help!!

[Didar]

I met this guy about three years ago, not long after we've met, we became sort of bf and gf. When i said "sort of" it is because he has a gf. he treats her very nice, also treats me very nice, he would not leave her, he aslo would not want me leave him.

 

I like him very much, i guess i love him. i now want to get out of this relationship but i am finding it very difficult.

 

we have a lots of things in common, he even said to me that he talks to me more than he talks to his gf

 

don't know what to do!

[Denise]

I would tell you that any girl is better than sharing a guy. If he knew this, he would have dropped his first girlfriend for you. Break up with him. You are better than that, and you know it. If he really likes you, he'll get you back, giving you what you deserve (a man who is entirely yours, no other girlfriends hanging about). If he doesn't come back, then he really wasn't worth it anyways. You will find someone better than him.

 

Good Luck,

 

Denise

[Miss Mojo]

hi didar,

 

omigod. this guy is so transparent. what he is up to as as plain as the nose on his slimy face.

 

right now, this guy is getting the best of both worlds. he wants a girlfriend. he's got it. he wants a girl on the side to play around with (you). he's got it.

 

basically, this guy has everything he wants right now. and no, that is not a compliment on your behalf. he knows if he wants to keep having his cake and eating too, that he has to keep you hanging in there somehow. he does that by sweet-talking you by telling you things you want to hear, such as, "i talk to you more than her". he keeps you hanging in there by being sweet to you. all this is probably why you find it so difficult to leave, when in actual fact, it should be really damn easy to leave a guy like this.

 

he obviously has no intention of leaving his girlfriend for you. he is obviously not serious enough about you to leave his current girlfriend and be with only you. even if he was to leave her and make you his girlfriend, he'd probably find another girl to fill your current place i.e. a chick on the side.

 

i wouldn't even bother giving this guy any ultimatums such as "it's either her or me". he doesn't know how to be faithful, he is obviously not loyal, he obviously doesn't have your best interests at heart.

 

make this easy on yourself. tell him to bugger off because you want a guy who knows where his loyalties lie (which, is not him) and you have more self-respect than to be the little woman on the side. then go and find a man who knows how to be a one-woman guy.

 

this guy is a user and you're letting him use you by continuing to see him. it's not that difficult to put a stop to it if you use your head and not your heart.

 

best wishes

[Julia]

Didar,

 

Please stop. He is a sleeze bag. The harsh reality is that if he did have some respect for you and had taken your feelings into account, as a true friend or boyfriend does he would have said goodbye to her ages ago to be with someone he, "can talk to" unless he was a dishonest slimey bastard.

 

Seriously the same thing happenned to my cousin. This guy that had lived with his girlfriend for 2 years said he so loved being with her,he always thought about etc. he just couldn't get rid of his girlfriend who as he described was an idiot, bitch, clingy you name it. He always said he would leave and called her everyday, professed love for her a chemistry etc. She fell pregnant. He barred her. Completely. Short story is she had a missacarriage. He is with the same girl 2 yrs later. She met the man of her dreams and is marrying in April. Her new man is honest, cool and they are in love!

 

Decent men are so wonderful and they are still out there - Trust me - When you realise this you can then be open to meeting someone who is truly worthy of your love. Be strong.

 

Julia

hi didar, omigod. this guy is so transparent. what he is up to as as plain as the nose on his slimy face. right now, this guy is getting the best of both worlds. he wants a girlfriend. he's got it. he wants a girl on the side to play around with (you). he's got it. basically, this guy has everything he wants right now. and no, that is not a compliment on your behalf. he knows if he wants to keep having his cake and eating too, that he has to keep you hanging in there somehow. he does that by sweet-talking you by telling you things you want to hear, such as, "i talk to you more than her". he keeps you hanging in there by being sweet to you. all this is probably why you find it so difficult to leave, when in actual fact, it should be really damn easy to leave a guy like this. he obviously has no intention of leaving his girlfriend for you. he is obviously not serious enough about you to leave his current girlfriend and be with only you. even if he was to leave her and make you his girlfriend, he'd probably find another girl to fill your current place i.e. a chick on the side. i wouldn't even bother giving this guy any ultimatums such as "it's either her or me". he doesn't know how to be faithful, he is obviously not loyal, he obviously doesn't have your best interests at heart. make this easy on yourself. tell him to bugger off because you want a guy who knows where his loyalties lie (which, is not him) and you have more self-respect than to be the little woman on the side. then go and find a man who knows how to be a one-woman guy. this guy is a user and you're letting him use you by continuing to see him. it's not that difficult to put a stop to it if you use your head and not your heart. best wishes