Why does he do this to me???

[texas]

I have been seeing a friend for 8 months. He has told me he loves me and yet he still sees his exgirlfriend and sleeps with other women too. I have caught him ln lie several times and I can also prove that he has lied. When I try to talk to him he ignores me and gets hateful. I got drunk this past weekend and barged into his house demanding that he speak to me and he called the police and said that he had an intruder that he wanted removed. He said that I was rude and only thought of myself. I am not a selfish person nor am I rude. I know what I did was wrong but I was desperate for answers. I don't like being used and lied to. I am in love with person and it hurts very much. He is blaming me for everything. Should I just stay away from him and let things settle? We hang out at the same places, should I stay away from there to?

[Laurynn]

First of all, how can you LOVE someone who cheats on you? How can you love someone who rolls around in the sheets with other women? How can you love someone who LIES TO YOU?

 

Your definition of love and mine must be very, very different.

 

Nevermind pursuing answers. You already have the answers. He cheats, he lies. He's a selfish, disrespectful, dishonest, inscrupulous loser.

 

Nevermind wasting any more of your time trying to find out WHY he lies and cheats. What does it matter? Pigs lie and cheat because they have the morals and integrity of bellybutton lint (or less). Do you honestly think that if you can get some answers, that you'll be able to make him see the errors of his ways and you can work things out? IMPOSSIBLE. Once a cheater and a liar, always a cheater and a liar. Just thank God you've found out now, instead of somewhere down the road, married to him with 2 small children.

 

Don't go near him again. Don't try to contact him by phone, email, smoke signals, notes on his car, messages through friends, billboard signs. He's called the cops on you once, he won't think twice about doing it again.....and you don't want to have a criminal record for stalking/harassment/break and enter, do you?

 

I've been in your shoes, exactly.....many years ago, when I was married. (I was 25, he was 27). I ended up leaving him, but we were still legally married. I'd drive by OUR home and I'd see women's cars in OUR driveway....I knew that some skank was sleeping in OUR bed. I was totally and completely devastated. I nearly lost my mind. I couldn't imagine how someone who vowed to love, honor and cherish me would be so cruel to me, so disrespectful. I wanted answers. Was it me? Was I somehow a failure? Was I not pretty enough? Was I not as good in bed as these skanks? Was I not enough of a party girl? I began to convince myself that his lying and cheating were all my fault.

 

Finally one day I'd had enough. I woke up and realized he was anything but a prize. Well, maybe the booby prize.

 

I realized he was not worthy of my time, my love, my attention, my affection, my trust, my friendship.

 

I also realized that I was not to blame for his lies and unfaithfulness. He did the things he did because he didn't have a shred of decency in his body. He was selfish and rude. And immature. Losing him was my biggest win.

 

Real relationships, health and loving ones, are based on mutual trust, respect, honesty and friendship. Your guy has no concept of this whatsoever.

 

Don't contact him again.....by doing so, you risk him going to the police again, and you boost his ego about a million times...for he'll think he's such a 'catch' that you just can't live without him, despite the fact that he's sh*t on you.

 

Be tough, find strength. Lean on your friends and family for support. Be good to yourself. Keep busy. Take a little comfort in knowing that millions of men and women all over the world have gone through what you're going through.......and that time does heal these hurts.

 

Chin up,

 

Laurynn

[BeenThere]

Texas, I'm with Laurynn. This isn't *love*...its OBSESSION. Get a backbone and break free of this toxic, self-destructive cycle you're in. If you can't find the inner strength and pride to move on, then you are welcoming this kind of treatment and ultimately deserve exactly what you're getting. People can't mistreat you if you don't allow it!

I have been seeing a friend for 8 months. He has told me he loves me and yet he still sees his exgirlfriend and sleeps with other women too. I have caught him ln lie several times and I can also prove that he has lied. When I try to talk to him he ignores me and gets hateful. I got drunk this past weekend and barged into his house demanding that he speak to me and he called the police and said that he had an intruder that he wanted removed. He said that I was rude and only thought of myself. I am not a selfish person nor am I rude. I know what I did was wrong but I was desperate for answers. I don't like being used and lied to. I am in love with person and it hurts very much. He is blaming me for everything. Should I just stay away from him and let things settle? We hang out at the same places, should I stay away from there to?

[texas]

First of all, how can you LOVE someone who cheats on you? How can you love someone who rolls around in the sheets with other women? How can you love someone who LIES TO YOU? Your definition of love and mine must be very, very different. Nevermind pursuing answers. You already have the answers. He cheats, he lies. He's a selfish, disrespectful, dishonest, inscrupulous loser.

 

Nevermind wasting any more of your time trying to find out WHY he lies and cheats. What does it matter? Pigs lie and cheat because they have the morals and integrity of bellybutton lint (or less). Do you honestly think that if you can get some answers, that you'll be able to make him see the errors of his ways and you can work things out? IMPOSSIBLE. Once a cheater and a liar, always a cheater and a liar. Just thank God you've found out now, instead of somewhere down the road, married to him with 2 small children. Don't go near him again. Don't try to contact him by phone, email, smoke signals, notes on his car, messages through friends, billboard signs. He's called the cops on you once, he won't think twice about doing it again.....and you don't want to have a criminal record for stalking/harassment/break and enter, do you? I've been in your shoes, exactly.....many years ago, when I was married. (I was 25, he was 27). I ended up leaving him, but we were still legally married. I'd drive by OUR home and I'd see women's cars in OUR driveway....I knew that some skank was sleeping in OUR bed. I was totally and completely devastated. I nearly lost my mind. I couldn't imagine how someone who vowed to love, honor and cherish me would be so cruel to me, so disrespectful. I wanted answers. Was it me? Was I somehow a failure? Was I not pretty enough? Was I not as good in bed as these skanks? Was I not enough of a party girl? I began to convince myself that his lying and cheating were all my fault. Finally one day I'd had enough. I woke up and realized he was anything but a prize. Well, maybe the booby prize. I realized he was not worthy of my time, my love, my attention, my affection, my trust, my friendship. I also realized that I was not to blame for his lies and unfaithfulness. He did the things he did because he didn't have a shred of decency in his body. He was selfish and rude. And immature. Losing him was my biggest win. Real relationships, health and loving ones, are based on mutual trust, respect, honesty and friendship. Your guy has no concept of this whatsoever.

 

Don't contact him again.....by doing so, you risk him going to the police again, and you boost his ego about a million times...for he'll think he's such a 'catch' that you just can't live without him, despite the fact that he's sh*t on you. Be tough, find strength. Lean on your friends and family for support. Be good to yourself. Keep busy. Take a little comfort in knowing that millions of men and women all over the world have gone through what you're going through.......and that time does heal these hurts. Chin up, Laurynn

[Laurynn]

 

Laurynn

 

I know what you are saying is true. I got a call from a friend of mine saying that someone cut the gas line on his motorcycle last night and he is blaming me. I will be staying away from him. He seems to have a lot of people upset with him. Two weeks ago his explorer was stolen and parked on the train tracks, a train hit it. I don't deserve his bull crud and I know that I deserve better.]

 

Texas