Im

[alex2000]

Hi all

 

Im a new user, and ive come for some advice. Please this is a serious thread, and I know a lot of you wont sympathise with me

 

I am a cheater. I was in a long term relationship which I ended, because I cheated. But after the first time, it snowballed and I kept chronically cheating on him. I never told him, even after we broke up.

 

About 9 months on I am now in another relationship. It been a only a couple of months and yet I did it again. I feel horribel, bit to be honest not as much as I think I should feel, and it was the same as the last relationship.

 

Now I seem to have this need, I needto feel sexually attractive to more than one man, and I love the attention, completely trhive on it. What is wrong with me. Why cant I just be happy in a loving relaitonships. The guys Ive been with are lovely and I know thye dont desearve this. Ive had ppl cheat on me too and its devistating.

 

Does anyone know why people do this, is it unusual? can anyone suggest any advice?

 

Please feel free to give me a serve, I know I desearve it

 

confused

[JadeStar]

If you currently have a b/f you are stepping out on, I say break up with him and get get yourslef some individual counseling. You do not need to be in a relationship right now with anyone until a counselor can help you figure out whats going on with you and why you feel the need to cheat. Even if the counselor helps you understand why you're doing it, only YOU are the one that can stop it. JMO

 

 

 

 

Jade

[Woggle]

Stay single until you resolve your cheating issues so you don't hurt anybody else.

[Outcast]

Your self-esteem is in the toilet. Because you are unable to feel confident in your own abilities, you turn to others to affirm you by screwing you. It's not much of a compliment, which you would realize if you had any self-esteem.

 

Really, do get counselling. Maybe one of those dreaded 'feminists' could help you see that male approval should not be the yardstick by which you deem yourself worthy and acceptable.

[Spectre]

my advice: dont have sex with other guys, if youre in a relationship, dont be around other guys. Simple..yet effective.

[tikigods]

don't be in a relationship and you can have sex with as many guys as you want

[hyakku]

Hi all

 

Im a new user, and ive come for some advice. Please this is a serious thread, and I know a lot of you wont sympathise with me

 

I am a cheater. I was in a long term relationship which I ended, because I cheated. But after the first time, it snowballed and I kept chronically cheating on him. I never told him, even after we broke up.

 

About 9 months on I am now in another relationship. It been a only a couple of months and yet I did it again. I feel horribel, bit to be honest not as much as I think I should feel, and it was the same as the last relationship.

 

Now I seem to have this need, I needto feel sexually attractive to more than one man, and I love the attention, completely trhive on it. What is wrong with me. Why cant I just be happy in a loving relaitonships. The guys Ive been with are lovely and I know thye dont desearve this. Ive had ppl cheat on me too and its devistating.

 

Does anyone know why people do this, is it unusual? can anyone suggest any advice?

 

Please feel free to give me a serve, I know I desearve it

 

confused

 

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say maybe you're not meeting the right type of men. I have a feeling you are meeting the guys that seek approval, toss aside there wants and needs for yours, treats you wonderfully and almost worships the ground you step on (this is an exagerration in case someone didn't catch it), and you aren't getting that special spot full. I know what its like to not be be able to feel the way you should. I mean when you think about a fulfilling relationship you realize that average chumps aren't going to do it. You need to find a real man, a man that will make you feel totally comfortable with him, but will also always make you feel that sense of mystery and excitement. I know its hard, but when you just stop and look deep inside yourself, I think you will find what you desire, and I'm pretty sure you will recognize that you need a real man.

 

Maybe this isn't the case, but chances are it is.

[TeaCooler]

yeah, i think you're just not ready for a relationship.

 

as someone else said, don't be in a relationship and you can do whatever you want without hurting someone else.

[IrishCarBomb]

You could be fundamentally broken. Find a guy with a cuckold fetitsh... it'll be perfect for you.

[Guest]

I am by no means a professional on this subject but am willing to bet that you did not have the strongest father figure in your life growing up. I know when I was young, my dad was the sole breadwinner and was at work most of the time. To no fault of his own on that one. And since my mom pretty much ran the show at the house, he never really had a say in things. He didn't put his foot down for us (or at least it didn't work very well when he tried), and so by the time us girls (3 of us) hit the teen years we had not gotten the attention from him we needed. So I went and got it from other guys.

 

I think you have a self-esteem issue. You need a guy to tell you what you want to hear so you feel okay about yourself. But obviously this doesn't work (it didn't for me, either). I do agree with the first post that you need counseling or at least to read a self-help book or something from the library.

 

I am finally starting to learn at age 25 that you really need to learn about yourself and your past to recognize it, be okay and accepting of it (because of course you can't change it), and move on.

[beachrosie]

Perhaps the best thing to do would to not be getting into serious relationships. Why not just be on your own and do what you please, and not worry about hurting people. Seems pretty simple to me.