Adriane Posted October 5, 2001 Share Posted October 5, 2001 i met this guy recently and we started going out, he was really good to me. in fact, everything was really good, the sex, the love, the respect....ect. but then, i met another guy and i started falling for him, then we slept together, and i dumped my boyfried for this new guy. once again, things were really good, but now i have met another guy, and like a total slut i slept with him too, do you think it's a bad idea to break up with my boyfriend for this new guy? i mean, is there something wrong with me? how come i'm always dumping these poor guys? does this make me a bad person or a slut? Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 First of all, you need to do some learning about "love and respect." You said that you "recently" met the first guy...that love, sex and respect were good. Honey, love doesn't happen in a week, and you obviously didn't really love or respect him if you were out diddling some other guy while in a relationship with him. As for whether you're a slut, it doesn't matter what anyone here thinks...what matters most is what YOU think of YOURSELF. Does your reputation matter to you? Because if you keep up your sleeping with one guy, then another, while cheating, you're going to develop a really bad reputation, and bad reps can take years to live down/rebuild. In this day and age where there is such an increased awareness of HIV, AIDS, Hepatitis C, Sexually Transmitted Diseases (like Herpes and Genital Warts--these are two that are non-curable, and the most common).....can you explain why you're behaving to irresponsibly? Don't you care about your health and your life? What about the health of the guy your with....what happens if you pick up some disease from the guys who screw around with, then spread it to your b/f? Do you think this isn't possible? What about pregnancy? Do you want to end up as yet another guest on Jerry Springer or Maury Povich, on a show titled "I Don't Know Who the Father of My Baby Is" ??? No form of birth control is 100% effective. What if you got pregnant? Are you mentally and financially able to provide a proper, stable home for a baby, as a single Mom? (should the father of the baby ditch you)....or will you just turn to the nearest abortion clinic and end your unborn child's life all because you care only about yourself? What keeps you cheating and hopping into bed with guy after guy? Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it the 'attention' that you crave? Are you afraid of commitment? Did you have an abusive childhood? (sexual abuse, physical abuse..you don't have to answer this question here if you don't want to).....many adults who endured abuse as children, often grow up being very promiscuous...because they have very unhealthy concepts of love, sex and self worth. If this might be the case for you, I highly recommend that you go and speak with someone.....a counsellor....(at school, on campus, at your local Planned Parenthood Agency).... What age are you? Do you feel good about yourself when you wake up in the morning and realize that you've slept with yet, another guy? Don't you feel guilt for being a cheater? Don't you worry about diseases? Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Adriane Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 Yes, i do feel bad about the things i do, but only *after* i do them. i, honestly, don't know what my problem is. i don't really feel too great about myself when i do these things, it's not like i'm proud of myself when i cheat on my boyfriend, so i don't really inderstand why i act this way. i wish there was some way i could stop. thanks for your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted October 6, 2001 Share Posted October 6, 2001 Well, you can stop these behaviors (cheating, being promiscuous) by making an effort to find out WHY you do these things. We don't do things in life without a good reason. Sometimes finding that reason is not all that easy, though. Sometimes the reasons are deep within ourselves...they may go back to our upbringing, they may go back to our insecurities, they may go back to low self esteem, they may go back to fears of abandonment, so many things. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Any type of counsellor? Are you still in high school? In college? If either of the latter are the case, there should be some kind of guidance-counsellor type person there who can refer you to someone to talk to. And know that confidentiality is ASSURED.... I really encourage you to talk to someone because until you get to the root of why you're doing this, you're going to continue to do so.....and you're going to end up really disliking yourself, and thinking less of yourself, then you'll have low self esteem, (or "lower", if you already have low self esteem now)..... Take good care..and know that nobody here judges you. You're free to talk about this here, and hopefully others will give their advice/opinions/insight. Laurynn :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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