Chick is keeping her Options open. How do I get her?

[tranceaddict]

This chick i am interested in is keeping her options open, basically she is meeting heaps of guys etc..

 

now today i met her, and as part of our conversation i told her i went to a gay bar.. she was surprised by this and i told her i am not leaning that way and she said "ok just checking" .. also few weeks ago she asked me if i had a gf and i asked her if she had a bf and she said she was looking for one..

 

so what do i do? I swear she gets jealous when she sees me paying more attention to her female friends too.. like she always has to focus on the chick i am talking too as well , even though there are another 2 people she could be talking to..

 

 

so what can i do to go out with her??? i think she is delaying a potential me going out with her so she can do some more fishing for guys, and if that doesn't work fall back on me...

 

help

[JayKay]

You don't want to be somebody's back up plan, right?

 

So don't wait around and pine for her. She wants to be out sowing her wild oats....that's what you should do too.

 

Just because she gets 'jealous' when you're with other girls doesn't mean she wants YOU; she's just in competition with the other girls for a guy's attention. Don't confuse that for her having feelings for you.

 

Some girls just thrive on lots of attention from lots of guys. That is something she will have to work out of her system.

 

I have a friend like that; she is very beautiful and in her twenties there was NO WAY she was going to settle down with one person. She'd occasionally date 'seriously' but it never lasted long.

 

Don't fight it. Live your life and enjoy yourself.

[tranceaddict]

this site sucks

22 views 0 responses

[Admiral Thrawn]

Hi there. If this is the same chick as the one you are talking about on the MSN, then I would have to suggest you just chill out on her, and keep your options open as well and start pursuing and flirting with other girls.

 

Women are funny sometimes, if you want them, or are always available to them, then they feel they have you and may take you for granted. If they know they may really lose you, then they will start behaving better.

 

Anyway, your chicks sounds like what would be called a 'fly by night' type of girl, and probalby wont settle with anyone unless someone takes her off her feet. I'm not sure you can even have a stable relationship with her, as she may still continue looking around, and dump you as soon as a better guy comes along.

 

I'm sorry you feel you have not got many responses, but these are hard facts. You need to find a more serious girl who is more into you, or you just have to put this one into more perspective. Take whatever you can. She is talking with you, great. She is going out some places with you -- which you will call 'hanging out with her and chilling' great - do that. Just focus on having fun and dont worry about having her.

[Curmudgeon]

Here's a response for you. You might want to start my stopping referring to her as a "chick." That's demeaning and sexist which may be one of your problems. Impatience seems to be another. There may be more.

[Admiral Thrawn]

Here's a response for you. You might want to start my stopping referring to her as a "chick." That's demeaning and sexist which may be one of your problems. Impatience seems to be another. There may be more.

 

I would like to stand up for this poster as I identify with him, and think he is genuinely looking for advice rather than people judging him or giving lectures.

 

This guy wants to get to the bottom of something while this girl is keeping him in the air. It's obvious she is not into him. Our friend best not wait with false hope where he could be dissapointed down the road. His best bet is to find someone else who is more into him than she is, or just put it into perspective.

[Curmudgeon]

I would agree but I also think a change in attitude and approach would be a good place to start.

[aleatoryd]

Women are like buses you wait for ages and then when you finally see one the whole roads a convoy! No offence to women LOL! What I'm saying is if they have you hooked then they aren't bothered in you. If you are suddenly in danger of entering into a relationship with other girls they suddenly get angry. I think it also has a lot to do with how us guys act around them - signs and signals that we give off. If a guy is in a relationship for example and then goes out the girls tend to hit on him like they sense they can't get him but still they try.

 

It's a game where if you come on too strong they freak out or decide you are too easy. If you are passive and don't do anything they get bored. You have to balance being interested and interesting (very important) with being too much a friend - i.e. they "friend zone" you. It's a fine line between the two. Show too much or not enough interest at the wrong time and it's all over.

 

I'd be wary of this girl. If you really don't know then ask her out for a date and see whether she accepts. Also check out the forum on "when a woman's into you" body posture but remember they can fake it.

[TeaCooler]

yeah, i don't see how wanting to flirt with her friends is helping at all. i wouldn't want to be with you either. why is it so important that you talk to her friends alone? don't you think it's possible that maybe she's gravitating toward the ones you're talking to because she wants to be around you?

 

oh, and on the other hand, when a girl says she's keeping her options open, it sometimes means she really isn't interested (but still likes you being interested in her) or that you are just next in line when the last one doesn't work out.