KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 You all are such suckers for LOVE, and NEED to be NEEDED. Why do you post on this thread if you don't have any advice? In fact, why are you spewing venom on a forum for OW/OM? Are you, yourself, without faults? Most of us here can easily ignore your posts... you don't hurt us with your acrid words. But I think that you must be seriously damaged in some ways to be talking like that to total strangers. Please seek help... for your own sake. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 WOW. So these are those claws I've been reading about. Told ya. :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Why do you post on this thread if you don't have any advice? In fact, why are you spewing venom on a forum for OW/OM? Are you, yourself, without faults? Most of us here can easily ignore your posts... you don't hurt us with your acrid words. But I think that you must be seriously damaged in some ways to be talking like that to total strangers. Please seek help... for your own sake. Actually, he's kinda boring, with not much to offer. Maybe that's why he can't keep one woman at a time? Neither does he come across intelligent either. More like ignorance to me. Maybe I'm having a moment. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Zara, don't get yourself all worked up over his posts. You can easily set him on 'ignore'. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Zara.... *on the floor* *laughing* You are a fire cracker! I'm not prepared to take someone's verbal abuse and close minded, morsel minded views! Just isn't in me! *HIGH 5* Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I wasn't going to add any more to this thread but decided to anyway to give more detail on the exOW and I. ExOW is a couple inches taller than me, and thinner. She had (at the time of the A) short, curly reddish brown hair and green or brown eyes, can't remember. I had, and still do long, straight, blonde hair and blue eyes. My self-esteem isn't exactly very high but I can honestly admit I'm more attractive than her. Even H said I was more attractive than her during their A but he said it wasn't her appearance he was attracted to, it was her personality and how she paid attention to him, blah! She has a tatoo, I don't, they just aren't for me. She is very outgoing and very flirtacious, and likes to be the center of attention. I'm shy around ppl I don't know but do come out of my shell if I know ppl more. She is into sports, and plays a lot, like H, but I'm not into sports at all. The only thing the exOW and I have in common is horses and use to talk about them b4 I found out about their A. B4 the A H even thought we would be good friends, HA HA! I could of been her friend, if she didn't persue my H that is. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Zara.... *on the floor* *laughing* You are a fire cracker! I'm not prepared to take someone's verbal abuse and close minded, morsel minded views! Just isn't in me! *HIGH 5* I was on the floor laughing because I know only a man with a tiny little penis would fool himself to think that way about women... dude doesn't realize how illogical his statements are... my claws are as sharp as a declawed cat... :lmao: . What feeble attempt is that!?!! I've a mother in law... he doesn't even come close. Its only men like him who would FOOL themselves to think that they can lay insult at my door. :lmao: Dumbass opened the door too wide for me not to step in.... Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I wasn't going to add any more to this thread but decided to anyway to give more detail on the exOW and I. ExOW is a couple inches taller than me, and thinner. She had (at the time of the A) short, curly reddish brown hair and green or brown eyes, can't remember. I had, and still do long, straight, blonde hair and blue eyes. My self-esteem isn't exactly very high but I can honestly admit I'm more attractive than her. Even H said I was more attractive than her during their A but he said it wasn't her appearance he was attracted to, it was her personality and how she paid attention to him, blah! She has a tatoo, I don't, they just aren't for me. She is very outgoing and very flirtacious, and likes to be the center of attention. I'm shy around ppl I don't know but do come out of my shell if I know ppl more. She is into sports, and plays a lot, like H, but I'm not into sports at all. The only thing the exOW and I have in common is horses and use to talk about them b4 I found out about their A. B4 the A H even thought we would be good friends, HA HA! I could of been her friend, if she didn't persue my H that is. I think most MMs fool themselves to think that W and OW can be friends. sick. My xMM thought highly of his W (still does... I suppose because he's home now) but pointed out her flaws and what his family thought of her. I don't think she's a bad person. I'm sure she's very nice, but no woman would want to be friends with someone who has the potential to put a wedge between a H and his W. Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I think after the affair is found out..... NO ONE...not the MM and the mistress, nor the mistress and the W should be friends. There should be a separation from the OW forever if the marriage is to work. At least in my humble opinion.... Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I think after the affair is found out..... NO ONE...not the MM and the mistress, nor the mistress and the W should be friends. There should be a separation from the OW forever if the marriage is to work. At least in my humble opinion.... I totally... absolutely agree with you 100%!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 WA... Zara.... EXACTLY! *Awe what the h*ll, let's have a threesome* Sorry, a bit buzzed on suds! *laughing* Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 WA... Zara.... EXACTLY! *Awe what the h*ll, let's have a threesome* Sorry, a bit buzzed on suds! *laughing* Aw... I wish I swung for the other team sometimes.... Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Zara... Having an A I'm getting a little scared myself that anything is possible! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH *laughing* *clink* Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Zara... Having an A I'm getting a little scared myself that anything is possible! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH *laughing* *clink* LOL... sniff! I'm laughing so hard right now!! You're killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Zara.... Me Too! My stomach hurts and the tears from laughing are killing me! *Here! have a paralyzer* Better yet, hop a plane! We're neighbors! *clink* Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I gotta tell ya..... If being with a woman would do it for me... I'd be the luckiest woman on this earth!!! Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 I gotta tell ya..... If being with a woman would do it for me... I'd be the luckiest woman on this earth!!! WA, I am thinking the same as you!!!! Wooohoo! After this whole mess with a broken heart - first time at the age of 33, mind you - I am considering having a relationship with a woman and call it quits! Women have all the qualities I like. Men, on the other hand, are usually lacking in one department or another. They never come as a complete package! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 The first time I suffered a broken heart was two years ago at the age of 39. I thought I would die for I had never been rejected before. Ouch! You are right. There are very few men who are the complete package, but there are TONS of women who are. Just look at all of us.... Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 The first time I suffered a broken heart was two years ago at the age of 39. I thought I would die for I had never been rejected before. Ouch! You are right. There are very few men who are the complete package, but there are TONS of women who are. Just look at all of us.... Yeah, the rejection really sucks... even when there is a good reason for the rejection. IT litterally felt like my heart broke into a MILLION pieces. I thought I'd rather die. Actually, I still think that sometimes. Crazy, crazy thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
StrivingtoSucceed Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 What the heck, I'm awake and can't sleep, so I'll join in. My best friend (girl) and I have always said that if we could just get past going down "there" then we would be lesbians. Women get other women ... men never will. To the original question - My H's EA started b/c of several reasons however what he got out of it originally was the attention I used to give him, but was unable to at that point in time. New baby, older kids, work, etc. So, I think that he find in OW that which he used to have with me, which is what drew him to her. The fun, the laughter, forgetting reality and living in the moment of the conversation. Relative to looks. Somewhat alike. Although, he felt she "looked rode hard and put away wet" (which when I met her, was true) he had great plans for major changes that she had no idea would have been placed upon her. She would have stopped smoking, grown her hair longer, worn different clothes, taken the earring out of her nose, etc., etc. I was angry for her! And, of course, H couldn't understand why I could possibly be angry for her. (You know, the men never will get women thing.) Personality-wise I assume we were about the same ... he was drawn to her b/c she listened to him and made him laugh. Same thing I did that drew him to me. Looks-wise he was planning on changing her to his ideal of what is o.k. to him. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 What the heck, I'm awake and can't sleep, so I'll join in. My best friend (girl) and I have always said that if we could just get past going down "there" then we would be lesbians. Women get other women ... men never will. To the original question - My H's EA started b/c of several reasons however what he got out of it originally was the attention I used to give him, but was unable to at that point in time. New baby, older kids, work, etc. So, I think that he find in OW that which he used to have with me, which is what drew him to her. The fun, the laughter, forgetting reality and living in the moment of the conversation. Relative to looks. Somewhat alike. Although, he felt she "looked rode hard and put away wet" (which when I met her, was true) he had great plans for major changes that she had no idea would have been placed upon her. She would have stopped smoking, grown her hair longer, worn different clothes, taken the earring out of her nose, etc., etc. I was angry for her! And, of course, H couldn't understand why I could possibly be angry for her. (You know, the men never will get women thing.) Personality-wise I assume we were about the same ... he was drawn to her b/c she listened to him and made him laugh. Same thing I did that drew him to me. Looks-wise he was planning on changing her to his ideal of what is o.k. to him. Well, trying to change someone's look to his ideal is just a little sick in my book. I mean no offense here. Men! I gotta tell ya girls, after reading that, I truly TRULY wish I swung the other way. Link to post Share on other sites
StrivingtoSucceed Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 No offense taken ... again, I was angry at him for her. Must have something to do with what every one else has talked about ... women generally stick up for other women. And when we see another woman being subjected to something we find intolerable, we jump right in to defend. BS/OW ... doesn't matter. Well, at least for some of us it doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Must have something to do with what every one else has talked about ... women generally stick up for other women. And when we see another woman being subjected to something we find intolerable, we jump right in to defend. BS/OW ... doesn't matter. Well, at least for some of us it doesn't matter. I agree with you. I tend to stick up for women. I have a sisterly feeling for all women. I don't know why. Sometimes, I suspect that I am a lesbian. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I think after the affair is found out..... NO ONE...not the MM and the mistress, nor the mistress and the W should be friends. There should be a separation from the OW forever if the marriage is to work. At least in my humble opinion.... I totally agree, 110% H wanted to be friends w/ the ex-OW for work related issues. I told him NO WAY. If the M was going to work, he had to break all friendship contact w/ her. I can see how he wanted it to be peaceful at work, but you don't need to be friends w/ someone just b/c you work w/ them. There is plenty of ppl who work w/ eachother that can't stand one another. Link to post Share on other sites
fisher-man Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 My wife and OW were not similar in reality. The problem was that my communication with the OW was almost all via email. During the course of the relationship I began to think of her as a person who was similar to my wife. When I met the real person (again) I couldn't pretend anymore. That was the beginning of the end, but unfortunately I handled that just as poorly. From start to end, everything I did was terrible for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts