movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 exactly, Sami, and you have every right to know. a month is a long time for promises. its not like he said he's not going to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 When can you expect an answer? I mean, when is he likely to read your mail? How are you feeling now???? I don't know when... tomorrow.. ? Monday..? I don't know. I'm feeling fine. At the moment. It's just going to be an exchange of words so we can transition into another phase. It was 'I'm going to do it'... I need to know that he still feels that way... if he doesn't then fine... I just need to know what is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I'm fine. I'm sure it's all ok. I just need to know if we're still on track. Maybe we need to make some longer-term plans or something. It was, after all, a NC made on a Thursday morning on the spur of the moment. If we're going to do it 'all or nothing' then I think we need to regroup. I can understand where you are coming from. The deal was NC until he tells W, right? When is the earliest opportunity for him to reply? Please don't say it's Monday, coz that would be torture having to wait for that long!!! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I'm fine. I'm sure it's all ok. I just need to know if we're still on track. Maybe we need to make some longer-term plans or something. It was, after all, a NC made on a Thursday morning on the spur of the moment. If we're going to do it 'all or nothing' then I think we need to regroup. Well the fact of the matter is that you agreed to do this together. You are supposed to be in this together. And you have every right to know what is going on because you are half of the equation and agreement. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Earliest opportunity was... well... is... whenever he checks his email or VM. It's a bank holiday here, so... actually I'm not expecting anything till Tuesday. But... don't panic! It's fine... I don't mind not hearing anything till then. I know he loves me, and that we're aiming in the same direction. If he says, Tuesday, that he wants to stay NC... then that's how it is. I just need to know we're still on track. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I don't know when... tomorrow.. ? Monday..? I don't know. I'm feeling fine. At the moment. It's just going to be an exchange of words so we can transition into another phase. It was 'I'm going to do it'... I need to know that he still feels that way... if he doesn't then fine... I just need to know what is happening. Sorry, didn't see this post. Yes, I can understand that you want to put an end to this uncertainty. This month must have been awful for you.... Have you any other thoughts on how to deal with things once you hear from him... If he says "I haven't yet, but I will...", will there be more NC.... etc... If he says "I just told her..." etc Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Earliest opportunity was... well... is... whenever he checks his email or VM. It's a bank holiday here, so... actually I'm not expecting anything till Tuesday. But... don't panic! It's fine... I don't mind not hearing anything till then. I know he loves me, and that we're aiming in the same direction. If he says, Tuesday, that he wants to stay NC... then that's how it is. I just need to know we're still on track. That's all. Sami, I agree with you and MO. I think you have a right to know that you are still on track. Not knowing what is going on must be so hard on you. You will let us know what happens, won't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Well the fact of the matter is that you agreed to do this together. You are supposed to be in this together. And you have every right to know what is going on because you are half of the equation and agreement. Period. Thanks MO... that is exactly what I'm feeling/thinking. We're in this together, trying to make it work. I WISH that I'd told him he could update me on certain things... but it was all so rushed, so sudden. I know he would never break NC to tell me if things had changed for him. So... I need to do it. Much as it makes me a schmuck. I know I am. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Thanks MO... that is exactly what I'm feeling/thinking. We're in this together, trying to make it work. I WISH that I'd told him he could update me on certain things... but it was all so rushed, so sudden. I know he would never break NC to tell me if things had changed for him. So... I need to do it. Much as it makes me a schmuck. I know I am. Sami, you are NOT a schmuck! This is your life we're talking about. And his life. And your life together. You have EVERY RIGHT to know! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Thanks MO... that is exactly what I'm feeling/thinking. We're in this together, trying to make it work. I WISH that I'd told him he could update me on certain things... but it was all so rushed, so sudden. I know he would never break NC to tell me if things had changed for him. So... I need to do it. Much as it makes me a schmuck. I know I am. Sami, You might be human (and believe me, I can understand where you are coming from!!!), but you are not a schmuck!!! OK???? Link to post Share on other sites
Iwanttohope Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I agree Sami D... You need closure one way or the other. Its like being in pergatory not knowing if his feelings/goals have changed, etc. You're not a schmuck...you're heartsick. I hope he answers sooner than later. Link to post Share on other sites
rossm Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 She won't be gone. NO way on Earth. Yep, you were right. She left me alone for a week but just sent me an "I miss you" email last night Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Sorry, didn't see this post. Yes, I can understand that you want to put an end to this uncertainty. This month must have been awful for you.... Have you any other thoughts on how to deal with things once you hear from him... If he says "I haven't yet, but I will...", will there be more NC.... etc... If he says "I just told her..." etc If he says he hasn't but i need to give him time, then NC will be ok for me. I should belive in him anyway, but... I am just human... and I don't know... it seems so long, and I haven't found anyone who could support me in believing in him. I know that sounds sad. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 If he says he hasn't but i need to give him time, then NC will be ok for me. I should belive in him anyway, but... I am just human... and I don't know... it seems so long, and I haven't found anyone who could support me in believing in him. I know that sounds sad. Sami, you know its because we just don't want you to get hurt. And we're all going by our own experiences. You do what you need to do. We love you and we're here for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I mean, I have been struggling this past month... we just said 'bye' suddenly... and his intent was there... but... I need to know if it stil is. Like IWTH... I need to know... does he want me now to be NC still... or has he changed his mind... i need to know. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 I mean, I have been struggling this past month... we just said 'bye' suddenly... and his intent was there... but... I need to know if it stil is. Like IWTH... I need to know... does he want me now to be NC still... or has he changed his mind... i need to know. Sami, for God's sake, you're not a rock! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Yeah MO... I am trying to be! But I'm not. I need to know if he still wants me to be NC, and he's still on track. And I think that this contact will be important for me. I need either to feel that he's going to do it, or he's not. Either way, I'll feel freer. It's the not knowing that is killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 If he says he hasn't but i need to give him time, then NC will be ok for me. I should belive in him anyway, but... I am just human... and I don't know... it seems so long, and I haven't found anyone who could support me in believing in him. I know that sounds sad. Sami, Yes, you should perhaps believe in him, but please allow yourself to be human... You haven't seen nor heard from him in a whole month!!! You are HUMAN!!!! I totally understand why you would want to have an "up date", and I do understand your belief in him. Look at me!!! Despite all the s***e that I have gone through I actually believe in my MM, knowing full well that there could be 400 people after this posting to tell me what a f***ing idiot I am... Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Believe in him and feel "sad", if that's how you feel! OK? Anyway, we are here for you. OK? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Yeah MO... I am trying to be! But I'm not. I need to know if he still wants me to be NC, and he's still on track. And I think that this contact will be important for me. I need either to feel that he's going to do it, or he's not. Either way, I'll feel freer. It's the not knowing that is killing me. Understandably. It would be killing me as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Yeah MO... I am trying to be! But I'm not. I need to know if he still wants me to be NC, and he's still on track. And I think that this contact will be important for me. I need either to feel that he's going to do it, or he's not. Either way, I'll feel freer. It's the not knowing that is killing me. Sami, I totally understand this. A month of no news would play all kinds of tricks on a person. Of course you need to know!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Iwanttohope Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 OK MO, second time I've laughed today! She's right Sami D., you are not a rock...you're human. DO NOT condemn yourself for wanting answers. It seems like you are viewing your email to him as some kind of weakness or setback and you're being unfair to yourself. You are worth knowing what his intent is and you would tell any one of us the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Thanks guys. I do need to know. IF I need to go into a more permanent NC after I've heard... the I'll do it. But... this not knowing isn't really good. I am no saint... I couldn't do it. Thanks all xx Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Thanks guys. I do need to know. IF I need to go into a more permanent NC after I've heard... the I'll do it. But... this not knowing isn't really good. I am no saint... I couldn't do it. Thanks all xx Well I think you're a saint for having gotten this far!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 OK MO, second time I've laughed today! She's right Sami D., you are not a rock...you're human. DO NOT condemn yourself for wanting answers. It seems like you are viewing your email to him as some kind of weakness or setback and you're being unfair to yourself. You are worth knowing what his intent is and you would tell any one of us the same. Actually, I wouldn't. I would have said 'give it more time... it's only now, that he's really missing you, that he might do it'... ... but I could't do it. I don't know who could. I am just not strong enough AND... I need a man who is stronger than me... I can't endure more than he can. And... if he needs to be with his children... really... then I'll wait. I will. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie61 Posted May 27, 2006 Share Posted May 27, 2006 Actually, I wouldn't. I would have said 'give it more time... it's only now, that he's really missing you, that he might do it'... ... but I could't do it. I don't know who could. I am just not strong enough AND... I need a man who is stronger than me... I can't endure more than he can. And... if he needs to be with his children... really... then I'll wait. I will. Sami, I think you are being too hard on yourself. You ARE strong and you can do anything you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts