movinon05 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 This is exactly why I only said we were opposites in looks and personalities. There as no point in pointing out her bad traits, etc. and exalting my good traits. I know her very well. And I know enough that we are opposites. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Interestingly enough , and please don't anyone take this the wrong way .But a lot of the responces here seem to be not a simple "no ,we look nothing alike ", but very strongly "NO I'm nothing like that terrible woman" Is it possible that the idea that the MM has planted about his W is so awful that you see her as horid and awful? Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 This is exactly why I only said we were opposites in looks and personalities. There as no point in pointing out her bad traits, etc. and exalting my good traits. I know her very well. And I know enough that we are opposites. xMM used to forward me all her emails to him to read. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 xMM used to forward me all her emails to him to read. Yours is probably a different case. I just knew there would be comments on the board. Hey, I knew her firsthand. And experienced it all. And I'll leave it at that for this particular subject. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Yours is probably a different case. I just knew there would be comments on the board. Hey, I knew her firsthand. And experienced it all. And I'll leave it at that for this particular subject. I recall what you've indicated she's done to you. I can say from your posts that you are totally different than she is. Thank god almighty for that! I know that my xMM's wife and I react very differently if we had to deal with similar situations. In some ways, she's much stronger than I am, but I am less preachy about right vs. wrong. I don't really believe in saying in any of my sentences, "That's what normal people do". But then again, I never thought myself normal... maybe that's the problem in the first place... Anyway, if I ever say "that's what normal people do" on this forum, just let me know... if that day ever comes, I'll know I've gone insane and should likely go drive off a cliff. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 I recall what you've indicated she's done to you. I can say from your posts that you are totally different than she is. Thank god almighty for that! I know that my xMM's wife and I react very differently if we had to deal with similar situations. In some ways, she's much stronger than I am, but I am less preachy about right vs. wrong. I don't really believe in saying in any of my sentences, "That's what normal people do". But then again, I never thought myself normal... maybe that's the problem in the first place... Anyway, if I ever say "that's what normal people do" on this forum, just let me know... if that day ever comes, I'll know I've gone insane and should likely go drive off a cliff. When I say yours is a different case, I just mean that you have proof positive. Unlike others who may hear stuff through the MM and believe it. I didn't hear terrible things about her too much, but I knew enough of them personally. So I think we're in the same boat on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 When I say yours is a different case, I just mean that you have proof positive. Unlike others who may hear stuff through the MM and believe it. I didn't hear terrible things about her too much, but I knew enough of them personally. So I think we're in the same boat on this one. Thanks MO. I got you Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 To sum up what I said before though, you live in a fantasy world if you think that all people who are not right for eachother anymore get divorced. The reality of the world is that many people stay in a marriage long after they have ceased to be happy and in love anymore. Unfortunately, this is sad but also probably true. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So all in all we came to this conclusion: most wives are hysterical, nagging, fat, lazy, boring, don't deserve to be loved... Most OW are stylish and cute, understanding and tolerant, sweet and kind, sexy and slim, cook, clean, work, want sex... Isn't it it more a matter of circumstances (and lies told by the MM) than personality? If we assume that all MM cheat on their wives EXACTLY for the reasons mentioned above (because their personalities and looks suck), then can we assume that all OW are the best because the married cheaters deserve the best? I think the OW treat the MM like their wives treated them when they were dating, because dating is always different from marriage. I know that my husband would divorce me if I turned into what the MM tell you about their wives, rather than cheat on me. I also know that the way he treats me, I have no choice but be good to him so if things remain the same, he isn't likely to cheat on me or me on him. Of course, I am not saying he's perfect or I'm a perfect wife, but we love each other and I just can't see things going in the direction where these MM went. So you must admit that a part of their marriage failure is THEIR fault also. I can't believe that they were all that great all those years and the wives were terrible so they decided to cheat on them. But of course, they will try to justify their deed by gossipping the wife. I think they just want to live life to the fullest and don't intend to divorce. They live a bigamous life and act as if they're not married at all, except for the fact that they have to lie and cheat (which doesn't seem to bother them much). Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So all in all we came to this conclusion: most wives are hysterical, nagging, fat, lazy, boring, don't deserve to be loved... Most OW are stylish and cute, understanding and tolerant, sweet and kind, sexy and slim, cook, clean, work, want sex... That's a sweeping generalization. We all don't feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So all in all we came to this conclusion: most wives are hysterical, nagging, fat, lazy, boring, don't deserve to be loved... Most OW are stylish and cute, understanding and tolerant, sweet and kind, sexy and slim, cook, clean, work, want sex... That's a sweeping generalization. We all don't feel that way. I'm with you on this one MO. I think everyone deserves to be happy. It also takes two to make any relationship work, but we all know that already. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Forgive me for offending anyone. That is not my intention. But why is so difficult for anyone to believe that us OW might possibly BE just as wonderful as the wives? Or, dare I say, in certain aspects, even better? Not that I have compared. I have not. Everyone is wonderful in their own unique ways. I see no distinguishing difference between who is better, per se. Let's just all agree that regardless of whether we are OW, xOW, or BS, we all have positive and attractive qualities that we bring to the table. In reading the posts here on LS, I have formed the conclusion that there are some extraordinary wives AS WELL as extraordinary OW. And, it really doesn't matter to me who is BETTER. I am just saying that, as individuals, we are all DIFFERENT. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So all in all we came to this conclusion: most wives are hysterical, nagging, fat, lazy, boring, don't deserve to be loved... Most OW are stylish and cute, understanding and tolerant, sweet and kind, sexy and slim, cook, clean, work, want sex... Isn't it it more a matter of circumstances (and lies told by the MM) than personality? If we assume that all MM cheat on their wives EXACTLY for the reasons mentioned above (because their personalities and looks suck), then can we assume that all OW are the best because the married cheaters deserve the best? You make an interesting observation there, RecordProducer. It is a generalization, but i believe that CAKEMEN are having an affair for that reason - the OWs are, in fact, better looking. Why else would they bother? It does take a lot of work to get into these women's beds! To answer the OP, I don't look like my MM's wife. She has blond hair and blue eyes. While she is considered "fit" she's not "slim" like me. (If you want a mental image of her... think of Tori Spelling.) I have dark hair (dyed black) and brown eyes. But our personality is somewhat similar. We are both strong, educated women. But she's not as nice as I am. She's an arrogant and likes to spend money on herself. I apologize if I sound vain and egocentric. I don't mean to offend any one. I only talk like this because I want to get these thoughts off my head. I have no other means of doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
OzGirl Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Since revelation of the A, and the MM not seeing me any more, he says he told his W I was "a great friend" in times of need, and that she agreed I was, and said other good things about me.... Thought I'd just post this because, it's highly amusing that now that his W knows, he still attempted to say "how dumb is my W" (which is the way in which it was communicated to me), and flatter me in the process. I think he must secretly wear glasses, and inside the top of each frame, is the word "idiot", so when he looks at people, it looks like it says that across their forehead. Oh, and for anyone who's interested (a bit off topic though), and short update on my ex-MM - he rang me the other day to say he's thinking of getting a pre-paid SIM card for his phone so he can ring me and not get caught. I told him he ought to consider the pain he's caused everyone, and how good it would feel within himself if he was a faithful husband instead, and that maybe buying a book on how to be one would be a better investment in the long term. I don't want to have anything to do with him. His wife is due in July, for Christ's sake! IDIOT!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 You make an interesting observation there, RecordProducer. It is a generalization, but i believe that CAKEMEN are having an affair for that reason - the OWs are, in fact, better looking. Why else would they bother? It does take a lot of work to get into these women's beds! I believe RP was pointing out some of the generalizations that were already being made. And I'm sorry it dosn't take that much work to get into their beds , they didn't even have to get divorced first. I would imagine many times the OW is more attractive and many times in not .No reason for anyone to make broad generalizations , all people have their own reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So all in all we came to this conclusion: most wives are hysterical, nagging, fat, lazy, boring, don't deserve to be loved... Most OW are stylish and cute, understanding and tolerant, sweet and kind, sexy and slim, cook, clean, work, want sex... Isn't it it more a matter of circumstances (and lies told by the MM) than personality? If we assume that all MM cheat on their wives EXACTLY for the reasons mentioned above (because their personalities and looks suck), then can we assume that all OW are the best because the married cheaters deserve the best? I think the OW treat the MM like their wives treated them when they were dating, because dating is always different from marriage. I know that my husband would divorce me if I turned into what the MM tell you about their wives, rather than cheat on me. I also know that the way he treats me, I have no choice but be good to him so if things remain the same, he isn't likely to cheat on me or me on him. Of course, I am not saying he's perfect or I'm a perfect wife, but we love each other and I just can't see things going in the direction where these MM went. So you must admit that a part of their marriage failure is THEIR fault also. I can't believe that they were all that great all those years and the wives were terrible so they decided to cheat on them. But of course, they will try to justify their deed by gossipping the wife. I think they just want to live life to the fullest and don't intend to divorce. They live a bigamous life and act as if they're not married at all, except for the fact that they have to lie and cheat (which doesn't seem to bother them much). I suggest you scroll up and read my previous posts. You seem to have missed them. I might also add that my MM would very readily admit that HE is to blame for an awful lot that has gone wrong in the M for the last 10 years. Please take note. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Oh, and for anyone who's interested (a bit off topic though), and short update on my ex-MM - he rang me the other day to say he's thinking of getting a pre-paid SIM card for his phone so he can ring me and not get caught. I told him he ought to consider the pain he's caused everyone, and how good it would feel within himself if he was a faithful husband instead, and that maybe buying a book on how to be one would be a better investment in the long term. I don't want to have anything to do with him. His wife is due in July, for Christ's sake! IDIOT!!!! Ozgirl, IDIOT is one way of describing him. I can think of other (unprintable) ways too.... I assume he rang you from a phone box in town when he told you about his plans for the new phone??? Good for you for telling him where to go! Link to post Share on other sites
Torn Up Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Oh Lord...noooooo! She and I are like comparing Edith Bunker to Louise Jefferson...me being more like Jefferson, of course. She's quite the domestic goddess, whereas I like being out and about. Her idea of excercise is vacuuming, mine is mountain hiking to a lake. She wears absolutely no makeup. I do. Her clothes fit loosely, mine a bit more tight. She listens to country western...I like classic rock. She prefers tennis shoes, I like boots and high heels. Need I go on? ~Torn~ Link to post Share on other sites
xxrubyredxx Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I havn't the foggiest if the OW and I are alike in our personalities, but as for looks, we are polars apart. She is short, plump, with short bleached blonde hair. I on the other hand, have long, dark hair, am a little taller than OW and I'm slimmer, more stylish! My H told me that looks weren't everything when I'd asked him what he saw in her.....you're telling me! LMAO!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Another thread made me wonder.... Do the W and OW usually hold same characteristics - whether it be looks or personality traits? Even possibly that the OW REMINDS the MM of a younger or more open minded version of his wife from years ago? Just wondering how you all feel about this.... this I just told my MM! everything he has told me about his W's background and many interests are exactly the same as mine! and all so my MM has quite a few of my husbands...even in the looks department..both blond..one with green eyes the other blue..both are sticklers for details,perfectionist to the extreme..I found all this so weird Link to post Share on other sites
scarletletter Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 The things MM told me about his wife are not the things that I mentioned in my first post on here. They are things that I KNOW for a fact. He doesn't talk about her much. When we are together, the last thing we want to talk about is our spouses that both make us unhappy. I don't really care what she looks like or acts like because I don't have to live with her. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 My ex MM's wife and I are completely the opposite! Not even a mere resemblence in character or physical appearance! Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 My ex MM's wife and I are completely the opposite! Not even a mere resemblence in character or physical appearance!he sent me a picture of his wife (can you believe that? believe me I didn't ask...I think he just hoped I would do the same which I didn't) and we look nothing alike at all. I'm blond with blue eyes..short and thin...she's exactly the opposite. but like I mentioned many things she likes and background are the same...she also has a mean streak..as do I. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 .... but like I mentioned many things she likes and background are the same...she also has a mean streak..as do I. Mean streak??Do tell! The problem is that I don't have any meanness in me at all. I can't even imagine doing anything that would hurt anybody - let alone my MM. My MM's wife can be mean, though. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 My MM's W is nothing like me. She's old fasion in every sense, and she's only 7 years older than me! She's short, I'm tall. Her hair is short, mine is long. I still dress like a teen, she dresses like an old lady. I'm wild and she's a one kind of position girl in bed. Maybe that's why he wanted me in the first place. I don't know how she could have ever handled what he has to offer! Link to post Share on other sites
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