RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 He's got! He's plays wolverine in x-men. He was on swordfish too. He's married with kids. But I know lots of married gay men with kids, that that's kinda meaningless. Sheesh... MO, I'm a bit shattered now. Ah well, I'm sure he loves me. I'm so adorably cute. *snort* You go girl! I'm sliding all over my chair with the thought of Keith naked! *laughing* Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 He's got! He's plays wolverine in x-men. He was on swordfish too. He's married with kids. But I know lots of married gay men with kids, that that's kinda meaningless. Sheesh... MO, I'm a bit shattered now. Ah well, I'm sure he loves me. I'm so adorably cute. *snort* I don't know if he's gay. But didn't he play a gay guy in that movie with Julia Roberts? Hey, I just saw it today! "My Best Friend's Wedding"! Isn't that him? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 From looking at his face, he looks like he can be pretty hairy. No, no, no!! I've seen him with his shirt off!! (Ooops. Sorry for spilling the beans, Nicole)! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 I don't know if he's gay. But didn't he play a gay guy in that movie with Julia Roberts? Hey, I just saw it today! "My Best Friend's Wedding"! Isn't that him? No, that's Rupert Everet. I think he's bi-sexual. But imho, if you've been up the butt or the other way around, your GAY. He's hot too. By the way girls, do you think that if Keith is hairy that he would 'manscape'? Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 No, no, no!! I've seen him with his shirt off!! (Ooops. Sorry for spilling the beans, Nicole)! He probably waxes then. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 No, that's Rupert Everet. I think he's bi-sexual. But imho, if you've been up the butt or the other way around, your GAY. He's hot too. By the way girls, do you think that if Keith is hairy that he would 'manscape'? WTH does that mean? I have no clue!! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 You go girl! I'm sliding all over my chair with the thought of Keith naked! *laughing* You are truly killing me here! LOL!!! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 WTH does that mean? I have no clue!! Manscaping is like landscaping except for men so that they look more lean and to make it look like they are more muscular by removing some of the body hair. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 You are truly killing me here! LOL!!! Yes well, we are in our prime! *laughing* Slip, sliding away...... Whew! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Yes well, we are in our prime! *laughing* Slip, sliding away...... Whew! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Manscaping is like landscaping except for men so that they look more lean and to make it look like they are more muscular by removing some of the body hair. Oh, I hate that!! My brother does that sometimes I think. And my son even did it once! Sheesh! I hope Keith doesn't do that!! No need. "slip sliding away....." RC, me too. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Oh, I hate that!! My brother does that sometimes I think. And my son even did it once! Sheesh! I hope Keith doesn't do that!! No need. "slip sliding away....." RC, me too. Well, I'm not going away anytime soon! Definately "slipery when wet" with that Keith baby! He gets my groove on! Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 11 PM Sunday night: I just came back from a carnival across the street after much prodding by a friend to come over for a beer. The message was delivered by my daughter , who told me, "Mom, it's not like you for everyone to be outside having fun and for you to sit home." I pushed myself to go out and glad I did. A stupid carnival, yes and a few dumb tap beers but still. It's a reminder to me that there is a whole life separate from the MM. I have to keep pushing myself. When I isolate from people, all I do is tend to think and rethink my life and start getting into a rut. No more thinking about life. More living it, instead. That's going to be my new motto. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 11 PM Sunday night: I just came back from a carnival across the street after much prodding by a friend to come over for a beer. The message was delivered by my daughter , who told me, "Mom, it's not like you for everyone to be outside having fun and for you to sit home." I pushed myself to go out and glad I did. A stupid carnival, yes and a few dumb tap beers but still. It's a reminder to me that there is a whole life separate from the MM. I have to keep pushing myself. When I isolate from people, all I do is tend to think and rethink my life and start getting into a rut. No more thinking about life. More living it, instead. That's going to be my new motto. You know BI.... One thing that I did do as hard as it was, I kept living in the process. It was extremely difficult. My mind was so cluttered with thoughts of my MM. If I wasn't immediately distracted, he was in there! I have to say, it was a great practice to get into during my 5 1/2 months of NC. I told myself, if he called and I missed the call, he call back. I didn't allow myself to hang out on the computer either because I knew the message would be waiting for me. Hell, since I found my you ladies, I think I'm more addicted here than I was to my MM! *laughing* Hang in there Dolly! Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 You're right. I think this is what I'm going to do, but I'll have a chat to my friend about it later, and then sleep on it, and then read this thread again. Then I'll reply to him tomorrow. Thanks all... and please write more if you think of anything else... I'm still pretty much thinking it through. Hi Sami, In my drunken state last night, I was in no position to give any advice. Anyway, I agree with a lot of the advice given. I think that this time, you need to focus on yourself. To focus on what would make you happy if you have to live life without your MM. I hope the he does not have the expecation that you will sit idly waiting for him to come to you and that you will not do so in the waiting process. I think that the longer that you cling on to the hope that he will be there calling in a month or two, that you will not move on with your life. Then that one month or two becomes three or four, etc. This is all about you now Sami. What is best for you? A few months ago, it hurts to breath when I had to face life without my xMM. I gave up EVERYTHING to be with him... EVERYTHING. When I was able to let go of any hope of having a future with him, I started to heal. If there is a day when he and I are both single and he still wants there to be an us, then we'll deal with it then (likely, I'll hate him by then because he didn't consider me at all when he and I split up; he didn't consider the fact that I had no where to go - that I had no one to turn to). In the meantime, I'm not going to hold my breath. I don't know what your decision is regarding your situation, Sami, but I know that whatever you do, I'll stand behind you and be there for you if you need me. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Anyone doing any noteworthy "moving on" things today on this holiday Monday? Any interesting plans to report of? It's hardly very interesting or note-worthy but I am off to a BBQ at my sisters later on. It's so hot out though, that I feel like just sitting on my tush in the air-conditioned house. Oh well. Better go get ready. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Anyone doing any noteworthy "moving on" things today on this holiday Monday? Any interesting plans to report of? It's hardly very interesting or note-worthy but I am off to a BBQ at my sisters later on. It's so hot out though, that I feel like just sitting on my tush in the air-conditioned house. Oh well. Better go get ready. Nope, no bbqs, nothing. That's why I talk about leaving myself left to be on my own. I'd be perfectly happen to go to a bbq at this point. I'm in and out of my yard trying to get some sun, but not able to handle the heat for more than 15 minutes at a time!! Its been like this all weekend. I'd be happy just to have a few adult friends to sit and talk to about nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 When I was able to let go of any hope of having a future with him, I started to heal. What was it that allowed you to give up hope? My situation... is that it's only been 4 weeks of NC, and he's still saying he's going to leave. I can't really manufacture the demise of hope. Actually, it feels FAR worse when I'm not hopeful. It's the days when it feels like it actually MIGHT work out that I feel up, and feel able to do stuff that I want to do, like going out and partying, walking, photography and even work Like today... feeling really good about the future, so I've been out taking photographs for the first time in a month Link to post Share on other sites
Iwanttohope Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Nothing noteworthy....I forced myself to go run.... I'm feeling really yucky. I'm assuming that my xMM is having a wonderful memorial day weekend with his family that is recently reunited to "try again" after their third separation in nine years:sick: This kind of mental anguish makes a lobotomy look pretty inviting. Anyone see the movie Francis with Jessica Lang and Sam Shephard? Its the bio of Francis Farmer...she ended up with a lobotomy...didn't feel any emotion after she had it. I'm obviously not serious about wanting one but when your mind goes to the assumption that your xMM's life is a bed of roses without you, well...it makes for a bad day to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 This kind of mental anguish makes a lobotomy look pretty inviting. HAHAHAH I know exactly where you're coming from Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Nothing noteworthy....I forced myself to go run.... I'm feeling really yucky. I'm assuming that my xMM is having a wonderful memorial day weekend with his family that is recently reunited to "try again" after their third separation in nine years:sick: This kind of mental anguish makes a lobotomy look pretty inviting. Anyone see the movie Francis with Jessica Lang and Sam Shephard? Its the bio of Francis Farmer...she ended up with a lobotomy...didn't feel any emotion after she had it. I'm obviously not serious about wanting one but when your mind goes to the assumption that your xMM's life is a bed of roses without you, well...it makes for a bad day to say the least. Well hopefully he's thinking the same thing about you!! He might be wondering if you're out bar hopping, dancing, mingling with singles at a bbq. Don't do this to yourself. I did this for fleeting moments and it just literally can ruin your day. If he really did love you, he is hurting. Men can just dispense of these things easier than we can, especially when they have backup - like their family!! They don't have to deal with chasms of loneliness. Where you at? Come over for a drink. Oh. Southeast mountains. Hmm. Link to post Share on other sites
Iwanttohope Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 MO--bless your heart--I needed to hear that:( I am in the mountains of North Carolina... Believe me....I'd be at your house in an instant for a drink!! I'm still thinkin we need a OM/OW retreat! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 MO--bless your heart--I needed to hear that:( I am in the mountains of North Carolina... Believe me....I'd be at your house in an instant for a drink!! I'm still thinkin we need a OM/OW retreat! My very best friend of 39 years lives in Henderson. Is that anywhere near you? Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 What was it that allowed you to give up hope? My situation... is that it's only been 4 weeks of NC, and he's still saying he's going to leave. I can't really manufacture the demise of hope. Actually, it feels FAR worse when I'm not hopeful. It's the days when it feels like it actually MIGHT work out that I feel up, and feel able to do stuff that I want to do, like going out and partying, walking, photography and even work Like today... feeling really good about the future, so I've been out taking photographs for the first time in a month I think I wanted to give up hope for myself because I need a life and I need to live. When I was ready, I sent him an email to not contact me anymore for anything outside of business. That each time he did, he hurt me. That it was a reminder of what we had. Then the radio played one of my favourite songs as I drove home from work and it just felt right. My situation is a bit different though. End of day, I had a husband who really loves me and wants me to be in his life. I knew that as long as I hoped for a little piece of him, I was not able to work on my M. I had to make a choice too. My choice is to work hard on what I have at home because that's all I have right now. I'm not saying that's the right approach and it could very well be wrong of me to stay, but it feels right for now. Sami, its only been 4 weeks. 4 weeks after my xMM and I split up, I couldn't do anything outside of moping. If the hope is helping you move on for now, then that's what you need. If you are ready to let go, then you will. If you have it in your head that you must let go, then eventually you'll be able to do it. Again, its what YOU need. Take this as time to reconnect with yourself to do the things you like to do. Maybe at the end of the journey, you may want something entirely different that what your MM has to offer you. I have come to the realization that had my MM and I continued in our path (living our life with each other), I would have only had 25% of himself. His children and W would have taken 75% - no matter what, she's the mother of his children so he would make himself available to her if she needed him. That when push came to shove, that his W would hold more importance than me because she is the mother of his children and I'm just a life partner. Looking back, I now ask myself the question, how did I ever convince myself that having so little of someone acceptable to begin with especially when I was willing to give him more than all I had? I guess he was that convincing or I was vulnerable or gullible enough to believe him. Who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Nothing noteworthy....I forced myself to go run.... I'm feeling really yucky. I'm assuming that my xMM is having a wonderful memorial day weekend with his family that is recently reunited to "try again" after their third separation in nine years:sick: This kind of mental anguish makes a lobotomy look pretty inviting. Anyone see the movie Francis with Jessica Lang and Sam Shephard? Its the bio of Francis Farmer...she ended up with a lobotomy...didn't feel any emotion after she had it. I'm obviously not serious about wanting one but when your mind goes to the assumption that your xMM's life is a bed of roses without you, well...it makes for a bad day to say the least. I think I need ot go for a run myself. My xMM told me a couple of months what milestones he and his wife have climbed with each other. Isn't that cruel? I know that these mental images are really horrific and I totally feel your pain. I have to visit my xMM at his desk sometimes (as we work together) and there are pictures of his kids and W all over his desk. Pictures of his 'happy' family for all the world to see. Link to post Share on other sites
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