sophia10 Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Where to begin??? For over a year now, I have liked this guy... I was a client of his and we hit it off right off. Well, our flirting became more and more intense, we becames friends after about a year we finally tried to sleep together. When i say try..I mean we started and when it came to actual intercousre he couldnt keep it up. He then said that he had to much on his mind about it....that we talked about it to much prior... also that he knows I dont just hook up and that freaked him out alittle,so many excuses. He said that it just didnt feel right and that he was attracted to me but he couldnt do it. WTF???? I acted like it didnt bother me and like it wasnt important. I thought things would be weird after that... but no...It was weird how comfortable I still felt around him. Well,..he still kept flirting with me by touching me and saying sexual things.(he stopped saying sexual things for 1 month after) but never makes a move. I dont understand him!!! now.... 6 months later he is up to his old tricks. When ever I decide that I am going to pull away and work on over coming my feelings, he starts emailing or texting or even once when I didnt return his text he called. btw...2 months after "the incident" I quit being his client i COULDNT TAKE IT. If he doesnt want anything with me...Why doesnt he just let me go. I think it is mean what he is doing. When he looks at me I can tell he likes me... why doesnt he do anything about it.Why do guys do this to girls???? do they just want us to like them?? to have a #1 fan there to boost their ego? Im tired of it!! Does he just want to be my friend??? do guys say sexual things to friends that they have slept (or almost)? so many questions. PLEASE HELP!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 do they just want us to like them?? to have a #1 fan there to boost their ego? Yes, regularly, so do women. Flirting in itself is not really sexual. do guys say sexual things to friends that they have slept (or almost)? Again, yes, sometimes. However, I am tempted to think in your case it's not about a "guy's thing" or an ego trip but something far more simple than that, he most probably wants another chance. It sounds like that is what he's been signaling to you for the past few weeks. You seem to be fairly attracted to this man, how come there was only one shot? Even more, do you want to give it another try and see if it works this once? That a man becomes overly nervous during a first sexual encounter with a woman he fancies is a very common occurance. Being that nervous is enough to cause the "no go". In most cases, unless it's a clear one night stand he gets it right on a second or third try -unless there is something physically wrong with him but if that were the case he would have somehow either let you know or never attempted it much less kept the innuendo up, in the first place-. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sophia10 Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 Thank you for answering.... If he wanted another chance why doesn;t he just ask or try? I think he knows that I am still interested... How could he not know. AND I know from a reliable source that he has hooked up with other people latley...slutty girls. And this imformation is comming from another guy. Was it me then when he couldnt perform? or can he only be with one night stands? Plus, I feel like he holds back on our friendship. Whenever we start getting close he pulls away for awhile. As I am writing I am feeling like he just isnt worth it. He is sounding kind of gross. He protrays himself as something different to me...but what is supposed to do???? Tell me he is going to hook up? but,I always find out...and I dont even try. The guy that told me the new info said that I am totally girlfriend/marriage material...maybe he isnt ready for that. ( he has said that I am marriage type also) Link to post Share on other sites
Author sophia10 Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 oh... I dont know why there hasnt been another try.. I dont think I should be the one to make the move. or should I? I kind of started it last time... Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 It sounds like he could be commitment-phobic and you're challenging that. He can't perform because that means getting too close which explains why he can perform with ONSs. They're meaningless, gratuitous sex. You represent something much more solid. I question the wisdom of being available to someone with that kind of history on several levels, not the least of which is the possibility of STDs. Another would be the nature of his character. Lastly would be the issue of his possible phobia and/or the possibility he wants to try again only to prove a point to himself, and you, that he actually CAN perform after all. It all sounds more complicated than a possibly beginning relationship should be and not at all comfortable, much less sustainable. Link to post Share on other sites
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