tikigods Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I think you hit it on the head 2sunny, once you start loving yourself and knowing just how great you are then you don't have to worry or get ejalous or the like, cause you know that you are the bomb diggity Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Yep, Smootchie - That would be me! No jealousy or wishing I was someone else or trying to change things about myself. I was taught to love myself the way I am. Fortunately for me, I am pretty,happy, outgoing and love people and daily life, have a wonderful place to live, alot of people who love me - and I love them, oh ya, and a great body for 44 doesn't hurt either.... even 20 year olds are envious of my bod.... oh well... yep, I am a magnet for anyone around me.... Sooooo, what would I be jealous and wanting to be someone else for? I still say that anyone who claims to have absolutely no insecurities whatsoever is being delusional at best. In regard to what you have written here... anyone can come on here and say what you have said and shout from the mountaintops that they are completely free of insecurities. However, just because someone SAYS so doesn't MAKE it so. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I still say that anyone who claims to have absolutely no insecurities whatsoever is being delusional at best. In regard to what you have written here... anyone can come on here and say what you have said and shout from the mountaintops that they are completely free of insecurities. However, just because someone SAYS so doesn't MAKE it so. You can think that, but you don't know me well enough to understand that I like myself just this way - and that there is nothing that needs to change. Me or my environment or my belief system or the friends I love and the ones that love me.... it's all good! Daily life is amazing... I wouldn't give a crap if I died tomorrow... I would know that I was a happy gal every day that am able to be here! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 You can think that, but you don't know me well enough to understand that I like myself just this way - and that there is nothing that needs to change. Me or my environment or my belief system or the friends I love and the ones that love me.... it's all good! Daily life is amazing... I wouldn't give a crap if I died tomorrow... I would know that I was a happy gal every day that am able to be here! So if your life is *perfect* and free of insecurities then why are you here on a site filled with insecure people? Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Insecurities have been there since the begginning of time.There was always someone or something more dominant than someone else.So obviously there is some insecurity in everyone.I agree that to a certain extent that it is nurture.But people are born in different ways they may be bigger than some other people. Humans have the capabilaty to be insecure because thats what is meant to be.Insecurity stems from all of our emotions fear,anger,hate ,jelousy and so on.... It is normal to be insecure no matter what anyone says. Im studying psychology at the the moment and its quite interesting.No other one person is the same but nearly every one is insecure about something.No one is completley happy about anything its the way humans are! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Insecurities have been there since the begginning of time.There was always someone or something more dominant than someone else.So obviously there is some insecurity in everyone.I agree that to a certain extent that it is nurture.But people are born in different ways they may be bigger than some other people. Humans have the capabilaty to be insecure because thats what is meant to be.Insecurity stems from all of our emotions fear,anger,hate ,jelousy and so on.... It is normal to be insecure no matter what anyone says. Im studying psychology at the the moment and its quite interesting.No other one person is the same but nearly every one is insecure about something.No one is completley happy about anything its the way humans are! I would like to know where people are getting this information that insecurity is normal? What evolutionary purpose does it serve? I admit that it's been like 4 years since I got my degree in psych, so who knows. I may be behind the times. But I would really be interested in someone offering up actual information that I could actually read and learn from rather than their opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Insecurities have been there since the begginning of time.There was always someone or something more dominant than someone else.So obviously there is some insecurity in everyone.I agree that to a certain extent that it is nurture.But people are born in different ways they may be bigger than some other people. Humans have the capabilaty to be insecure because thats what is meant to be.Insecurity stems from all of our emotions fear,anger,hate ,jelousy and so on.... It is normal to be insecure no matter what anyone says. Im studying psychology at the the moment and its quite interesting.No other one person is the same but nearly every one is insecure about something.No one is completley happy about anything its the way humans are! Thank you for posting that - a REALISTIC assessment of the issue. It's good to see that there are people who are living in the *real* world instead of some nutty fictitious la-la land that exists in dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 What evolutionary purpose does it serve? Why would it have to have a purpose? You know, it's possible that insecurity is something that simply exists - without any specific *purpose*. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I was trying to edit. Anyways, I have yet to observe an infant or child that is naturally, innately insecure. There are attachment disorders that have their roots in infancy, but again, it has to do with the mothering style. I did my senior thesis on attachment style and maternal investment, so I would be really curious to see evidence to the contrary. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I still maintain there is a difference between "normal" and "natural." I believe that insecurities are taught to us through our interactions with the people around us. Yes, every person is insecure, but we are taught that insecurity. If someone is insecure, they are normal, that's for sure. But it's still not natural. I think what would be natural would be for us to all be happy with ourselves and with each other. That might be natural, but it's not the norm. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 All insecurity stems from things that have happenend or that they are scared of.Insecurity is normal.... to a certain extent!You cant deny that.Humans arent meant to be totally sure of themselves otherwise there would be war everywhere!Everyone would think there gods gift!that isnt right it isnt meant to be like that! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 nope, just tend to be happy with what is handed to me, good, bad or indifferent. believe me, life is and has not always been good, I just try to understand that it is better than most. seems to make life a bit more palatable when you have a positive and happy nature. seems to draw the same personalities to you when you tend o have this outlook.... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 All insecurity stems from things that have happenend or that they are scared of.Insecurity is normal.... to a certain extent!You cant deny that.Humans arent meant to be totally sure of themselves otherwise there would be war everywhere!Everyone would think there gods gift!that isnt right it isnt meant to be like that! Um, no. that would be having a huge ego and being self centered. Which is different from being secure. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but there is war everywhere, isn't there? There hasn't been a time that war hasn't been on this planet in hundreds of years. This is the definition of insecurity: Insecurity is either danger, i.e., lack of objective security (in a physical situation or a computer system), or an emotion of general unease or nervousness without obvious cause or purpose (see also anxiety). Anxiety without cause or purpose serves no function. Therefore it would never evolve to exist in the panoply of human emotions. Emotions serve an evolutionary purpose, as reluctant romeo was so kind to point out to me. Emotion, in its most general definition, is a neural impulse that moves an organism to action, prompting automatic reactive behavior that has been adapted through evolution as a survival mechanism to meet a survival need. So, I ask again -- can you cite sources or direct me to where you are getting your information? I am only demanding intellectual rigor here, I think that's within normal expectations in a debate. You can look up "insecurity" and "emotions" in wikipedia for more information. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I'm glad you responded to that, B_O. Totally secure people would never go to war. Why? Everyone is fine with things the way they are. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I would like to know where people are getting this information that insecurity is normal? What evolutionary purpose does it serve? I think of insecurity as a sort of ongoing fear, and I suppose that I'd see fear as serving a purpose insofar as it can alert you to certain risks or dangers. If you start becoming paralysed by irrational fears or dwell on the possibility of things going wrong, then obviously that's destructive. When I start feeling insecure, I generally take it as a sign that I might have been placing too much reliance on a particular person/desired outcome....and need to start making some Plan B type provision for the possibility that that person might leave me, or that the outcome I want may not transpire. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I think of insecurity as a sort of ongoing fear, and I suppose that I'd see fear as serving a purpose insofar as it can alert you to certain risks or dangers. If you start becoming paralysed by irrational fears or dwell on the possibility of things going wrong, then obviously that's destructive. When I start feeling insecure, I generally take it as a sign that I might have been placing too much reliance on a particular person/desired outcome....and need to start making some Plan B type provision for the possibility that that person might leave me, or that the outcome I want may not transpire. So it's like an excessive amount of a normally occurring emotion? Like anxiety disorders, or depression -- a further, deeper expression of an emotion? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I think of insecurity as a sort of ongoing fear, and I suppose that I'd see fear as serving a purpose insofar as it can alert you to certain risks or dangers. If you start becoming paralysed by irrational fears or dwell on the possibility of things going wrong, then obviously that's destructive. When I start feeling insecure, I generally take it as a sign that I might have been placing too much reliance on a particular person/desired outcome....and need to start making some Plan B type provision for the possibility that that person might leave me, or that the outcome I want may not transpire. So that means that *fear* is an emotion that has a purpose, right? I just don't buy this bull about insecurity being abnormal... what a crock! Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I just don't buy this bull about insecurity being abnormal... what a crock! Where did it say that? I thought this was an argument of nature vs nurture, and whether or not insecurity is natural... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Where did it say that? I thought this was an argument of nature vs nurture, and whether or not insecurity is natural... Well, I take the tack that it's a pathological excess of anxiety because it's suppsed to be anxiety related no real cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 As i have said im only studying psychology.Maybe you have done psychology but psychology is never totally right .people are different. What you define as being insecure may differ from other peoples views.Psychologists have always dissagreed. You can make fun of me all you like but it doesnt make you any better judge of character than me. There has been war for some people everyday...ie bullying it feels like hell to them. some psychologists have been said to onl have a professional view on things.Doesnt mean its always right! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Where did it say that? I thought this was an argument of nature vs nurture, and whether or not insecurity is natural... See post #31. Looks like B_O has a firm belief that insecurity is not normal. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 So it's like an excessive amount of a normally occurring emotion? Like anxiety disorders, or depression -- a further, deeper expression of an emotion? That would be my take. Or I suppose it can be also a learned behaviour...as in "expressing insecurity has usually garnered me the love and reassurance I needed in the past." Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 As i have said im only studying psychology.Maybe you have done psychology but psychology is never totally right .people are different. What you define as being insecure may differ from other peoples views.Psychologists have always dissagreed. You can make fun of me all you like but it doesnt make you any better judge of character than me. There has been war for some people everyday...ie bullying it feels like hell to them. some psychologists have been said to onl have a professional view on things.Doesnt mean its always right! When exactly did I make fun of you? Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 See post #31. Looks like B_O has a firm belief that insecurity is not normal. Maybe she has a firm belief that you're not normal! :lmao: I'm just teasing. Just fannin' the flames, as it were... But seriously, I agree with her that the feelings have no real justification most of the time. Insecurity rooted in a real issue, like oh my gosh there's a bear that is about to eat me, isn't really insecurity, it's fear, and is useful because then you avoid the bears. It doesn't come from anyone else, you see a bear as a baby and it's going to give you pause because instinctually you know it's gonna eat ya. (Which makes me wonder about Teddy bears, what's up with that?) But I don't think babies naturally fear supermodels. Took me years to get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 we are insecure from the minute we are born.we are scared we cant doing anything for ourselves.It depends how we grow up and who with to determine wether or not we carry on being scared or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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