Just wondering...

[Guest]

I was just starting a new relationship when me and a girlfriend of mine went on vacation to visit one of her guy friends. He had some friends that were in a band and I ended up going down one guys pants one night with my hand. He didn't do anything to me and that was the end of it. We also kissed earlier that night. He had a girlfriend also. I felt horrible since I just started a relationship(practically only a week into) with my guy when this happened. So anyways. We carried on with our relationship and lasted about a year and a half, ending because of several other issues. Went our separate ways and now a year and a half later we are back together. I guess I still feel bad about what happened and want to tell him, but at the same time I see it as pointless to bring up since it happened sooo long ago. I did tell him I kissed the guy on the cheek, but that was it. Another thing I'm concerned about is my ex friend(the friend I went on vacation with). We are no longer friends due to her psycho ways, but I have this thought in my head that what if she somehow mentions this to him. It's really an unlikely situation since she isn't friends with anyone remotely close to the same chain of friends and the chances of her ever running into him and remembering to mention this to him in the spur of the moment seems highly unlikely too. I think I only want to tell him out of guilt and to make myself feel better which has been said that its not a good idea to tell the other person then since its just to get rid those feelings for yourself and not for the other person and if this was only a one time thing which it was. I never cheated on my bf in any way shape or form since that time...even up to today. I just see it as having no point in telling him now because all its going to do is hurt him and relieve me of the guilt which shouldn't be the case. So then I guess the question is how do I rid myself of this guilt or worry that he's going to find out? I would rather him hear it from me than from someone else but at the same time he will probably never find out. The only ones who know are me and my friend I went with(and obviously the guys we met up with) and then there's my best friend now, but she would definitely never say anything. So what do I do? Just deal with this lingering thought about what I did and keep it to myself? I just don't know why I'm thinking about this now after so many years and it's not like I had sex with him. It was almost like he used me to jack off...as sad as that sounds. I got no satisfaction from what we did...it was all on him. But that's still not good. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.