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what drives people to do this?


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I need some advice

 

I came out of a long term relationship about 9 months ago. I had cheated on my boyfriend, and I felt rather guilty, and decided to the end this as it became a cronic problem.

 

I never told him, even to this day. He was a wonderful guy, and never did anything wrong. I get so annoyed at myself that I didn't love him like I should have.

 

I am now seeing somone, and it's only been a few months, and already I have seen someone behind his back. I feel horrible but yey not as much as I feel I should. It so bad, because he is such a wonderful guy, and I don't understand why I keep doing this

 

I am being incredibly honest. I know I should feel worse than I do. I should want to bury myself in a hole a die a slow and horrible death, but I don't. What is wring with me. Ever since I first cheated, I have been constnalt seeking attention, even when im not suppose to be availbe. I seen to thrive, it validates me. This constant need for sexual attention it driving me mad, and at the samw time driving me. Perhaps I have been with the wrong people. But I don't want to be like this. I have been cheated on by a previous partner, and it destroyed me, and yet here I am doing it to people who don't deserve it. Thats why I have never said anything to them.

 

Can anyone else relate to this, or advice on how to stop this. What shouhd I do. I'm so confused?

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