Anybody never see or hear from an ex again?

[TravelLight]

Or even know what happened to them?

 

Just curious.

[jerbear]

One is married and the other is still seeing that guy. The others are MIA and I do not care.

[tinktronik]

I have no idea where lots of my exs are . I think thats normal.

[Art_Critic]

I have no idea where lots of my exs are . I think thats normal.

 

Same here..

A few I keep in touch with or catch up with on occasion and others I have never heard from again and never think of..

 

 

Who really cares what your ex is doing ?

[Dagny]

They pop up when you least expect it.

 

1st x: popped up after 6 yrs when we happened to be on the same plane to new york together.

 

2nd X: popped up in the same law school together

 

3rd X: popped up on the net after two yrs to say if I were his ethnicity, he would have married me in a heartbeat. Well dude guess thats not happening anytime soon

 

4th X: popped up after 2 yrs to say I was the only girl he ever connected with and could we date again.

 

There was this guy I had a brief connection with. I was telling my girlpals *gossiping about past loves* I would neversee him again. Same day one and a half yr later we run into each other at the same bar.

 

Lessons learnt:

1) they pop up when you least expect it (I travel all over the world and met them in all different places. What a surprise the world can be so small)

2) You don't really care when you see them and you're happy you're not with them anymore.

[Rosalind]

You don't really care when you see them and you're happy you're not with them anymore.

 

*relief*...

[KittenMoon]

My first bf in high school showed up one night in a bar where my best friend, who had introduced us, was hanging out. This was 4-5 years after we dated. Apparently he was super skeazy and had a couple of skanky chicks with him who he started to make out with. He was prob doing it to show off, but when she told me about it all we could do is laugh! It still gets me giggling because it's such a ridiculous image.

[Alexandra]

I presume that's connected to the whole myth of "being close friends with a person one has invested so much emotion in even if the relationship ends".

 

Two maybe three years ago, a lady in her 30s wrote to me asking what techniques are there to bring herself to stay friends with the guy she had just had a break up with. I remember trying hard to ask the right questions in order for both of us to understand why she was just so pent up on this and why it was such a crucial issue. She was adamant she HAD to. No, she didn't know what was so valuable about him as a person, no, she didn't want to still have a chance with him, no, it was NOT "very hard to achieve and often impossible so soon after a break up"! No Suree she had to have it. This friendship with him! And fast. Politely excused myself and said I was unable to help with it, that she should consult a local counselor about it.

 

A year or more later she wrote back to update me. She had managed, kept close, so close in fact that when she got fast pregnant with another man she was in love with she had to take out a restraining order against her once much needed friend now turned stalker whom she heartly despised now.

 

I just wish Cosmo would stop it:mad: For the vast majority of us, ex-es are our "Partners in the PAST" for a reason so whilst sometimes occasionally saying "hello" is unavoidable and even healthy, assuming closure has been attained, we really don't need to have them as "best friends"...

[BBetsy]

okay, but isn't it crazy how the person you once loved, and was the center of your life, could be someone later that you don't even KNOW any more. That always strikes me as really strange, in a bad way. How do you get in bed with someone every night and say how much you love them, and they love you, and then one day you don't even know each other any more. Sad.

[Dagny]

Because the person you loved then might not even be the same person anymore. And you yourself might not be the same person anymore

People change so much

They'll always be part of your past. When I think of them if I do I remember mostly good things.

Just that in the now and reality they really don't factor anymore.

[Yamaha]

I rarely see exes except my last ex who just can't let it go. She still hates me with a passion and won't speak and still gives me the most vile looks ( scares the hell out of me ). I feel sorry for her and wish I could do something to get her past her anger but she wants nothing to do with me except despise me.

 

Oh well. I wish her the best and hope one day she will be happy and let it go.

[Brittanyjean06]

When I get there, I will tell you how long It took for me and my ex to ever talk again

 

It's been 8 months so far, and its probaly a good thing He doesn't talk to me

[TravelLight]

Well I've pretty much let go of our relationship. We were together almost 4 years and have been apart since August.

 

I'm looking forward not back now. After burning my fingers recently by trying to get in contact, this has made in someways adamant in avoiding her. Now that was not the case a short while ago where I would have done anything to see her! It's over, there's nothing that I can do.

 

I still have love for ***** though. Not being particulary religious, I guess I'm trying to fathom out not seeing that person again.

 

In some ways it's about giving her a hug and saying "I hope you'll be OK. Take care".

 

It's strange after all the pain she caused me. But I do hope she's OK.

 

On with my life.

[TravelLight]

They pop up when you least expect it.

 

1st x: popped up after 6 yrs when we happened to be on the same plane to new york together.

 

2nd X: popped up in the same law school together

 

3rd X: popped up on the net after two yrs to say if I were his ethnicity, he would have married me in a heartbeat. Well dude guess thats not happening anytime soon

 

4th X: popped up after 2 yrs to say I was the only girl he ever connected with and could we date again.

 

There was this guy I had a brief connection with. I was telling my girlpals *gossiping about past loves* I would neversee him again. Same day one and a half yr later we run into each other at the same bar.

 

Lessons learnt:

1) they pop up when you least expect it (I travel all over the world and met them in all different places. What a surprise the world can be so small)

2) You don't really care when you see them and you're happy you're not with them anymore.

 

These things do happen.

 

Someone I worked with bought some photos in of a beach party they were at in Australia. One of his colleagues was looking at them and saw himself in the background of one of the shots!

 

I've bumped into people round the other side of the world before. It happens.

 

I think my ex lives just up the road but I never see her. Which is good really because I would have never healed.

[TravelLight]

They pop up when you least expect it.

 

1st x: popped up after 6 yrs when we happened to be on the same plane to new york together.

 

2nd X: popped up in the same law school together

 

3rd X: popped up on the net after two yrs to say if I were his ethnicity, he would have married me in a heartbeat. Well dude guess thats not happening anytime soon

 

4th X: popped up after 2 yrs to say I was the only girl he ever connected with and could we date again.

 

There was this guy I had a brief connection with. I was telling my girlpals *gossiping about past loves* I would neversee him again. Same day one and a half yr later we run into each other at the same bar.

 

Lessons learnt:

1) they pop up when you least expect it (I travel all over the world and met them in all different places. What a surprise the world can be so small)

2) You don't really care when you see them and you're happy you're not with them anymore.

 

These things do happen.

 

Someone I worked with bought some photos in of a beach party they were at in Australia. One of his colleagues was looking at them and saw himself in the background of one of the shots!

 

I've bumped into people round the other side of the world before. It happens.

 

I think my ex lives just up the road but I never see her. Which is good really because I would have never healed.

 

About not

[TravelLight]

They pop up when you least expect it.

 

1st x: popped up after 6 yrs when we happened to be on the same plane to new york together.

 

2nd X: popped up in the same law school together

 

3rd X: popped up on the net after two yrs to say if I were his ethnicity, he would have married me in a heartbeat. Well dude guess thats not happening anytime soon

 

4th X: popped up after 2 yrs to say I was the only girl he ever connected with and could we date again.

 

There was this guy I had a brief connection with. I was telling my girlpals *gossiping about past loves* I would neversee him again. Same day one and a half yr later we run into each other at the same bar.

 

Lessons learnt:

1) they pop up when you least expect it (I travel all over the world and met them in all different places. What a surprise the world can be so small)

2) You don't really care when you see them and you're happy you're not with them anymore.

 

These things do happen.

 

Someone I worked with bought some photos in of a beach party they were at in Australia. One of his colleagues was looking at them and saw himself in the background of one of the shots!

 

I've bumped into people round the other side of the world before. It happens.

 

I think my ex lives just up the road but I never see her. Which is good really because I would have never healed.

 

About not caring,

[TravelLight]

Hey sorry for multiple posts, computer went crazy

[TravelLight]

Apparently he was super skeazy and had a couple of skanky chicks with him who he started to make out with. He was prob doing it to show off, but when she told me about it all we could do is laugh! It still gets me giggling because it's such a ridiculous image.

 

KittenMoon, you have a lovely way with words

 

It's a shame your over the pond

[TravelLight]

okay, but isn't it crazy how the person you once loved, and was the center of your life, could be someone later that you don't even KNOW any more. That always strikes me as really strange, in a bad way. How do you get in bed with someone every night and say how much you love them, and they love you, and then one day you don't even know each other any more. Sad.

 

It does seem crazy and sad.

 

I guess the conclusion I'm coming to is that you have to save your love for the people who give a damn about you. Family, friends and eventually the new hun that walks into your life.

[basscatcher]

X's Oh boy' where do I start....

 

X1. Don't care; he TOOK my virginity and is a male chov. pig. Last I knew he was somewhere in St. Paul, MN or Denver, CO.

 

X2. I've googled him; he lives north of me in the sub-suburbs of the twin cities. Last time I seen him I was 6 weeks due to birth my son. My bf (later h, now xh) was sleeping when he came over too see how I was doing. He always checked up on me once in awhile to make sure I was ok. He always cared about me. The last time I spoke to him on the phone was when my son was about 2 1/2 years old and my marriage was falling apart, I was living in hell, counceling wasn't working and a year later his brother told me he got married. I felt he was the lost love of my life for 12 years.. I still wonder about him from time to time and I learned to not obsess about him and just say a prayer for him.

(it is weird I seen this thread this morning because I haven't dreamt about him in a long time and I dreamt about him last night. Coinicidence?? I'm a little troubled by it. I need to pray for him again.)

 

X3. I don't know. We dated for about 7 months and when we broke up he said 'if I can't have you, I don't want anything to do with you', and he disappeared. I've heard he's been seen but don't know if it was really him or not.

 

X4. Broke up with this one, last heard still living in his home town, had a baby and is a great father to the child. Didn't marry the mother.

 

X5. He had a baby with my best friend, they broke up, he had a baby with a girl I use to bbsit when I was a teenager (she and I lived 1 1/2 hours from him- its weird how they met...) they didn't last, last I heard he is single still and he has called me to see how I am when he heard I was divorced. I got the hint he wanted to go out with me again. I told him I'm not interested if that was his intentions of calling me. He hasn't called again.

 

X6. I broke his heart and really didn't mean too. He was a great guy. Treated me very well. I was still in love with X2 and was messing up my life playing around with too many guys at one time. He didn't speak to me again and he became destructive. He was charged with man slaughter in FL for drunk driving and I believe he is still in prision in FL for the charges. My heart really goes out to him.. I wouldn't mind seeing him again. I know getting involved with a felon is hard because they will struggle with employement and living places until the charge is expunged off their record.. He had a few beers on his birthday, he was super tired. he drove home @ 11pm because he had to work the next morning and a 14 yr old kid was running across the freeway when he accidently hit him and killed him. WTF was a 14 yr old boy doing running across a major freeway at 11pm????

 

X7. Is my XH........... Need I say much more.. We share a child together. I have a OFP on him for assault last year.

 

X8. I don't give a damn. He is my worse nightmare. I am living in hiding because of this man.. That is why I live in the twin cities, I am not publicly listed. Only my family and closest friends know where I am at and know how to contact me.

 

X9. He and I are still in contact. We are 13 yrs age difference so there is understanding and maturity. We don't see each other but give each other support when we need it. Him with his sobriety and relationship trouble; me with my relationship troubles.

 

X10. He was actually the total love of my life when we were together. Everything was magical with him. I was so very happy, content and at total peace with him. He was my soulmate.. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. He totally fullfilled me.. He was the one who made everything in my life work so much better.. He literally made me weak in the knees.

PROBLEM: he is a very confused and indecisive man.. He currently married the OW, to prove to her that he was with her and not me-she nagged on him until he was so desperate to shut her up (she still complains and brings me up!!). He tells me that he loves me very much, he made a big mistake, he asks me to forgive him, he says he misses everything about me. I am still in contact with him but very limited. I recently came to terms about him and I totally surrendered all my desires for him.. He made his choice; whether he is happy or not, and I can't subject myself to living in a dream world about him. I wished him healing, happiness and a heathy marriage. (he has his hands full w/her..) I can't and couldn't take him back after all the stupid choices he has made and all the double talk he has done the past year. I wash my hands 99%.

 

X11. Was short lived, he got cold feet. He still has hang-ups over his Xgf/mother of his son. He apoligized for not being fair to me and admitted he still has issues from his past with his X. He isn't ready to get in a serious relationship. We communicate.

 

X12. Is a alpha male type man, doesn't want to get married, have children, have a woman live in his home or have a woman around often. He loves his single life, his space and independance without having a fulltime woman in his life. I wasn't going to be a FWB.... We still communicate. We have long conversations on the phone and he helps me become aware of the traits I have that turn men off. EX: negative speach, complaining.

 

X13. Currently still in contact. Not sure exactly what I want to do with him. He is halfX/half current. I have some major issue's with him and I can't live with those issues and yet he has a very very good side to him that I don't want to give up. He asked me to 'wait, and see what happens'. I am taking it one day at a time and if someone comes along I will do as I please. I put this guy off frequently and I have trust issues with his behavior because he is a major flirt with women when he is drunk and he isn't a emotionally affectionate man. I am still confused with what to do with him other then continue talking to him and keeping physically distant from him as much as possible. If he wants to move on that is his choice... He knows I logically have ended the relationship. Logically I know he and I are over. Yet, he still has a power over me because I am still attracted to him and he and I share very similar interests. It's not a easy situation.

I don't see him and I working things out.. There is contact but little physical contact. We are pretty much done... He knows this and is still working on going out with me. Dumb man...

 

All other X's (about 25 of them) were very short lived (2 weeks or less) and didn't turn into any quality length of dating. I haven't kept in touch with any of these but I am curious about a couple of them. I won't run wild trying to find out either.

 

I started dating at the tender age of 15. I am currently 37.. almost 25 years of relationships... WOW

[In Sync]

Since October I have never seen or heard from the X again. Not a single peep. Although that has been the best thing in alleviating the pain of getting over him...I must admit I am surprised that I've never run into him or seen him. Ok, we didn't have the same circle of friends and we don't live or work with one another. Still I run into people often who I don't work with, etc.

 

When all this breakup and Nc bizness with him began I remembered feeling anxious that I may ever run into him by chance..I would jump at the slightest sign of anyone who seemed to look like him. Nerve wrecking, that was.

 

I guess it's just strange now...sort of like he just disappeared out of my life.

 

As for my other X's so much time has past by that I have no emotional connection to them. If I were to see them it would not matter a single bit.

[WeaknPowerless]

Of the three that mattered:

 

1st: It's been years. I was young(er) and angry with what transpired. But all in all, it was for the best. It wasn't a relationship built on any real firm ground, but it taught me well. I ignored her for her remaining time in the town we lived in, and if I saw her today, I'd probably have coffee or something with her, but I never think about her. I doubt I'll actually ever see her again.

 

2nd: A 4 year relationship that went on longer then it should of. A truly amazing girl I grew up with. She deserved more then I was willing to give. I talked to her just a half hour ago online. She is now a lawyer and the whole world is hers for the taking. I never think about getting back with her, as I know I don't want to and probably never will, but there is little doubt that we will be friends for a long time. I hurt her when I broke up with her (She was away doing her intern work), but the relationship had come to an end. It wasn't healthy to continue. I wish her the best and she deserves a great person.

 

3rd: The latest one. Looking back at all the others, this was the first person I can say I truly loved. My story is everywhere in my posts, so I won't be redundant. Only the future knows how I will feel towards her. At this point, as much as it hurts to say, I wish to never hear from her or see her. I hate saying it, but I have to. Seeing her or talking to her only hurts me. I got an email a few weeks ago, and I fear she will still be living in this city for another year (we were supposed to have moved away this October). This was the earthquake that rocked my core. It's been 5 months now, exponentially longer in terms of healing time comparatively, and although there is light, I still am very torn up about it all. Thinking I'll never hear her voice or see her again is quite depressing, but its better than the alternative.

[Curmudgeon]

Wow is right. I'll be 60 in a few months and have only had three real relationships. The first real love of my life dumped me when I joined the Army and was headed for Vietnam. Wasn't going to wait around and see if I came home on my own two feet or in a body bag. Never saw or heard from her again. Oh, well!

 

The second I was married to for 25 years and had five children with. She left me for greener pastures for which she couldn't wait until we were divorced. I certainly know where she is and what she's doing and it's all very sad. She married her boyfriend before the ink was dry on the final divorce order (already living with him, or visa versa) but he was killed in a car accident a bit over three years later.

 

She ran through her share of my retirement money from the divorce and his after he died (took both lump-sum) and now works fulltime for the first time in her life at a barely over minimum wage job, no retirement, no benefits. Moved 500 miles away to be near her mnother and sister after I wrestled custody of our youngest away from her. Her only "future" will be her community interest in my Social Security which doesn't diminish what I'll get and won't support her. I have no idea what she'll do. Not my problem.

 

I think it's sad but it is what it is. She hates me because I'm happily married, earn much more now than I did while we were married and am far, far better off financially. Plus, my wife and I will have a very comfortable retirement. We won't be world travelers but we'll be secure. Knowing her, she thinks she should still get a part of that. Sorry!

 

I never hear from her and will likely never again see her in life. I can live with that!

 

Third relationship is my current and lasting one. I like that!

[pricillia]

I never see any of my exes anymore, but know where they ended up, not sure if they know where I am at all.

 

I do not hate any of my exes and I have learned something from all of them. So many years have passed that I would be friends with them again if that were possible. For me I have the good times as memories...

[lindya]

I'll bump into an ex from time to time, but it's strange...I only ever think of the last boyfriend as being "the ex". Others are just "someone I went out with for a while."

 

The last ex...that was a particularly nasty break up. I stayed in touch with him for a couple of months in a kind of denial of how appalling it was - and have only got involved in casual short term dating since him. An ex like that, when you do break away from them, just gets relegated to the "toxic people you're glad to leave in the past and never see again" category.

 

Otherwise I have a sort of reasonably friendly, vaguely uncomfortable "Oh - it's you. Hello." vibe with when I bump into guys I've gone out with in the past.