Another Love but not IN Love Story

[Ladyjane14]

He's not spreading gossip- it's the truth.

 

If the neighbors choose to use the truth as fodder for wagging tongues.... hey, that's their choice. He shouldn't be required to lie to people in order to cover for his wife.

 

There's no point in hiding the truth anyway. It only helps a WS to evade the reality of their situation. It's not like she could abandon hearth and home, move in with the neighbor guy across the street.... and nobody would notice.

 

She's being given an opportunity here, a chance to look her other neighbors in the eye and guage their reactions. She can 'try on' that role before she commits herself to it.

[iron_m]

I'm beginning to think marriage should be based upon a five year re-newable contract ~ since that what it seems to have been reduced to anyway.

 

can I use this in my signature? (aknowledging the source, of course)

[Gunny376]

can I use this in my signature? (aknowledging the source, of course)

 

 

By all means!

[DesperateDad]

Looks like your holding your own now DD and not being so wishy washy anymore, thats good. Either way this turns out I believe you will be permanently soured like Gunny and me .

 

I'm definitely changed by this whole thing, mostly for the better, I hope, but I admit to feeling some bitterness and resentment that I'm trying to come to grips with. It's probably too soon to deal with these feelings.

 

I always wondered why some guys end up being old hermits that live out in the woods in a cabin by themselves (or with a dog).. but I have to admit the lifestyle looks more and more appealing the more crap I go through.

 

Oh, and I thouroughly recommend this video by the way..

 

That's been an old fantasy of mine, especially when life has gotten tough. I don't know why things always have seemed so impossible. The world sometimes seems so crazy to me that I just want to opt out.

 

I realize now that I don't want to be alone, but I do want a life that's different from the one I'm living now. I need a slower pace and less stress. I'm tired of trying to chase the buck and keep up with the Joneses. I've spent years always trying to make more money to give her a better lifestyle that she wants and believes she deserves. If that's what the wife requires, then she'll have to find somebody else to do it.

[DesperateDad]

It's a contingency plan anyway. With any luck, you'll never need it. But having it in place, ready to go at a moment's notice, gives you the freedom to look her in the eye when she's flapping her gums, and tell her not to let the door slap her ass on the way out.

 

She's not a prisoner. She's free to go. She's just not free to screw up YOUR life along with her own.

 

At some point, you've got to call the other guy's bluff, right? And while that might not be today... it never hurts to be ready.

 

LJ, I'm not sure how to do all this. She insists on not leaving the kids. I've already told her if she must go, then go. She says the kids are hers and need her more than me and that if she decides to go, she's taking them with her. I think at this point it's an idle threat, but how can I stop this from happening?

[DesperateDad]

Another insight I had driving home from work the other day. This thing my wife's going through is all about her not feeling good about herself. It's about her feeling, old, fat and ugly.

 

Apparently, I haven't done a very good job of reassuring her that I still find her attractive and interesting. Yes, I'm owning up to not being attentive enough, but that's not to say that I never gave her flowers or told her she was beautiful. I did show her affection on a daily basis, but she's told me she doesn't believe it when it's coming from me. She's said this for a long time.

 

At the same time, rather than address these issues with me, she chose to find some desperate schmuck who'd made a mess of his own marriage who tells her anything she wants to hear. He thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread and she can't get enough of it.

 

Incidentally, he's made himself pretty scarce for the last week or so, at least when I'm around. I still don't know what if anything is going on between the two, but I'm finding it hard to care. I'm trying to get myself squared away and get my ducks in a row for the next step, should it come to it.

[iron_m]

Another insight I had driving home from work the other day. This thing my wife's going through is all about her not feeling good about herself. It's about her feeling, old, fat and ugly.

 

Apparently, I haven't done a very good job of reassuring her that I still find her attractive and interesting. Yes, I'm owning up to not being attentive enough, but that's not to say that I never gave her flowers or told her she was beautiful. I did show her affection on a daily basis, but she's told me she doesn't believe it when it's coming from me. She's said this for a long time.

OK, so here is the translation:

1) If you don't say anything, then you are not attentive enough

2) If you compliment her, then you are sincere.

3) this OM appears from nowhere and flatters her and he is the most wondeful man in the world.

 

 

At the same time, rather than address these issues with me, she chose to find some desperate schmuck who'd made a mess of his own marriage who tells her anything she wants to hear. He thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread and she can't get enough of it.

There is where you hit the nail right in the head. You may have not been the best husband. Actually this process is helping you to realize of what could you have done better.

BUT the key point here is that she CHOSE to discuss that with OM and not with you.

[dgiirl]

that's not to say that I never gave her flowers or told her she was beautiful. I did show her affection on a daily basis, but she's told me she doesn't believe it when it's coming from me. She's said this for a long time.

 

DD, wow! In 8 years of being with my ex, I never received a single flower (dead or alive), and I received two necklaces. 1 when we first started dating which he made. The 2nd after I had to cry because I was sad that i had absolutely no jewlery (he would discourage me from buying girly things) and was ashamed to go to a wedding. I NEVER knew how my ex felt about me. He never ever told me i was pretty. In fact, he'd make small passive aggressive comments about how bad I looked. He called me a hippy or he'd say I was unfit, etc. Not to mention him saying I was selfish the first time I bought lingerie for his birthday. I dont recall him ever reaching out to hold my hand or give me a hug unless I initiated it. When we were out in public, he would go his own merry way, never even considered if there would be enough space for me to sit next to him, etc.

 

The only advice I can think of is when you are giving out compliments to her, make it spontaneous. Dont use the same words all the time. Maybe once in a while, stop her in her tracks, tell her to look you in the eyes, and then tell her how beautiful you think she is. I think the compliments have just become routine and predictable with her, so it's lost their meaning. Now this new guy gives her a compliment, it means more because it's not something she's expecting.

 

And guys, please dont become bitter! I'm really trying not to become bitter or jaded too. But I realize this only hurts ME. It doesnt hurt the ex who deserves it. It might hurt the new ones in our lives. But most of all, it hurts us from moving on and having a happy successful life. Our ex's are asshats. Doesnt mean we should lose all the good in ourselves.

[Gunny376]

Another insight I had driving home from work the other day. This thing my wife's going through is all about her not feeling good about herself. It's about her feeling, old, fat and ugly.

 

Apparently, I haven't done a very good job of reassuring her that I still find her attractive and interesting. Yes, I'm owning up to not being attentive enough, but that's not to say that I never gave her flowers or told her she was beautiful. I did show her affection on a daily basis, but she's told me she doesn't believe it when it's coming from me. She's said this for a long time.

 

At the same time, rather than address these issues with me, she chose to find some desperate schmuck who'd made a mess of his own marriage who tells her anything she wants to hear. He thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread and she can't get enough of it.

 

Incidentally, he's made himself pretty scarce for the last week or so, at least when I'm around. I still don't know what if anything is going on between the two, but I'm finding it hard to care. I'm trying to get myself squared away and get my ducks in a row for the next step, should it come to it.

 

Sorry, Dude! I thought we've covered this already?

 

Yea! Its almost always about their need to fulfill some void in their self esteem, self worth. And, its all your fault that they're not happy, because God put you here on this planet to take care of, and make Her Highness happy ~ didn't you know that? That's the sole reason for your exsistence, the only reason for your living! Your happiness is secondary ~ resistance is futile!

 

Sometimes in life you've just got to say "What tha' F**k!" and just go for yourself.

[Gunny376]

DD, wow! In 8 years of being with my ex, I never received a single flower (dead or alive) , and I received two necklaces. 1 when we first started dating which he made. The 2nd after I had to cry because I was sad that i had absolutely no jewlery (he would discourage me from buying girly things) and was ashamed to go to a wedding. I NEVER knew how my ex felt about me. He never ever told me i was pretty:mad: . In fact, he'd make small passive aggressive comments about how bad I looked. He called me a hippy or he'd say I was unfit, etc. Not to mention him saying I was selfish the first time I bought lingerie for his birthday:mad: . I dont recall him ever reaching out to hold my hand or give me a hug unless I initiated it. When we were out in public, he would go his own merry way:mad: , never even considered if there would be enough space for me to sit next to him:mad: , etc.

 

Then you're most assurdly better off with out him! Hmmmmm ~ this for me gives a whole new definition to been emotionally un-avaliable.

 

Next time you hear from him, tell him Gunny376 says "Thanks!" a**h***s like this make my job so much easier to sweep women off their feet, and have them ask ~ "Where have YOU been all my life!"

 

And, in case your wondering ~ I've been studying, reading, and learning since the day the XW walked out. Still doing it today.

 

And, your right about not become bitter ~ we've had to go through what we've been through to get to where we're going. How can you appreciate what your looking for when you find it ~ unless you have something or someone to compare it to. How can you appreciate a diamond ~ (even one in the rough) ~ unless you know what a chunk of coal looks like?

 

A life alternating experience ~ such as this ~ only makes you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, take a survey ~ inventory, make the necessary adjustments, adpat and over come and become the person that you were meant to be ~ to live the life you were meant to live. Anything that doesn't kill you ~ always makes you a better person. Any plane or train wreck you can walk away ~ is a good one.

 

You don't become a weaker person ~ you become a better one. You don't become a lesser person ~ you become a stronger one.

 

Now! Get out there and get your azz back in that game caled LIFE~!

 

Either get busy living ~ or get busy dying!

 

Its time for ALL of us to catch the bus to Mexico ~ and get busy living ~ and living it large! Laugh, smile, even if you don't feel like ~ listen to Rock and Roll, and dance like you just don't care!

 

And, I speaking to all of you!

[Ladyjane14]

LJ, I'm not sure how to do all this. She insists on not leaving the kids. I've already told her if she must go, then go. She says the kids are hers and need her more than me and that if she decides to go, she's taking them with her. I think at this point it's an idle threat, but how can I stop this from happening?

 

You probably can't stop her from taking them with her. By the same token, she probably couldn't stop YOU from doing the same. This is something you need to discuss with the attorney. Sometimes it's necessary to file for separation or divorce and then a motion for temporary custody.

 

Most of the time you can't MAKE the other person leave either. Unless she's been violent with you... in which case you could get an RO and ask that she be removed from the home.

 

I'm no lawyer, but just in talking to people it seems that most often a temporary custody order will stay in place unless there's a REASON to change it.... at least, until the settlement is finalized. By remaining in the family home, you're making it very difficult for her to achieve and maintain temporay custody.

 

Say she decides to file first, asks for and receives temporary custody.... well here you are, able to provide a REASON to the judge why the kids should be returned to you. "It's in the kids best interest to be sleeping in their own beds at night, and living within the community they've become accustomed to. It's good for them to be in familiar territory, playing with their friends, and going to their usual schools." You can usually support that with documentation from a child psychologist.

 

Let's face it. It would be EASY for you to leave and send money. Without all the headaches and stress of fighting an uphill daily fight with her.... you'd probably be a happier man, at least for awhile. But in the end, you'd miss your home and your kids. So, you hold onto what's important..... your home and your kids.

 

Don't forget.....she WANTS to make you change your mind about that. She's not going to make it easy for you to stay. Don't play into her hands right now. This is a temporary situation. Eventually, she'll either choose to reconcile the marriage, or pursue divorce. Right now, she's playing a waiting game with you in the hopes that she can wear you down and make you leave. But if you're patient.... she'll get tired before you do, and then she'll make her move.

 

Observing nonchallance on your part is going to make her lose patience faster. That's why you incorporated the 180's into your Plan A. Actually.... I think it's time for you to take up GOLF.

[Ladyjane14]

In 8 years of being with my ex, I never received a single flower (dead or alive), and I received two necklaces. 1 when we first started dating which he made. The 2nd after I had to cry because I was sad that i had absolutely no jewlery (he would discourage me from buying girly things) and was ashamed to go to a wedding. I NEVER knew how my ex felt about me. He never ever told me i was pretty. In fact, he'd make small passive aggressive comments about how bad I looked. He called me a hippy or he'd say I was unfit, etc. Not to mention him saying I was selfish the first time I bought lingerie for his birthday. I dont recall him ever reaching out to hold my hand or give me a hug unless I initiated it. When we were out in public, he would go his own merry way, never even considered if there would be enough space for me to sit next to him, etc.

 

You should print that out, Dgiirl. And every time you're feeling sorry for him, or sad that he's gone.... you can read it again and realize that you didn't lose a thing but 180 pounds of dead weight!

[Gunny376]

You should print that out, Dgiirl. And every time you're feeling sorry for him, or sad that he's gone.... you can read it again and realize that you didn't lose a thing but 180 pounds of dead weight!

 

 

The only way I can figure it LJ, is that you must be pretty handy with a hammer ~ because you're always hit the nail square on the head!

[Gunny376]

Women get custody of the children in 90% of all divorce cases ~ primarly because men don't contest custody. But, in the 10% of the cases where men do seek custody ~ they're awarded custody 90% of the time.

 

DO NOT LEAVE THE HOME~! If she becomes violent ~ you've got grounds for eviction and RO. DO NOT DO ANYTHING TO ESCALATE TO THAT POINT! Put on your angel wings, and halo.

 

Me? I'd go for custody ~ you might as well. By the time you get through paying bills, child support, etc. the life of Hugh Heifiner you won't be living.

 

And, Oh! In the 10% cases where the husband is awarded custody ~ 90% of the mom's are deadbeats at paying child support.

 

(I wrote a paper on this in college after I retired from the Corps)

[Gunny376]

her necessarly being the better parent. What would happen ~ who would take care of those babies if suddenly you found yourself a widower? You going to call HR, and put the in foster care ~ up for adoption ~ just because you're a man? Of course you wouldn't.

 

She's the one that's wanting to move on to more greener and fertile pastures, of all the things you've got on your mind ~ I seriously doubt finding another girl friend is one of them.

[dgiirl]

You should print that out, Dgiirl. And every time you're feeling sorry for him, or sad that he's gone.... you can read it again and realize that you didn't lose a thing but 180 pounds of dead weight!

 

You are so right LJ. I even thought of that after I posted. It's just hard to keep that in mind when you're depressed, lonely, scared, and pmsing lol

 

Gunny, he totally was emotionally unavailable. I never knew the term until this happened, but it describes him perfectly. He left the relationship a long long long time ago. I was just to blind and scared to acknowledge it.

[Gunny376]

Its not hard to trade up to a newer ~ better model when you're accustomed to driving a piece of crap 73 Ford Maverick held together with bailing wire and duck tape.

 

You're going to have Jaguerer come into your life one day. The best days of your life aren't behind you ~ there in front of you.

 

The storms of life make you appreciate the sunshine. Go out and rub a little sunshine on your face ~ in time ~ with time you'll be fine. Just from time to time ~ don't forget you've got to rub that sunshine on your face. A cloud in the sky doesn't means their always rain ~ a tear in your eye doesn't always mean there's pain. There is such a thing as tears of joy ~ there will soon be days in your life ~ when those are the only tears you will cry.

[Mz. Pixie]

I need a slower pace and less stress. I'm tired of trying to chase the buck and keep up with the Joneses. I've spent years always trying to make more money to give her a better lifestyle that she wants and believes she deserves. If that's what the wife requires, then she'll have to find somebody else to do it.

 

See, here's the thing. This part about her blows my mind. She's unsatisfied by monetary things which is unbelievable to me. There's a guy that posts on marriagebuilders whose poster name is Holdingontoit who has an incredible story about this kind of stuff.

 

I've been poor and done without and I can do so anytime I need to. I've also been pretty flush in my life and I can live with that too. I'd much rather have my husband at home with me than working a ton of hours for what?? Jewelry, clothes and such as that?? I'm not talking about the difference between starvation and being naked- I wouldn't want that of course. But you guys are not in that kind of shape. I want to be able to enjoy life and not alone either. I mean above material things I place honesty, respect, fidelity, sex, etc.

 

My husband is a teacher who coaches and works another job. He's always worked another job because let's face it, teachers don't make much. Our goal is to pay off some debts he had prior to our marriage so that we can buy a bigger house. After that, he's done with a second job.

 

I seriously cannot imagine being unsatisfied that he's "just a teacher" or "just an anything" especially if he loves doing what he does.

 

Who does she think she is demanding all of this????

 

 

And, on the custody thing- is she not the same wife who said that spirits are telling her things???

[DesperateDad]

See, here's the thing. This part about her blows my mind. She's unsatisfied by monetary things which is unbelievable to me. There's a guy that posts on marriagebuilders whose poster name is Holdingontoit who has an incredible story about this kind of stuff.

 

I've been poor and done without and I can do so anytime I need to. I've also been pretty flush in my life and I can live with that too. I'd much rather have my husband at home with me than working a ton of hours for what?? Jewelry, clothes and such as that?? I'm not talking about the difference between starvation and being naked- I wouldn't want that of course. But you guys are not in that kind of shape. I want to be able to enjoy life and not alone either. I mean above material things I place honesty, respect, fidelity, sex, etc.

 

My husband is a teacher who coaches and works another job. He's always worked another job because let's face it, teachers don't make much. Our goal is to pay off some debts he had prior to our marriage so that we can buy a bigger house. After that, he's done with a second job.

 

I seriously cannot imagine being unsatisfied that he's "just a teacher" or "just an anything" especially if he loves doing what he does.

 

Who does she think she is demanding all of this????

 

And, on the custody thing- is she not the same wife who said that spirits are telling her things???

 

Thanks, Mz. P. I realized after thinking about it a lot lately that it's really nice having a big house in a nice neighborhood, but if I don't have enough money to pay the bills, what's the use? I would rather live modestly and be able to take the kids on a vacation every year. It's been about five years since we went on a real family vacation.

 

There's no rule that says everything in life has to be perfect. I grew up in a pretty modest home without a dime to spare on frivolities. This was the norm for me and doesn't really bother me. I had a great childhood and a loving home regardless.

 

It just seems to me that there is a lot of upside to downsizing. I think Gunny has addressed this earlier and it makes a lot of sense. It at least takes that pressure off. Life is tough enough without money troubles.

 

About the seeing things bit. I think it's mostly a game to her, another escape from reality that makes her life look less mundane to her. She gets to hang around with people with money and some local celebrities who believe all this mumbo jumbo.

 

Last night she went to another class and I googled the guy's name. Guess what? He's a friggin' pet psychic! Is that too funny, or what? Someday she's going to look back and wonder what the hell she was thinking. I'm starting to believe the whole marriagebuilders thing about the spouse captured by aliens...

[Gunny376]

The plan was to get out go to college on the GI Bill ~ then off to Law School.

 

Instead I ended up with a job working 2nd shift in a lab. Low stress, no stress. I like the people that I work with, and the people that I work for. I like the job, the work, and the enviornmente for the most part, (although there is one guy down at the plant the PMO, but he's an idiot so I try to make allowances ~ he can't help himself) I might actually work most days ~ 4,5 hours of eight. The rest of the time I'm watching cabel TV, listening to XM radio, reading, whatever.

 

I'm not making a killing, but I'm making more money than I ever made in my life ~ back when I had a SAHW, and three chldren. I've got what I need, and most of what I want.

 

Compared that to being so stressed out that I would lay in bed with chest pains and knots growing on my forehead. Contrast that to my older step brother who DID go to law school in his early thirties. He's up at 4:30 and on a good nite he's home to catch the 10 o'clock news. Doesn't have any money, in debt to his eyeballs, (his student loan and law loans alone are over $1000 a month.) His life is managing cash flow ~ and if that river ever dries up for whatever reason ~ he's done for. He'll go under with inside of three months.

 

The guy that I work for is 68, was a self made millionaire by the time he was thirty. Biggest drunk I've ever meet, and miserable as hell, on his fourth marriage. His kids are out there ~ for real.

 

Trying to live this sucessful life is killing us, man! I'm out of the rat race ~ and just chillin' on the side of the road.

 

Pet psych? ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Yea! That's the ticket! LOL! :lmao: :lmao:

[Mz. Pixie]

Oh pleeeaaasssseee local celebrities???

 

I'm related to a huge celebrity and he puts his pants on just like everyone else- one leg at a time. I seriously just don't get "star struck".

 

Make sure you're keeping notes about all of these activities in a journal. SERIOUSLY.

 

For the record, we're not exactly upsizing. We have three bedrooms but we need four and a gameroom. We'd be moving closer to the city and the prices would actually be less for more sq footage where we want to go. That's because our home now is new (5 years old) and we'd be buying one that's probably 25 years or more old. It would be an increase in price but not like buying the same size house in our area.

[Sup]

DD, wow! In 8 years of being with my ex, I never received a single flower (dead or alive), and I received two necklaces. 1 when we first started dating which he made. The 2nd after I had to cry because I was sad that i had absolutely no jewlery (he would discourage me from buying girly things) and was ashamed to go to a wedding. I NEVER knew how my ex felt about me. He never ever told me i was pretty. In fact, he'd make small passive aggressive comments about how bad I looked. He called me a hippy or he'd say I was unfit, etc. Not to mention him saying I was selfish the first time I bought lingerie for his birthday. I dont recall him ever reaching out to hold my hand or give me a hug unless I initiated it. When we were out in public, he would go his own merry way, never even considered if there would be enough space for me to sit next to him, etc.

 

The only advice I can think of is when you are giving out compliments to her, make it spontaneous. Dont use the same words all the time. Maybe once in a while, stop her in her tracks, tell her to look you in the eyes, and then tell her how beautiful you think she is. I think the compliments have just become routine and predictable with her, so it's lost their meaning. Now this new guy gives her a compliment, it means more because it's not something she's expecting.

 

And guys, please dont become bitter! I'm really trying not to become bitter or jaded too. But I realize this only hurts ME. It doesnt hurt the ex who deserves it. It might hurt the new ones in our lives. But most of all, it hurts us from moving on and having a happy successful life. Our ex's are asshats. Doesnt mean we should lose all the good in ourselves.

 

:bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny:

It's not much, but it's all we can do.

[Gunny376]

I'm related to a huge celebrity and he puts his pants on just like everyone else- one leg at a time. I seriously just don't get "star struck".

 

And here I thought I was just weird in thinking, "Yea! So! You're going to end up in a 3'X6'X6' hole in the ground just like me ~ if we're lucky!"

 

Find a cure for AIDS, cancer, end war and hunger ~ that I might be impressed with.

 

Help me bury a body ~ that might be impressive ~ bring a pickup, shovel, and a flashlight ~ that would be very impressive ~ indeed!

[Gunny376]

I'm sitting here kickin' back on some premimum Scotch, and smoking up the place with a $10 stoggie, listening to some rock and roll on Sirius radio ~ and I's get to thinkin' to myself.

 

What you should do is call this yoga buba that's instructing the WW, and got this pet pysch gig on the side. Get him over to the house and pay him to have a couple of one on one's with Fiddo, and the OM's dog, cat, whatever ~ and finally get to the low-down on all of this.

 

I'm not busting on you Bro, but Man you've got to be walking around lost, dazed, and confused with all of this just saying WTF over and over. I know I did when I was going through it.

 

If this thing does go South, and you end up going through the Big "D" the judge has got to be like ~ "WTF?"

 

Of course you don't have to share ~ but I'm curious what your attorney had to say about all of this?

 

I know you're trying to hang for the children, your wife that was (this s*** only being going down for a couple of months) that was, the good times that you had, the woman that you married, the marriage that you had, and can still have ~ but Man this has got to be some rough stuff.

 

And, to be honest with you, I would have done anything to have saved my marriage ~ but now that I'm on the otherside of it ~ I don't put up with too much from women ~ I'm up front and honest and I expect her to be.

 

My heart goes out to you Bro ~ and I say that Vet to Vet, man to man. What you're going through, dealing with, it ain't pretty and it ain't fun. And, to be honest with you, my hat's off to you! You're a better man than I to go through this as far as you have.

 

Its easy for CTA and I to talk s***, but we're not the one's tucking those babies into bed everynight ~ and I know what that's all about.

[DesperateDad]

I'm sitting here kickin' back on some premimum Scotch, and smoking up the place with a $10 stoggie, listening to some rock and roll on Sirius radio ~ and I's get to thinkin' to myself.

 

Aaah, Gunny. One of my favorite pastimes. Oddly enough, this is what I used to do with the neighbor guy while he was falling in love with my wife! LOL. I'm cool with enjoying it by myself, though!

 

What you should do is call this yoga buba that's instructing the WW, and got this pet pysch gig on the side. Get him over to the house and pay him to have a couple of one on one's with Fiddo, and the OM's dog, cat, whatever ~ and finally get to the low-down on all of this.

 

That's TOO funny! Only a whack-job like that could make sense of this situation!

 

I'm not busting on you Bro, but Man you've got to be walking around lost, dazed, and confused with all of this just saying WTF over and over. I know I did when I was going through it.

 

If this thing does go South, and you end up going through the Big "D" the judge has got to be like ~ "WTF?"

 

Of course you don't have to share ~ but I'm curious what your attorney had to say about all of this?

 

He thinks she's gone nuts. He also seems pretty certain I can get more than minimal custody, maybe even half. That's really what I want if we do split. I really don't think she's a bad mother, she's been a pretty damn good wife and mother for a long time. Makes this whole thing even more strange...

 

I know you're trying to hang for the children, your wife that was (this s*** only being going down for a couple of months) that was, the good times that you had, the woman that you married, the marriage that you had, and can still have ~ but Man this has got to be some rough stuff.

 

And, to be honest with you, I would have done anything to have saved my marriage ~ but now that I'm on the otherside of it ~ I don't put up with too much from women ~ I'm up front and honest and I expect her to be.

 

My heart goes out to you Bro ~ and I say that Vet to Vet, man to man. What you're going through, dealing with, it ain't pretty and it ain't fun. And, to be honest with you, my hat's off to you! You're a better man than I to go through this as far as you have.

 

Its easy for CTA and I to talk s***, but we're not the one's tucking those babies into bed everynight ~ and I know what that's all about.

 

Thanks, man. I respect you guys for what you've been through already and I absolutely value everything you've told me and all the support you've given me. I really don't think I could have made it this far and stayed on my feet without your input.

 

Right now, I'm just holding steady, trying to make financial decisions that will keep us solvent and trying to shape up my work life to salvage my job. I want to make a change in careers, but now's definitely not a good time.

 

I just finished the final project to complete the last class for my bachelors degree. This has been a long, long road! I dropped off my papers at school the other day and just kind of walked around in a daze. I really loved it there. I got to be myself, I learned a lot, met a lot of cool, interesting people and felt like things were possible again.

 

I'm finding myself at the biggest crossroads in my life. There do seem to be more possibilities for me now. I'm thinking a lot about how I want to live, what I want to do every day and who I want to do it with. I know that I want less stress, but more passion in what I do and how I live. I'm hoping good things come of this regardless of the final outcome.