Author a--n Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 well if you actually read what I said you'll notice: that even though I disagree with him I don't have a problem with anyones opinions. but talking to me, at my hardest hour ever, in my whole life, like I'm some jerk who cut you off in traffic is just cruel. describing her with him?! do you really thing there isn't enough of this going on in my head?! I want to make it work. I love this girl and these 6 months were the best I had. I don't know if all this will be too much for our love to bear. if it is it will end. but not because it's not fair for me to stay. they might be quieter but some of the people responding (here and at http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=102586&AP=1 ) are corrently with their girlfriends who cheated on them and they're hanging on. because love is above right and wrong Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I love AN deeply. At the end of the day, he’s the only person I want to come home to. He’s the one I want to comfort me, the one I want to comfort. He’s the one I want to make love to, because I do love him. Then why do you feel the need to keep the other man around? Seems you have a wonderful man in your life NOW and you're choosing to 'be' with another man for the sexual and more passionate side of you. You can't have your cake and eat it too. That other man is filling in a need that AN cannot. That is NOT fair to AN. As to seeing Y again; I know it’s only reasonable for AN to ask\demand that I’ll never see him again, but I hope he will not. In my current situation, Y is one of my closest friends and one of the few people I can maintain regular contact with. Cutting him off entirely (not referring to a short term break) will only cause me to be miserable. You still being friends with Y is making AN miserable. It's unfair of you to ask him to allow you to keep a close friendship with Y because he is the one you cheated with! That's just plain cruel and selfish. You can't be friends with Y and have your boyfriend be OK with it. How can he trust that you won't fall into the arms of Y again? Plus, you DO have sexual and emotional feelings for Y, another reason to stay away from him when you're already involved with AN. If you can't decide, then end it with AN and let him get over you so he can be with a woman who will only love him and not be in competition for affection and love. There’s no point to staying together if AN wont trust me again. I’m not saying everything can be corrected in an instance, but at some point, he’ll have to trust me again, or ditch. I can’t promise him that I’ll always love him; we’re both young and we change and I don’t expect him to promise me that either, but I can promise him this, that I will never lie to him again. What are YOU doing to make sure that AN can trust you again? I don't see any action yet. You aren't giving him ANY real reason to stick around, and by saying that "you can't promise you always love him" is really s***ty way of wanting to work things out. Link to post Share on other sites
corwin Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 In a perfect world, AN would never have known, I would have felt better and we would have lived happily ever after, but somehow things bubbled up. A--N... what she wrote above speaks volumes of her character. Her idea of a perfect world is to be able to cheat on you whenever she has an itch that she wants someone else to scratch, as long as you don't find out. I mean... after all.. what you don't know won't hurt you. Right? Look A--N.. those were her words. If you don't believe you should get out based on what we say, then base it on what she says. It's your choice A--N.. but use your head as well as your heart.. please. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=102586&AP=1 ) are corrently with their girlfriends who cheated on them and they're hanging on. because love is above right and wrong You are romancing this too much because your heart is into it and your hurt.. Put this into perspective.. most of those people on that forum that are reconciling from infidelity are married .. Being married is different that your situation.. You have only been seeing her 6 months and she has cheated on you twice.. going on her record and the fact that she doesn't show any remorse for what she did and the fact that if you read her own words she will cheat on you again, then you need to dump her and move on.. once every 3 months means 4 times a year..Trust me on this.. Because she will not remove the guy from her life that she cheated with then she WILL cheat with him again.. in fact I'll bet she still is banging him.. Read Her Own Words...She shows you and your feelings nothing but a lack of respect.. She is telling you she loves you so you won't dump her.. SAVE YOURSELF MORE FUTURE HEARTACHE DUMP HER Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 And she has also said that she may not love you forever. I'm sorry, but if someone actually said that to me, I would be having second thoughts about allowing the relationship to go on. And yes, I am aware of people who are young and dating, the chances of them staying together isn't realistic, but to SAY IT OUTLOUD and mean it, just isn't cool. In every relationship I was in, I never once thought the things your girlfriend is saying. I never ONCE thought, I'm passing time and soon I'll be out of love for this guy and on to the next one. I knew maybe inside me it wasn't going to be forever due to age and life experience, but I did enjoy the times spent together. If you love her and want to give her another chance, do it because you feel she is worth it and ready to put you first. Learn how to trust her again and be happy as a couple. If you are full of fear, worrying if she's going to be cheating on or dumping you because 'that day' might come - You might as well end it now before you're in deeper with her. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
TheSwordfish Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Dump her She cheated on you twice with teh same guy. He must be important for her. She'll act u[pset, but she deserves it. The BITCH! Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 So basically, your girlfriend is going to cheat on you everytime some old guy who smokes and pretends to be wise shows up (because it's the type of guy she's most attracted to)? That'd only be fair if you got to bang the hell out of any blonde with a nice rack and a tight ass who shows up. Fair is fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Cambric Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 You are romancing this too much because your heart is into it and your hurt.. Put this into perspective.. most of those people on that forum that are reconciling from infidelity are married .. Being married is different that your situation.. You have only been seeing her 6 months and she has cheated on you twice.. going on her record and the fact that she doesn't show any remorse for what she did and the fact that if you read her own words she will cheat on you again, then you need to dump her and move on.. once every 3 months means 4 times a year..Trust me on this.. Because she will not remove the guy from her life that she cheated with then she WILL cheat with him again.. in fact I'll bet she still is banging him.. Read Her Own Words...She shows you and your feelings nothing but a lack of respect.. She is telling you she loves you so you won't dump her.. SAVE YOURSELF MORE FUTURE HEARTACHE DUMP HER A--N, when my whole situation happened (see earlier post), I would have read what Art_Critic wrote and thought "not my girl, not in my relationship, things will be different, this won't happen again". But after going through it entirely, I could not have said the above statements any better. It's not what you want to hear, but it's the best solution to your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Y is one of my closest friends and one of the few people I can maintain regular contact with. In more ways than one. Link to post Share on other sites
parentdetective Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 I think if she has cheated on you twice, then despite the pain, you need to let her go..... Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 dump the skank, next. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 This entire thread is insane -- solid advice from west, mental, bryanP, etc. The wanton girlfriend's post essentially discussed how all of these things factored into what was good for HER and generally sounded like the kinds of things a 14 yo girl would say: -desire for attention -low self esteem built up by attention from men -failing to understand that a bad thing no one knows about is still a bad thing. The OP doesn't understand that with someone who has this profile, the only thing she will respect (because it surely isn't the b/f) is getting dumped no questions asked for what she did. She wanted to other dude because he is what she considers the b/f not to be (older, smoker, drinker, etc.= more in control, more of a man). Personally, I cannot see the sense in a man staying with his first g/f when she cheats on him and then wants to hang out with the other guy. Get out of her drama, get out of the romance blog she is writing in her head. This isn't a Lifetime or Oxygen movie -- this is a locker room story that the other guy is telling his mates. If you want to be that guy, so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Mate, I can see what you are saying as simply.... You have low self esteem, you don't think that you will find anyone else, you are afraid to be alone. You have been with this girl for 6 months, im more than sure that you may be confusing love with lust. There is a possibility that she is using you to fulfill her emotional needs and this other guy her sexual needs, as a matter of fact im sure of it. She has cheated on twice, and guess what? Everytime she talks to this other guy shes cheating on you over and over... It may not be in a physical way however they now have history and im more than sure she is cheating in the way of flirting etc. If you really do love her, then let her go, she obviously is not finding what she truly wants in you, that sounds harsh I know, but in my books if she has this kind of behaviour so early on in your relationship its just going to get it worse... As to your girlfriend, shame on you, how would you feel if you were in his shoes... would you let him sleep with some other woman that hes friends with? Improvise, Adapt, Overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I'll say it again: dump the slut Link to post Share on other sites
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