2sunny Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Another thread made me wonder.... Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Even possibly that the OW REMINDS the MM of a younger or more open minded version of his wife from years ago? Just wondering how you all feel about this.... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Psycho ex cheated on me several times, with different women, but the one he had an actual relationship with looked uncannily like me. Same haircut, same style of dress. It was weird. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Another thread made me wonder.... Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Even possibly that the OW REMINDS the MM of a younger or more open minded version of his wife from years ago? Just wondering how you all feel about this.... I look nothing like his wife (thank god!), I am totally different in personality (thank god!). My xMM looks nothing like my H and is totally different in characteristics. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I look nothing like his wife (thank god!), I am totally different in personality (thank god!). My xMM looks nothing like my H and is totally different in characteristics. DITTO everything here for me as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Wife looks somewhat like me in hair color and build, but I am more petite. Personality-wise, she is my polar opposite. We are NOTHING alike. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 DITTO everything here for me as well! His wife knows everything and is an expert in everything. She talks and doesn't listen. She belittles in order to get her way - so he says. She says judges my character because I don't think that I want to have children. I really hope to god that I'm not like that. I wouldn't like myself very much if I were. If I were like her, I would take pleasure in slitting my own wrist. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 My ex H cheated many times , but the woman he ultimatly married after our D looks a lot like me .And I look like the girl befor me. Link to post Share on other sites
CeeJayXX Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 W and I are complete opposites (in everything). She is very quiet and to herself. Doesnt work. Doesnt go out anywhere with friends or MM. She is very short but a pleasant looking woman. She isn't personable or overly happy and smiling all the time. I am 35 years younger and very energetic. I enjoy nights out on the town with MM. I enjoy doing things for his birthday and holidays. We laugh a lot and talk about personal thoughts a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Another thread made me wonder.... Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Even possibly that the OW REMINDS the MM of a younger or more open minded version of his wife from years ago? Just wondering how you all feel about this.... My H's exOW was nothing like me, personality nor looks. I was never like her even when my H and I first met. Link to post Share on other sites
OzGirl Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Based on what I was told by the MM (now ex-MM), his kids, people from work who'd met his W, and a photo I saw of her, by all accounts we are absolute opposites physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Makes me confused why he married one and had an affair with the other - he was literally getting not just his cake, but a wide variety of cakes, as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Wicked Wanda Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Hmmm.... I hope not! I am an older OW and look and behave very differently. I am also more broad-minded than the W. But I have caught him trying to modify my appearance at time to resemble that of his wife...pearls, red nail polish... Link to post Share on other sites
My_Other_I Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Personality-wise, she is my polar opposite. We are NOTHING alike. That goes for me, too. Look-wise and personality-wise we are NOTHING alike what so ever. Maybe they are looking for something different? A little bit of everything? MM aka cakemen are so funny! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted April 26, 2006 Author Share Posted April 26, 2006 When I saw a picture recently of my stbxh and the new gal he is dating it shocked me how much she physically looks like me! I didn't see her body, just her face. I have heard from a few folks though, that he thinks she has a few pounds to lose (he he - he's never happy, and never will be). I am a tall but very slim gal. I thought it was curious when I saw the picture - as it struck me as very odd. For some reason I thought he would choose a blond. Oh ya, one of my very dear male friends has said on several occasions when we have been out over the years that I could easily pass as his wife since we look the same. I told him that's a compliment because she's cute... Curious as well. Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 His wife is 6 feet tall...I am 5'7. She is lazy, doesn't work, doesn't work around the house, doesn't cook, doesn't do much of anything but spend money on ugly crap for the house. Their house is decorated so plain but very traditional and outdated. Lots of florals and ugly crap. No draperies, pictures hung in crazy places, etc. Both of her sons play ball and she doesn't even go to watch the games. She sits and writes letters and reads books alot. I am a workaholic, my day begins when i get home from work, I work in the yard and around the house, cook most all the time and have very modern taste in furnishings. I like leather and lodge-like furnishings. Not that I am superwoman, but I just have alot of energy and like things to look nice. She has brown hair, mine is auburn. She has a huge nose, mine is normal...I think. She is very large boned, I am not. Basically, we are two totally different people. She went to college and graduated like I did but never even tried to get a job. I certainly hope that he finds me totally different. By the way, did I mention that she hates sex since their second child was born. I live for sex! So to answer your question...not in my case. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 I was inspired by this thread so I started a similar one here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=773380#post773380 By the way, I think that what your MM tell you about their wives' personalities might not be quite true. The traits you described are not even on the typical personality trait list. "Doesn't cook" is not a personality trait. I would say your MM have a nice personality trait called: belittling their own wives. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Another thread made me wonder.... Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Even possibly that the OW REMINDS the MM of a younger or more open minded version of his wife from years ago? Just wondering how you all feel about this.... The only thing the W and I have in common is our age. The rest is totally different; looks, personality, outlook on life, interests and everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Hmmm... well I don't know much about his W. We don't talk about her, except where it's come up regarding something that's happened... he's never described her in any way ~ just rather reported on things. He has voiced frustration that they just don't communicate... but he says that's just as likely to be his 'fault' as hers. I've never seen a picture of her (never want to!). All I know is she's about 5 years younger than me (and him). Um... and I am pretty sure she must be shorter than me, because he says he's never gone for tall women before (I'm 5'8"). And... that's about it. Link to post Share on other sites
yesmaybe Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 I would say your MM have a nice personality trait called: belittling their own wives. SO TRUE!! I've never seen W's pic, and MM has never described her. MM has dated every single type of girl there is - every race, height, weight, hair/eye color combo. Personality-wise, he says we're totally different. Plus, I'm 20 years younger. Link to post Share on other sites
Sasperilla Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Don't you think it's wierd that you are all so 'different' in personality to the wife? How can you know what the wife's personality is, unless you are actually friends with her? Of course the MM is not going to paint a great picture of the wife's personality. It's the only way he justify what he is doing. What would you say if he told you " My wife is really easy-going, sexy, fun and talented in so many areas?" Wouldn't you wonder what he wanted with you? Personality doesn't really change too much over a lifetime so presumably if she has a cr*p personality, then she had a cr*p one when they got married too. Go figure. In answer to the question, I think in many cases the OW and MW will probably be similar in personality and looks. The difference is that he has never: - been scolded by the OW for not doing any work around the home - been nagged by the OW for burping/farting/smelling/picking his nose - seen the OW give birth - seen the OW slobbing around in joggers having just picked spots on her face And the biggest difference: The OW is just someone DIFFERENT! Link to post Share on other sites
ImWithHim Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 By the way, I think that what your MM tell you about their wives' personalities might not be quite true. The traits you described are not even on the typical personality trait list. "Doesn't cook" is not a personality trait. I would say your MM have a nice personality trait called: belittling their own wives. I completely agree. I suspect that the OW and W are more alike than they want to think about in most cases. The OW wants to think she is different - and thereby, better. The MM talks badly about the W but surely he doesn't mention anything good or positive about her in most cases. I'm a little surprised there are so many of you buying into all that "We are completely different" because he says she's fat, lazy, has no interests, etc..thing....com'on now. You can't really believe that do you? Frankly, I'd be a little concerned if ImWithHer was constantly belittling his wife. We certainly don't sit around talking about how great she is, but he doesn't spend his time with me talking about how awful she is. She's not a bad person, they are just no longer right for eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Don't you think it's wierd that you are all so 'different' in personality to the wife? How can you know what the wife's personality is, unless you are actually friends with her? Of course the MM is not going to paint a great picture of the wife's personality. It's the only way he justify what he is doing. What would you say if he told you " My wife is really easy-going, sexy, fun and talented in so many areas?" Wouldn't you wonder what he wanted with you? Personality doesn't really change too much over a lifetime so presumably if she has a cr*p personality, then she had a cr*p one when they got married too. Go figure. I have actually met her. And quite the contrary, my MM speak very highly of her; she's a good mother, his family loves her, she's house proud etc, but he is no longer loves her, nor is he in love with her. If he started bad mouthing her I would run a mile, literally!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 It's funny isn't it that the MM belittles the MW to the OW and he belittles the OW to the MW. Here's what my husband told me about the OW: - she is 'low-class' - she has a moustache - she had a repulsive stomach (too many kids) - she had a nasty temper - everyone at work hated her - she is vain - she thinks she is a 'mover and shifter' when she is in fact a big fish in a little pond playing at being a'player' - she had limited intelligence - her husband had been trying to divorce her for years I took it all with a pinch of salt. I suggest you do the same when the MM rips into the MW. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 She's not a bad person, they are just no longer right for eachother. If this is the case, why isn't he going to leave her? Usually when people aren't right for eachother anymore, they get divorced. Sorry, I am not meaning this to hurt your feelings... This goes for anybody involved with a MM. The MM not leaving and ending the marriage is just selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 If this is the case, why isn't he going to leave her? Usually when people aren't right for eachother anymore, they get divorced. Sorry, I am not meaning this to hurt your feelings... This goes for anybody involved with a MM. The MM not leaving and ending the marriage is just selfish. If you are going to keep at this, I'm not going to post here. I posted my opinion in this thread. I didn't ask for your criticism of him or our relationship. Furthermore, how many MM do you know that dropped everything right off the bat and ran off to marry the OW? Few to none. These things take time. And the reality of life is that quite frequently people who are no longer right for eachother DON'T get divorced - for a variety of reasons. You're living in a dream world if you believe that everyone who realizes they are no longer happy just shake on it and get divorced. They suffer through an unhappy marriage despite no longer being right for eachother and no longer being in love. Link to post Share on other sites
ImWithHim Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 If this is the case, why isn't he going to leave her? Usually when people aren't right for eachother anymore, they get divorced. Sorry, I am not meaning this to hurt your feelings... This goes for anybody involved with a MM. The MM not leaving and ending the marriage is just selfish. I already replied to this once but it let me post without making me log in (I thought I was logged in) so it said it had to be approved by admin... To sum up what I said before though, you live in a fantasy world if you think that all people who are not right for eachother anymore get divorced. The reality of the world is that many people stay in a marriage long after they have ceased to be happy and in love anymore. Furthermore, if you're going to single out my replies to every thread I reply to and try to stear me away from him, you're wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
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