I need to get my soulmate back

[kubic2]

I badly need help in my situation. I found the girl of my dreams a short while ago. Her and I are perfect for each other. Not because I love her but because everyone we know has told us both. Her family loves me and my family loves her. If you know our families, that is like saying you can raise the dead. Anyway I really do love her with all my heart, I would do anything for her, but just recently she downgraded me to her friend even though she said she still really likes me. I just don't know what that means. Her situation is like this, she works two jobs to pay her bills as well as going to school everyday to get her GED. When we started seeing each other, she would call me a hundred times a day and always spent every second she could with me. One day she stopped calling and hanging out. A few days later her friend called me to tell me she wanted to give her ex another chance. I was heartbroken but gave her a cd I made her. She called me back and gave me a dozen roses with one plastic one and said she wanted to be with me until the last one dies (there is an idea for all you love birds out there). So I accepted and things went great for a while. Until last week she started to to it again, she stopped calling and hanging out with me. I got scared she was doing it again so I called her and blew up at her. I realize that wasn't the situation and tried to apologize in any way I know how. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. So she told me she has too much to worry about right now snd she can't have a boyfriend. She also said she didn't want to feel obligated to see me everyday and I have to stop dwelling on my past because every girl before her never wanted to be with me. I am 21 now so that is A LOT of woman. I don't dwell on my past and I don't want her to feel obligated to see me. I just need some advice on how I can mend this situation and possibly get her back because she is like my soulmate. Again any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[tikigods]

I say leave her alone. She has a lot on her plate right now and prehaps she is being honest in saying she just can't handle being with you as well. How long have you been together overall?

[ReluctantRomeo]

I say leave her alone.

 

I'd second that. The trick is to leave her wanting more of you, not less. Give her time and space. Force yourself to only contact her about half as much as she contacts you for the next month at least. In fact, for as long as she doesn't come around.

 

Don't make yourself her puppy dog. Behave calmly and kindly towards her but in a way that says you respect yourself and you have a dynamic life without her and alternative things to do. Find other fun and useful things to do to distract yourself.

 

Realistically, given your age and the situation, I have to tell you that your chances are 50/50 at best. But distance and strength is your best shot - be her puppy dog and you almost certainly blow it.

[kubic2]

we've been together for a couple months which is not long at all, I know this

 

She is the first girl I've ever developed theses feelings for this quickly for.

 

Thats why I would like to get her back because if I do then it will be a long and happy relationship

 

Again I hate to say it but she maybe even the one and if you knew me personally thats like saying I had dinner with god yesterday and actually having dinner with god

[tikigods]

You are making this all about what YOU want what YOU need and not even stopping to think that Maybe just maybe she doesn't want to be with you right now

 

Stop being selfish and let her do what she has to do, if she cares about you as much as you seem to care about her then she might come back, but right now being overbaring and whatnot will only drive her away even more

[Rosalind]

I don't get the "dinner with God" analogy

 

21, and already met your soulmate, huh? well aren't you lucky.

 

But seriously, can't you see how very busy she is right now......

[kubic2]

your all right I know she is very busy and I know I can't be with her all the time like I want to

 

It's just that because of the type of person I am, I love to be there for my friends. I'll do anything to make them happy because if they are happy then so am I.

 

That's how I feel about her. She is under a lot of stress and I want to do anything to help her not be as stresses out.

 

I was in the army and over in Iraq, while I was there my mom passed away from cancer so I know what stress really is.

 

So to me what she is stressed about is nothing to me, like I said I want to be there for her to help her through this time of grief.

 

Oh the dinner with god anology, think about it, it is never gonna happen as long as your alive. I've been telling myself and everyone I knew I would never get married because of my parents marriage and I just never felt like I could spend the rest of my life with the same girl. That's what it meant

 

I am sorry if I offend anyone with that comment.

[Rosalind]

...sorry about your Mom

[kubic2]

so then your all telling me to just wait it out maybe call her once or twice a week and let her do her stuff

 

Thats not a problem it's just I'm not sure what to do after she does all the stuff ahe had to right and had the time to be with me

 

I don't wantto act to needy yet I don't want to act like I've completly moved on

 

What I am saying is how do I bring up getting back together without pissing her off again or should I let her bring it up.

 

Not only that but how do I show her I dont need to see her everyday and I don't dwell on the past

 

more importantly how do I show her I wont blow up at her again because the only reason I did in the first place was because I was scared she was thinking about going back to her ex like she did in the beginning of the relationship.