm still with my gf, and I really think that's a problem. Should I just break it off and move on? I'd be more than willing to, I think... Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 I think you definitely need to break up with her. All you're doing is leading her on, and that's not fair to either of you. The sooner you break up with her, the sooner she can start to get over you. Think of it this way, the longer you stay with her, the more and more she thinks she truly loves you and the longer it will take her to heal from the break up. So break up with her. Today. This minute. You'll find you'll be much happier as well. You'll be free to date others. And you'll be ready when that really special woman walks through the door. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 hi ambiguous, read over your post again. you will find a pretty clear-cut answer in it. your heart is obviously not with your current girlfriend. you are not responsible for how she feels e.g. "can't live without you". of course she can. she was living before she met you. she'll continue to do so for a long time after you're gone. you'd hurt her more by staying with her when you don't love her the same way she loves you. make a decision on what to do and stick with it. expect some comments verging on emotional blackmail i.e. passionate pleas of "don't go...i can't live without you". of course she will be hurt when you break-up with her, but like i mentioned earlier, you'll hurt her more by staying with her when it's for all the wrong reasons. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
femaleperspective Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 Hey guys. I hope someone can help me out here. I've been going out with this girl for quite some time now. She's very committed and dead-set on me. I'm not quite the same. I find being away from her easy, and a lot of times better for myself. She loves me, and she literally cannot be without me. And, like I said earlier, I'm not quite the same. I never really knew if I loved her, but I've told her I do, but all the while not sure of myself. Kinda got caught in the cycle of it, but never really sure if what I was saying was true. Its not a question of love really anymore. I'd either know or I wouldn't. I can comprehend that much. Anyway, the problem is we are still together. And I've always been looking for other women to go out with, or someone I would consider being with. Well, I think I found a really good woman. She's really nice, and she's been hurt by her boyfriend (cheated), and I've taken into deep consideration the implications this would have on me. I don't know if there is really anything between us. I find when you look, you don't find. Well, I've been looking. Maybe its nothing really, but even if its not, I'm still with my gf, and I really think that's a problem. Should I just break it off and move on? I'd be more than willing to, I think... Big time, move on fast. Clean breaks are the best, do all your talking crying etc at one time, no sense in draging things out. Try to do before the holiday. Best of luck to you and your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
amyb Posted October 3, 2001 Share Posted October 3, 2001 Why waste your time and hers with false feelings? Do you really want it to go on and on this way forever? It's also not okay to lead somone on into thinking that there are serious feelings when you don't have any for her. She sounds like a kind and devoted person, although maybe a little bit clingy, and you are doing her no kind service by staying.... Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonflys Posted October 4, 2001 Share Posted October 4, 2001 You must break this off now. You are doing her a huge disservice by leading her on and also taking interest in another women. You don't have feelings for her, the biggest clue is you preference to be alone rather than with her alot. It won't change if you feel this way. Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 When you break up with her tell her the exact reasons why you are up with her. Actually what you posted is perfect... I am not being nice to you, but to her...I have been in her position and reading your post made me understand the reasons my ex didn't want to be with me. I would have gotten over him alot sooner and not cried as long had I known the reasons cos he was like you... Leading me on (wether he was aware of it or not), not telling me he had no serious intentions, accepting my obvious love for him and just being generally nice but totally disohonest about his true feelings/intentions. Even if you didn't know earlier she is not the one for you you know now-so tell her and...don't ever do that to a woman again...make an effort to take the others feelings into consideration Link to post Share on other sites
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