Sami_D Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 I thought you'd all like to know... There was a meet-up/reunion thing of one of the online communities I'm part of last night. It had been organised for months and I was thinking I'll never be ok to go to it... too down... etc. etc. Made my excuses earlier in the day and settled down to another dull Saturday evening. But one of the guys from there kept texting me yesterday to GO!! And after about 20 texts I gave in lol... Went out with my hair still sort of wet, and I had THE BEST NIGHT that I've had for such a long time! Great bunch of people, great atmosphere, everyone was so nice, happy, up and (apart from a wobbly moment when they put a couple of sad songs on) I don't think I stopped laughing all evening! So! YAY for me! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 So! YAY for me! Yes, YAY for you, Sami!!! :bunny: How's this for an act of complete lunacy? I have entered a mini marathon for next month, so I am hard in training!!!! YAY for me (and very stiff legs) too!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 21, 2006 Author Share Posted May 21, 2006 YaY for both of you! I went to a coworker's nursing graduation party and was out all night dancing! I laughed and danced all night long and had a great time! I am so happy for all of us! We are on the upswing! Link to post Share on other sites
CantCutitOff Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Reading these threads has really helped me clear my head with my whole situation... so I thought I'd share my "mood improvement" tactic... B/c of my job, I'm innondated with people in REALLY dysfunctional personal relationships every day. Dysfunctional = serial cheaters, domestic violence, + worse. Clients & co-workers alike. I think that's part of what made it seem OK to drift into the "it's okay to be w/ a MM" mentality. So what did I do last night? I went to a BBQ with a few friends & some REALLY HAPPILY married people. Watching these couples look at each other & listening to them plan for children, new homes, etc. It actually put me in a fantastic mood -- seeing happily married, functional couples -- and really motivated me to find my own new, great, single guy so I could be part of one (and they were playing a bit of matchmaker for me as well). Wouldn't have thought that would've worked, but it certainly did. Enjoy your Sunday nights everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 Yay Guys!!! :bunny: :bunny: I'm sensing an upswing. Can we keep it going??? I vote yes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 22, 2006 Author Share Posted May 22, 2006 Oh yes we can keep this going... These affairs took alot out of us and now we are getting ourselves back... Such a good thing! I am so proud of all of us.... Keep it up ladies! Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 yes..we all seen to be swinging like mad! lol! ladies you rock..I love yens! you all make me so proud:love: Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 yes..we all seen to be swinging like mad! lol! ladies you rock..I love yens! you all make me so proud:love: Ok LNF, I've seen you say "yens" a few times. What the heck is that?? lol! And btw, I always love it when you say "Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt"!! Cracks me up everytime!! Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Ok LNF, I've seen you say "yens" a few times. What the heck is that?? lol! And btw, I always love it when you say "Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt"!! Cracks me up everytime!! lol! you remembered! I used to live in west virginia..so yens is like ya'll..lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Yay Guys!!! :bunny: :bunny: I'm sensing an upswing. Can we keep it going??? I vote yes! Can we keep it going???? You bet we can!!! :bunny: We are going into summer, the evenings are getting longer, the leaves in the trees have come out, the flowers are popping up everywhere in the park... it is such a boost to the system! What is there to worry about, really??? I feel that I can do anything... (except perhaps run a full marathon.. ) I do think WE ROCK!!!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Jessie, I have to admire that... I couldn't even run to the end of the street, I don't think lol ... I've never been much of a runner. I do think it's great to have these goals... every time you reach one its I don't know about you others, but I'm feeling SO much better now than I did when I was in the A. Just coming up to 4 weeks of NC, and even though I have my sad times, I wouldn't want to swap back to all that pain and anxiety for anything. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Jessie, I have to admire that... I couldn't even run to the end of the street, I don't think lol ... I've never been much of a runner. I do think it's great to have these goals... every time you reach one its I don't know about you others, but I'm feeling SO much better now than I did when I was in the A. Just coming up to 4 weeks of NC, and even though I have my sad times, I wouldn't want to swap back to all that pain and anxiety for anything. *cheers* Sami though it's only been a solid week for me...I gave him the no return policy and thats what really makes me feel better..I feel like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders. though this new job is kicking my butt royal like at least it's keeping my mind off junk..I'll owe 'em for that. though I already want to quit lol! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Jessie, I have to admire that... I couldn't even run to the end of the street, I don't think lol ... I've never been much of a runner. I do think it's great to have these goals... every time you reach one its I don't know about you others, but I'm feeling SO much better now than I did when I was in the A. Just coming up to 4 weeks of NC, and even though I have my sad times, I wouldn't want to swap back to all that pain and anxiety for anything. Yeah, I'm the same way. I hate running. I'm gonna start my speed walking with music in my ears. That's enough for me. Sami, I'm glad to her you're feeling better. So many are afraid to go through the pain of NC, and I'm not taking away from any of the pain. As you well know, I've been there many times. But I think it is soooooooo important for the OW to see that they are not going to die if they go into NC. Given a little time, they suddenly realize they have cried enough tears, say "what am I doing", and start to slowly make a turn around, start doing things, start realizing they got through one hour without crying, then two, then one day, then a week. They start doing things to occupy themselves and in time, start feeling better about themselves. No matter what the outcome, NC is far better to start living your life. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 *cheers* Sami though it's only been a solid week for me...I gave him the no return policy and thats what really makes me feel better..I feel like this weight has been lifted off my shoulders. though this new job is kicking my butt royal like at least it's keeping my mind off junk..I'll owe 'em for that. though I already want to quit lol! LNF, I give you a lot of credit. Two jobs! Been there too, and I hated it. But I also had 3 kids to take care of and it was even harder. But if you start feeling like you're missing out on life because you're working too hard, and unless you have to have two jobs, you just may find you'll start wanting to do other things in that time. Good luck either way. Who knows, maybe some cute guy will catch your eye at that counter! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 They start doing things to occupy themselves and in time, start feeling better about themselves. Yes... you start doing things to occupy yourself and then... suddenly find that you're actually enjoying doing the things... and looking forward to them! Keep going all... it does get better. Every time you hit a wall of pain and grief... just keep swimming... there is more peace and (yes) good times on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Yes... you start doing things to occupy yourself and then... suddenly find that you're actually enjoying doing the things... and looking forward to them! Keep going all... it does get better. Every time you hit a wall of pain and grief... just keep swimming... there is more peace and (yes) good times on the other side. Yes, and once you have that first time where you actually get yourself out into the world and socialize and feel good laughing, you have an aha moment, which encourages you to do it again, and then again. In a short amount of time, you're surviving! Who would have thought! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 In a short amount of time, you're surviving! Who would have thought! Actually, not only am I surviving... I'm THRIVING! I had SUCH a good time on Saturday evening... I'm doing things I never though I ever would do! And people have said to me they've never heard me laugh so much! It's all the relief of being out of the affair... It feels SO GOOD! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Yay Sami!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 22, 2006 Author Share Posted May 22, 2006 Sami, You are mirroring EXACTLY how I feel... I, too, am thriving. Isn't it nice to finally be able to exhale? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Isn't it nice to finally be able to exhale? Yes. Absolutely! I have to say, however... that I LOVE him so so so so much. The fact that I'm able to do this NC has nothing to do with how much I love him, or how much I want him. It's about completely different things, like self-respect and determination. (That should also be a message to the OW who are thinking that just because he hasn't contacted them, that he has forgotten all those feelings or doesn't care... it's not like that at all.) ETA: Well there you go... I just had a BIG wobbler moment... missing him like mad, I just want to hear his voice, just have him here with me, with all this over... :( Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 Aww, Hugs Sami! Girls, smack me. I did what I said I wouldn't do. I signed up on an online dating site free just for 3 days. I can't afford to sign on for any length of time and I just thought I'd get my feet wet! Well, I'm getting all sorts of e-mails and damn, it feels good!! lol!! Some of them I'm actually interested in!! But I am different now. I'm gonna take it slow. I have a whole different outlook on it now. Probably because I know what I want and I won't settle. But hell, I'm enjoying this!! In 2 more days, I'll be shutting it down, so I'm picking and choosing!! lol!! Wish me luck! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Iwanttohope Posted May 22, 2006 Share Posted May 22, 2006 You don't need to be smacked...I'm envious! Your heart is open and I think that's great. You also crack me up:laugh: It should feel good! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Yeah, I can't tell you how different it is this time. I've actually got a good rappor (sp?) with a couple of guys and I'm not letting anyone push me into anything. Its so weird!! Since I've done the online dating thing before I know what to expect. But this time I'm doing it my way. And I am feeling sooooooo good!! Maybe this is what it took. Not settling or being forced into something I'm not comfortable with. Damn, I've learned so much in the past few years!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 Movinon, It is time for YOU to have some happiness. Lord knows, you deserve it, girl! Enjoy yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Nothing wrong with dating of any kind... if it makes you feel good do it! What I'm doing to go on... well I was going to post about how I had been reading some Classic lit for the past six months or so and how it really resonated with what I was feeling. But I'll leave that for another day. Today, I'm drinking wine at the very early hour of 5.30 or so... ah well... I've been for my 3 mile walk already so sod it. I miss him so much. I have a really strong feeling that it's going to be ok... but that doesn't help these days to pass ANY quicker. I MISS YOU!!!!! There... that's that off my chest. I was wondering if we could use this thread as a kind of slow chat room... sometimes I just need to be somewhere with people who understand... and this is the best place I know. Link to post Share on other sites
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