Couple of Questions

[Onfire]

Alright, I think the last post I made here (quite some time ago) was about a girl in my psych class. Instead of me asking her out, which later on I was glad I had not inherited that emotional trainwreck, she ignored me. At first, I was pissed off. Later on, I found out she was Bi and dating a girl at that time. Since then I have (tried) to kill off any feeling for her, but I don't know I think I still like her. I won't pursue any romantic interest with her though.

 

That my friends was the third or fourth experience with women that ended poorly out of all four of them (I'm 17 and I don't know should I be sleeping with every girl I meet like its a bad rerun of the OC?).

 

One problem I have is CONFIDENCE. I'm somewhat attractive, I love listening and exchanging stories with people, I'm funny (women don't like that though ), and I'm smart I guess. It's just that every experience I have with girls ends badly. WHY IS THIS! ARGH!!! IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!!! Do people seriously exist to f**k with me?!

 

and how can I overcome my confidence problem?

 

And, just to throw this one out there, What do Women want out of a meaningful conversation with men?

[Jyl_Unit]

That my friends was the third or fourth experience with women that ended poorly out of all four of them (I'm 17 and I don't know should I be sleeping with every girl I meet like its a bad rerun of the OC?).

 

One problem I have is CONFIDENCE. I'm somewhat attractive, I love listening and exchanging stories with people, I'm funny (women don't like that though ), and I'm smart I guess.

 

 

First, don't go sleeping around. All that will do is cause problems later on and plus, it isn't that attractive.

Example. A girl in my graduating class in high school had two (almost three) abortions junior/senior year. -Sound like someone you want to date?

 

I don't see where you have the confidence problem. You seem to like to talk to people and listen (a great plus with girls...we talk too much ) and a lot of girls (at least the ones I know and hang out with) LOVE funny guys.

 

Not to be cruel, but who are you trying to flirt with? Sometimes girls will think that you are completely below you and sting you along because 'it is fun.'

 

As for the lack of confidence, try faking it. Don't go overboard so you sound like a jerk, but a smile when you would normally turn away is a step in the right direction.

 

As for what women want in conversations with men...it depends. Not all women want to talk about the same things. When I am getting to know a guy I want to know what kind of common ground we share and whether or not he will want to do the things I do. If a guy can't sit through a horror movie and doesn't like to play video games, I want to know right off the bat. As for later in the relationship and meaningfulness then, it should just come to you. When you find that person you have that connection with, it won't matter what you talk about. Just that you are there together.

 

Things won't get better right off. Wait it out and don't change who you are and what you believe and value just to be with someone. It isn't worth it and it hurts you so much in the end.

[island1852]

Women want to know from conversation two things: 1) is he a good listener and 2) can he hold a decent conversation. She wants to be able to ask him questions and get a few sentance for a response, rather than one or two words. She also wants to know he is interested in her, so ask her questions about herself, her likes and dislikes, etc. I would avoid, at first, conversations about politics, religion, and ex-bfs and ex-gfs.

 

No women don't exist to mess with you, but maybe you are looking for the wrong things in women? Maybe you need to identify what you are looking for before you try to find it.

 

As for the confidence, this is also a problem for me. There is a thread on here about confidence I was reading earlier. They gave some suggestions about some books to read. Maybe you ought to find a book on the subject just to give you some perspective?