sullen_girl Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 A few weeks ago, I posted about a guy I went out with, went too far with, and then who kinda ditched me. Well, we have been talking, and kinda staying friends, but he never really told me why it wasn't something more. Yesterday, after not talking to him for a few days, but also after setting a tentative date to go out to dinner with him in the future, I recieved an email from a girl describing herself as his girlfriend. (it was also sent to him) She said that she had heard about me from him, and was not too happy about what we had been doing. She also said that they have a very "open" relationship- she is allowed to see guys and do whatever she wants as long as he tells her, and vice versa. Just no serious relationships. She says that she can't tell me to not be his friend, but she doesn't want me being anymore. I freaked out...I wanted to do something horrible to him. But, I calmed down after talking to some friends and called him. I caught him on his cell just as he was about to get on his plane to go to away for his first fall break. After I kinda yelled at him for a while, he did apologise, and explained to me that he had intended to tell me when we went to dinner, face to face. And that he hadn't told me before because it was a hard thing to tell someone ona first or second date. We said a lot more, but this is what got me- he said I reminded him of the girlfriend (who has been across the country from him for a year-they haven't seen each other. also, she has exercised her "right" to sleep with another guy.)He said that he would like a companion, someone close by. He said he liked me a lot, but understood if I never wanted to see him again. He had to board his plane, and I just said goodbye. I cried after we got off the phone. A lot. I don't cry over guys...I just don't... So, here I am stuck trying to figure out what exactly is going on. He must have said something to his "girlfriend" that spooked her....she never had a problem with the "open" relationship before this. I like him a lot, and I know he is treating me like crap right now, but I can understand why. I want to see him again...I want a relationship with him. But, he would have to end it with her first. He is very angry at her for emailing me out of the blue like that. What do I do? I know I should have just walked away from this long ago, but something is keeping me in it. Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 Forget about him. Forget about him. Forget about him. Forget about him. Forget about him. If this guy was the least bit interested in you, he would have called you himself and explained everything without you having to ask. It doesn't matter what he said or how you understand his situation. People are VERY good at bs'ing and saying stuff that sounds really good just to get someone off their back. This guy has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter if they have an open relationship or not. It doesn't matter what he told her. It does not matter what he tells you. What matters is that, if he really wanted to be with you, he would be talking to you, he wouldn't have a girlfriend, and he wouldn't be talking to her. And if he was such a great guy to want to be with, he wouldn't be messing around with someone while he had a girlfriend. There are many single guys out there. Forget about him!! Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 I absolutely agree with all that Sparkle says, and just add this: how did she get your full name & email address -- unless he provided the info? Sounds like a real, dyed-in-the-wool jerk. If I were you I would cease having anything at all to do with this guy -- no matter what he says or does. Link to post Share on other sites
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