Checking out others/hurt feelings

[so far apart]

My LD boyfriend regularly checks out photos of women on the web, and when he finds someone that reminds him of me, he sends me the pic. He's not into "regular" porn type pics, more old pin-ups and "real" looking people. No matter how many times I tell him directly that it hurts my feelings, he still does it. He sees no harm -- I feel like I'm being constantly compared to others and it makes me feel like crap.

 

This past weekend I called him to tell him I was missing him; at the same time, he was sending me pics, which tells me he's spending his time browsing women's pics online. It really pissed me off....like I'm here pining for him, and he's just entertaining himself with other women.

 

I'm torn between feeling it's a harmless guy-thing, and feeling like he's still shopping for women who turn him on.

[cutiepie_Muffet]

Girl, trust me...u r not alone. I have had lots of stress lately because my guy always gawks at other women. I wasted a few months trying to be his ideal woman and according to the many responses i got on this forum, I was a nut for it. However, those who responded to my post were correct.

I have been managing to overcome those feelings of betryal though. Lately I he been focusing a little more on me and not pouring myself into him. Like u said, u sit there pining for him. what u need to do is distract yourself with things that will benefit you. I have been busy going to spas, shopping for new outfits, getting my hair and nails done and working out and having fun. And I do all of this for ME! I am not trying so hard to please him. And guess what?! I feel great and I feel sexy. And he has noticed the change in my mood. He wonders what motivates me of late. We have not been out since I posted on the forum so i am still anxious to see if this self-distraction will work. I must say thouh, my self-esteem has increased by much. Perhaps u should try to focus on yourself a bit more. Sometimes we women just put our men onto pedastals and they become our sun, moon and stars. So in return we expect the same dedication from him. Life is not like that, I guess. So, my dear, always put yourself first. Let's not loose ourselves in a man.

[aleatoryd]

I'm torn between feeling it's a harmless guy-thing, and feeling like he's still shopping for women who turn him on.

 

I think that is very weird behaviour. Sounds like he has an unhealthy obsession and would make me wonder whether he loves you or just likes a type of "look". Unless he respects you and understands why you feel upset then you should just get on with life and ignore him. It is not the normal activity of a guy who is happy with his relationship.

[parentdetective]

Hello

I agree I think that is a little weird... Have you asked him why he does that?? Have you told him it bother you?

[Jadey]

Errrmmm, that is NOT normal! It's pretty normal for a guy to look at porn..or pictures of women, but to send them to you?! Errmmm, sorry but that is not normal, that's pretty strange. He SHOULD listen to you when you say you don't like it, sre you sure he actually realises how it hurts you? Maybe he just doesn't think it hurt you as much as it does. Make sure you are clear

 

I personally don't like the thought of my guy looking at pictures of women full stop, atlough I'm sure he probably does!! But if he send me them to kind of "compare" or whatever? I would be furious..lol.