I posted a while back about a 3 month marriage

[Lindzamay]

Ok so I was posting a while back about having been married for 3 months, and my husband just giving up and deciding that he couldnt be married to me any longer, and he didnt want any communication while he figured it out.

Well 2.5 weeks later he came back, and told me that its over, and we need to get divorced.

He and I are going to do a legal seperation for one year and divorce afterwards...We have talked almost every day since Thursday, but mostly about business - ie. divorce or seperation and how it works (my husband just happens to be an attorney)

Anyways, today he called me at work, he was NICE, and WARM, we actually had a chat and even kinda joked around and he sounded like he was back to being Dan and not this stranger...The last couple of weeks and when he told me it was over, it has been MURDER on me because he was acting cold, calculated and kinda nasty. His guard with me has been so far up, and I think its because he has decided this is over for whatever reason - "he needs to get back to his comfort zone and be alone" and the coldness has been his way of keeping me out.

It is a very very small window, but I am very glad that he is being himself with me...is this a good sign?

One other thing, he has closed the door on us, he even returned a fork that belongs to me, but he has kept hold of my keys...strange right?

Let me know what you think...I am moving on regardless but cant help but have thoughts of reconcilation.

[Alexandra]

First off there are no permanent things in life other than the end of it someone great once said. So the possibility of reconciliation is there in any relationship much more so a marriage be it as short as yours was. The question that invites itself after a while is "Should I hope for it or move in its direction?" and to many people, once the fumes are gone, after they heal and get themselves together the answer is "No."

 

You're clearly not there, it's far too soon.

 

I haven't read your other post, I will now, it sounds indeed, very strange and only incredibly-Vegas-like-rushed marriages end very soon and very abruptly, commonly both partners would have a modicum of interest in at least giving it a chance.

 

Now, I fully understand why you'd want things to work out at this point, it makes perfect sense. However, what were the issues that caused the break and led to divorce? Even if it was just him freaking out and thinking he has made a mistake as you seem to suggest, or rather, even more if that's the case. Are those issues resolved? Because if not, it is possible you are creating a pattern of on-again-off-again by being willing to get into it again before those are taken care of.

 

I'll try and dig out your other post now, from this one I can't figure out how long you two have been together before marriage or what on earth caused the falling apart.

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Anyways, today he called me at work, he was NICE, and WARM, we actually had a chat and even kinda joked around and he sounded like he was back to being Dan and not this stranger...The last couple of weeks and when he told me it was over, it has been MURDER on me because he was acting cold, calculated and kinda nasty. His guard with me has been so far up, and I think its because he has decided this is over for whatever reason - "he needs to get back to his comfort zone and be alone" and the coldness has been his way of keeping me out.

It is a very very small window, but I am very glad that he is being himself with me...is this a good sign?

 

This is a BAD sign!

 

 

One other thing, he has closed the door on us, he even returned a fork that belongs to me, but he has kept hold of my keys...strange right?

Let me know what you think...I am moving on regardless but cant help but have thoughts of reconcilation.

 

More bad signs!!

 

Sorry, but it seems that he's bent on the divorce path now. He's only friendly to you so that the divorce would go as he likes. Remember, he is an attorney - he is really looking out for his own financial interests!

 

Be extra vigilant with your finances now. Also, I don't think it's a bad idea to have a private investigator on your hubby. It sounds like he is having an affair with another woman. Also, it behooves you to contact a lawyer of your own.

[Lindzamay]

So my Husband as you know, was madly calling me for days without reaching me - and finally I call him back - he answers before the first ring is even up - LOL I said "oh I'm so sorry for not calling you back until now, but I havent' been home in the last few days"

 

So he tells me he has mail for me, and some paperwork and he starts going over some of the things in there because he wants to know if I agree or not agree, ect - The entire time I am happy as a clam, laughing, joking being the ME he knows..he was being nice - and i could hear something in his voice - he was trying to maintain a distance but I never let it bother me....he said he wanted to meet with me to discuss things and give me stuff - i said OK

 

30 minutes later he was calling me at work, with more questions - i said no tonight dude im at work.

 

Basically he wants to give me paperwork and to do the seperation agreement - This remember is the man who decided at the blink of an eye that he wants a divorce and wants one NOW.

 

Anyways - last night, he made no attempt to reach me - at all! I know he was home, I could hear him blaring his musci from my bedroom for pete sake....I of course did NOT call him.

 

I was under the impression he was in a big rush to have me legally seperated from him, and ect - and his actions are very odd indeed.

If he was so certain then wouldnt we have at least met up last night so he could give me this paperwork?

 

What do you think?