A game or not?

[Prettyinblack]

The b/f and I decided to give it another shot about a month ago. I am not ready to jump in with both feet but agreed, but slowly. I am not having sex with him until I feel 'right' about things and told him about a week ago that I was focusing on the Friendship part of the relationship.

Now, it feels like a game is being played here. Telephone tag........"Hi, it's me, call me when you can". A couple of days pass. Or,"ok, give me a ring and let me know what you're doing later..." A couple of days pass.

What the heck! Both of us are busy but his "Busy-ness" takes over is life and always had. "Interpretation: I don't feel like a priority."

Do I address this or keep on going playing this s***ty game?

[jerbear]

Sounds like one is messing around as in with the f word.

[westernxer]

Sounds like he doesn't want to focus on the "friendship." He'd rather f---.

 

Being a guy, I can see where he's coming from. Who needs friendship with an ex when you can hang with your buddies?

 

On the other hand, he's probably waiting for you to lower your guard, so he can move in for the kill. Probably too lazy to find someone new, or else he doesn't want to invest the time and effort required to do so.

 

The life of a predator...

[luvtoto]

or else he doesn't want to invest the time and effort required to do so.

Bingo!

 

I had a guy like this...he kept me on the back burner, so I went out on a date with another guy. When he finally got around to calling me, he got pissed off that I went on a date. Whatever!

[Prettyinblack]

you know, I've had a lot of time to think during the break-up and I don't want to be convenient for anybody! When he approached me to get back together, it was laden with the usual "I'm sorry" and this is what happened for me, the communication broke down, etc. This is coming from him. SO, I decided to give it another shot. I asked for 2 things.

1. get an STD test.

2. Counselling.

 

Both have been discussed but it's like time is supposed to heal all wounds and we are just supposed to pick up where we left off. That doesn't work for me. There were issues that led to the break up and they need to be resolved. We both dated others, but I never slept with anyone.

 

I told him one week ago that I was focusing on the friendship part of the relationship: that which he said was missing for him. But that sex wouldn't be happening until I felt sure we were on the right track.

 

SO now, it's like he calls me like friends but acts like we're still together.

My attitude is that if you want me back, prove it through actions. Urgh!

I won't soften on the nookie thing until...........

Maybe I should buy a vibe??? Lol

[jerbear]

Maybe I should buy a vibe??? Lol

 

while you're waiting on his action. I suggest the rabbit or that hitachi thingy. LOL

:lmao: and I'm a guy suggesting it! :lmao: :laugh:

[luvtoto]

while you're waiting on his action. I suggest the rabbit or that hitachi thingy. LOL

:lmao: and I'm a guy suggesting it! :lmao: :laugh:

Not bad advice, jerbear!

[Prettyinblack]

the joys of celibacy...............

[Guest]

while you're waiting on his action. I suggest the rabbit or that hitachi thingy. LOL

:lmao: and I'm a guy suggesting it! :lmao: :laugh:

 

Hitachi - definately Hitachi! Sure can keep ya from makin bad decisions based on hormones!

[Prettyinblack]

I lost my cool with him on Thursday.........He was supposed to call me on Tuesday evening to confirm or decline tentative plans we had made for Wednesday and didn't call. I called him Thursday to leave him a message and he answered!!! (OMG)

I said that I couldn't do this anymore.....he was supposed to call and didn't and I said couldn't do it anymore. He responded with an "Um hm". I explained why, that he was supposed to call and didn't and he said "well, you can call me" and I said , "sure Tracey, just work a little harder, eh?"

The lack of accountability made me really angry. I said "It was you who wanted to get back together and work things out and as far as I can see, I'm the only one working. A little effort goes along way." He said, "Tracey, we don't have to be mean and angry with one another..." I said ANGRY????? You're Fu****g with me<" He said I AM NOT fu****g with you, and I said "ok, just FU****g with my head and hung up. Urgh!

I haven't heard from him since and it's Saturday.

I hate the lack of effort and the expectations of things just returning back to "Normal". He needs to get his act together, don'tcha think?

[Chinook]

Sometimes in relationships that aren't working out the way we wanted... we do this passive-aggressive thing where we don't fix things when they fail... and we let the situ slide, and slide, and slide... until the other person makes the decision.

 

See what you did..? Personally, I think it was a good decision. You deserve better.

 

[Guest]

I went thru the same thing -when me and my ex reconciled, he was focused on "When am I gonna get some..." while I was "Let's first try to be friends, reconnect and not kill each other with past resentments".

 

Doesn't work. All guys want is the sex part. Us women need to feel an emotional connection before we give up the nookie but ya might as well give up.

 

The emotional connection will never come with any man - they're just not that way. So it's up to you to decide what to do with this guy.

[pinokano]

Don't put up with it at all. That is the number one cause of relationships failing poor comunication. Let him know how you feel. I wish My girlfriend would. It solves a misunderstanding before it becames a realll problem:rolleyes: