Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Thanks Movinon... I am reeling. I cannot believe this is happening. My daughter is crushed and I am horrified. But, there is nothing I can do. Is there? Any ideas anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 WA..... Grrrrrr..... I get so angry when I hear stuff like this!!!! I know what I would do! I would personally go and see my exH and "father of our child" personally! The chat would primarily be focused on the best interest of our "child"! I would let him know that his actions based on his W's feelings are completely unacceptable! It is not his W's day, to even consider her freakin feelings. It's his daughter's day! He needs to know that him being present at your child's graduation means everything her! He needs to know that this is a very special landmark in your daughter's life! and; as often as these types of landmarks come around, it wouldn't scar his relationship with his W as much it will scar your child's heart! Yes his W is an insecure bitch, however.... Shame! Shame! on him!!! Keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Very quickly (I'm gonna get in trouble!! lol). This was my idea as well. But I would also go to his family and shame on them too!! do they care more about your daughter or his W?? SHAME SHAME SHAME ON ALL OF THEM!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 RC and Movinon, All of these suggestions are wonderful. Before they even arrived here in Arizona, I appealed to my xhusband to do what is best for our daughter. He admitted to me that he enjoys my company and his family loves being with me, but he said it is hard on his wife. Boo hoo. She knew about me before she married him. And how dare her ruin OUR child's big day? What in the world is going to happen when one of our kids gets married, God forbid? Can you imagine what a nightmare THAT would be? BTW, my two oldest daughters want to have NOTHING to do with their dad now. I can't say that I blame them. So sad. We had such a great relationship before this happened last night. I DID try to call his parents this morning...no answer on their cell phone. I am sick about all of this... I don't know how HE or his wife can sleep at night.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 And another thing.... My xhusband and I had such a healthy relationship in regards to our kids. We knew that we didn't want our difficulties and divorce issues to scar our children... But now....a very healthy, amicable situation for EVERYONE has just gotten incredibly unhealthy. WHY would anyone allow this to happen? My Mom was harping on me last night telling me this is why divorce is so bad. Bullshyt. This didn't happen because of the divorce. This happened because of who he married AFTER the divorce. And she wondered why I left him.... Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 WA.... You are correct that when it comes to the best interest of a child "Divorce" should NEVER come between the parent and the child! Unfortunately, so many people are either too Selfish or can't seem to get their priorities straight! With either reason, it all comes down to their head being a mess! Like I said "Go see him personally". A phone call just won't cut it! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Okay, Boss gone!! This is my take. I have been in this situation numerous times, although when we were all at the same function, we just ignored each other for the sake of the kids. Albeit, we never went to the same party. Your ex is a spineless wimp! And your Mom, (all due respect to her) is wrong as well. These are adults we're talking about here, not children. As I see it you have a few options. You go talk to him (although I seriously doubt if it didn't work before, it wohn't work now) If his family won't answer their phone, here are a few ideas. Your daughters are fed up and rightfully so. My boys have gotten the same way. I can't see that your daughter wants them at her party tonight. In fact, it would seem like it would be a fiasco and she will only end up crying! This is her time to enjoy this and NO ONE should be destroying her happiness for their own selfishness. If she does want them there then... Perhaps your older daughter can go talk to her father and the family if they won't talk to you. Perhaps, if your daughter still wants them there, your older daughter could convey that message, or if you can get ahold of them, you can convey that. If not them, perhaps your brother can go and tell them. Either way, someone needs to contact them TODAY for your daughter's sake. If she's not strong enough, someone should. I just don't think they are going to listen to you. This is no longer about your ex or his W or the family. They have no right to be there if your daughter doesn't want them. She can at least enjoy8 herself with family and friends who really do care about her and are not going to let her spoil her evening because of these selfish prigs!! Your daughter owes them nothing, including your her father and his family. Again, SHAME SHAME SHAME! He has destroyed any kind of relationship he hopes to have with his daughters and I don't think they will ever forgive him!! He doesn't deserve it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 I just got done talking to my oldest daughter. She wants nothing to do with any of her dad's family. She is horrified that NONE of them stood up against this ignorance, so therefore, she wants to speak with none of them. We will probably continue on with the party tomorrow night....and uninvite them. They are not welcome in my daughters' lives and I will not put either one of them through this ever again. BTW....Apparently my daughter who graduated went to the resort last night and confronted her dad. He called HER an a**h***. This daughter is much like me....quite headstrong and very strong. And that statement put the nail in the coffin for her. He's dead to her and her sister. So sad, but I am powerless to change what I cannot change. Thank God these girls live with me and not him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 And, of course, his family will be invited to the party still....just not him or his wife. His family will ALWAYS be welcome in my world. And, they love my daughters. Of this I have no doubt. They, although apparently spineless and wimpy, are not responsible for this happening....my X and his wife are. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Well first of all, I thought the party was tonight. I'm glad its not til tomorrow night, so there will be time for your daughter to settle down a bit. I am sooooo glad to hear she took the bull by the horns and went to him! And its very sad to hear what he said!! They should be uninvited. That was my own personal opinion but I did not want to speak for anyone in your family. He made his bed. He should go home and lay in it! Its very sad to see something like this happen. I've seen it with my kids. But at least now, your daughter will be able to enjoy her party as best you all can. Your children are very lucky to have you, you are one fantabulous mother, my dear!! Remember the serenity poem and share it with your children. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Do you think the family will come? That would be a double heartbreak for her if they don't!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Thank you so much. In spite of all the this chaos, I was SO proud of my daughter. This is a young woman who is loved by her peers and teachers alike. She has 200 plus friends attending this party tomorrow evening. And, I have many friends and coworkers who adore her and will also be attending the party. This kid is amazing. Have you ever met someone who was truly the "whole package?" If so, then you've met someone like my daughter. This one is physically stunning (in fact she has been asked to model, but has declined) and is absolutely beautiful on the inside. There is something about her that just draws everyone in. I hugged her after the graduation and cried with her as she realized that her dad had left. She is going to come out of this stronger. She knows that she is above all of this and she has much to be thankful for. I am so proud of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Do you think the family will come? That would be a double heartbreak for her if they don't!! That's the thing.... In a perfect world, my X and his wife would leave and go back to Maryland today. Then that would free up the rest of the family to enjoy the party without the fear of a tongue slashing for associating with....God forbid.....me. But, that would be the kind thing to do. And, I don't think he OR she have a kind bone in their bodies. So, I don't know if they will attend or not. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 For her sake, I hope they do attend while ex and W leave. Otherwise, they will lose her too. And it will be difficult with your older daughter being angry at them as well. You have very much to be proud of! 200 people!! Wow! I predict your daughter will have a hell of a time! As she should! She'll be surrounded by people who love her and care about her! What could be better than that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Oh yes.... We will persevere through this. Why let a few bad apples spoil the bunch? Let the party begin! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Oh yes.... We will persevere through this. Why let a few bad apples spoil the bunch? Let the party begin! Good for you! And your family!! Congrats again and to your daughter. (and say hi to your brother for me!!) ;) LOLOL!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Will do, my dear! Thanks for the support! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Always!! Hey, I think I might get asked to go on a ride on a Harley this weekend!! Sounds like fun, however... There's always the chance I could get a ride into the woods and raped! God forbid!! Hmmm. Gotta think about this one if I do get asked!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walking away Posted May 25, 2006 Author Share Posted May 25, 2006 Have fun! Who is the lucky guy? Ben Franklin? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Who is the lucky guy? Ben Franklin? :lmao: WA... sorry about that s***e storm with your family... I hope you can get something sorted out for your daughter tomorrow! I can't offer any advice really... I've always been completely hopeless when it comes to family politics Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Hmmmm forgot to post 'what I'm doing to go on' today... ... I'm mainly growing a huge spot on the end of my nose HUMPF. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Have fun! Who is the lucky guy? Ben Franklin? Ummm. NO!! They may be pursuing me, but I'm not taking the bait!! This is another guy! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Hmmmm forgot to post 'what I'm doing to go on' today... ... I'm mainly growing a huge spot on the end of my nose HUMPF. That's what happens with you fairskinned Englanders. But I'm Irish, so I can't talk. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 WA ,damn woman am I sorry to hear your eX and his W are being so stupid when it comes to the children or rather they are so selfish! throw that party and show your daughter a great time and give her all the love and support she could desire..I know ya will,it didn't need to be said :-) hope his family will grow a back bone in a day...but don't sound like the chances of that are going to happen..thats such a shame. Movin ans Sami..I'm Irish and have been tanning for a few months...I'm getting spots...yikes Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 You must be doing something other than laying in the sun, Miss LNF!! We're finally supposed to get some warm weather this weekend and I will be in the privacy of my yard with a nice long cool one, (or 2 or 3...!) sunning myself up!! Its about time! This freakin' weather!! Link to post Share on other sites
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