EphemeraEddie Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Dear Cali, Please take a look at my post of last night. I don't need that help anymore, because my wife never called this morning or at all today. It is now 2:38 PM and I am pretty bewildered, hurt, etc. The beautiful day we were to spend together today has come tumbling down upon me. This is truly very much unlike her. Is it possible some terrible tragedy has come up? Of course it is. Is that very likely? No! Reluctantly as hell, I must ask: Do I go into full NC? Deadly Afraid I Know The Answer, Eddie Menial Update: The time is now 5:51 PM. I am terribly confused, and miserable. At 5, I called her. She answered and said she would call me back. The Moron I am is stupid enough to think she will. Anybody out there have any guidance for someone like myself. Rest assured, all pride has long since been thrown out the window. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EphemeraEddie Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 Update: Thank goodness, the bleeding has stopped! 7:30 PM After leaving another handful of messages the wife called. She has the 21 YO son living with her. He too, unfortunately, is traveling down the same road his sister did. Drugs, alcohol, etc. My wife was apparently up all night baby-sitting him. Oh if you folks knew the half of it. Tommorrow, I will be picking her up an hour before she starts work. We will go out to breakfast. I am going to ramble on.... Hope noone minds. Only looking for some feedback. Over the last several years, I have gotten my stepson 4 jobs. One of which lasted 1-1/2 years. All of those jobs, he has managed to loose. Only weeks ago, did I get him the oppurtunity of a lifetime. If he plays his cards right, in the next couple years he could be hanging steel 10 or 15 stories up, and making $40 per hour. If, and only if He plays his cards right. Will he? With the road he's on, probably not. All this said, does my marriage stand a chance? Yuh, I do believe it does. My wife has told me she doesn't want a divorce. Over the last few days, I have begun to read Chapman's "Five Love Languages". I have no doubt, it will enlighten me. Like I said, I'm rambling. Love a little feedback. Anybody? Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Love a little feedback. Anybody? Again I'm answering instead of CaliGuy, this is starting to feel weird maybe you could sometimes not address a post only to him? Just a thought. Also I'm not sure I should try since you ignored my suggestion of your wife needing more therapy in the other thread, I'm not positive you're receptive enough at this point, it may well be that you just wish to vent, which is fine as well. Over the last few days, I have begun to read Chapman's "Five Love Languages". I have no doubt, it will enlighten me. It probably will, but no one book will enlighten you sufficiently, no one guide and no one thread, I'm afraid, it takes more work than that. All this said, does my marriage stand a chance? Yuh, I do believe it does. My wife has told me she doesn't want a divorce. That's a great sign! That she expressedly said she does not wish to get a divorce is a healthy sign in your direction. Now a few general points if I might.... you started by saying you abided by some rules from the guide, the NC, by referring to CaliGuy I presume it's his "Guide to Second Chances" you're speaking of, if so, which of the other steps he mentions on there have you taken? Particularly those connected to you not her. You also seem like you may be going through a rather emotional and confused time, your posts suggest you're all over the place, one minute you consider doing this, the next that, etc. It also seems like your emotional state is very volative, you seem to flip from optimism to the darkest of despairs over very little. While it's not unnatural to feel that way you may like to take a step back -or a few steps at that- and put your thoughts in order, view all your options, think about yourself not your marriage only and so on. All in all take some time to clear your thoughts and do some serious introspection. It may sound futile but I can almost guarantee it will prove helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 I agree with Alexandra on the emotional state. EphemeraEddie, I've experienced those emotions where you flip back and forth, not really sure what you can do or will do next. The best thing I did was went into individual counselling. I was able to vent/rant to her AND get an objective opinion (something nobody in my real life could do because they all loved me). It was very very helpful and I highly recommend it. Go into individual counselling, and when the time comes, you can go into marriage counselling. But i think the first step should be individual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EphemeraEddie Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 Good morning Ladies, and Thank You. Funny part about it, I was in to see my Doctor last week. I brought him up to date with what has transpired over the last several months. Sure enough, he suggested counseling. Fortunately, he also suggested one particular counselor. I will be following this up come Monday morning. Anyways, its now 8:45 AM, and I did pick my wife up for breakfast. Just a little time spent together. Apparently, she is at "whits end", with my Stepson. Asking me what she should do with regards to him. Briefly, I (again) explained I feel she continues to enable his behavior. Somehow, she needs let him mature! Anyways, Thanks again Ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
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