Ocd with deat and ex

[Brittanyjean06]

I will come out and say it, and be very honest.. I have problems one of them being worrying about death, a constant fear of dying, or loved ones dying. I never used to think like this or obsessve over things quiet heavily

 

It's like I tell my self, okay since all these teenagers have been dying, there is the biggest chance possible that you will die to. I have had alot of problems about worrying, paranoia ..my thoughts are twisted and sometimes can thing the oppisite of whats really right, but its a good thing I know this so I can calm myself down when thinking stuff is the way It really isn't.

 

Now alot of these problems progressed from being with an ex who as well twisted my thoughts around, and every since than It's been hard to get them back to where they need to be, i can give brief examples if you would like

 

but thats not the problem, the problem is anything can trigger the worrying of dying, or a loved one dying..Now I am on a mission to make my parents stop smoking, so they won't die early, It's like I anticipate stress

 

I know some of you might think seek professional help, but I can't do that right now..too much money

I know its normal to thikn about life, death an ex but believe me I never used to constantly think about it and obssessive over it..I have Ocd problems I guess

 

any advice?

[whichwayisup]

Yeah, I suggest going to see a cognitive behaviour therapist. This kind of therapy helps with anxiety (that is what I have), OCD, PTSD, etc...

 

Hopefully you will find a CBT therapist in your area. Check local hospitals, college/universities, medical buildings - Check in the white pages, google search in your area too.

 

Your thoughts are spinning out of control and affecting you so much and that's not a good thing. The mind is a very powerful thing and can take over in a negative way if you let this go on for too long...The good thing is though, the CBT will help retrain your brain into thinking more positive thoughts and gaining back control! Relearning and getting rid of old thought patterns. IT can and will work, as long as you're willing to work hard at this.

 

My thought on this is, what you put into CBT is what you get out of it!

 

Good luck and let me know if you find a therapist soon!

[Brittanyjean06]

Thanks alot! I realy just don't want to admit to myself that I realy have a problem with this, maybe there are some books I can read before doing a therapist.

 

wow now im gonna worry about how this will progress over time in too something really bad, but It's already bad I just gotta hang in strong with my thoughts until I am ready to tell my mom this. I have had alot of problems the past two years, like mental problems..

 

I will keep an update, I know everyone is going to tell me to go to a therapist and I will eventually just don't have the guts to, I feel with being so young I shoulden't need to

 

but your never too young to have mental problems are you

[whichwayisup]

I know how hard it is to ask for help and admit that you have a problem. Been there, my dear...It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! That and my first THERAPIST appt! LOL I nearly walked out of the office before I saw her! I was shakin' in my boots, full of anxiety and fear! But, I did it and since then life has gotten better.

 

You can use books to help, but I think you really ought to see a Therapist. You can do this Brittney! You have to because if this problem gets worse, your whole life will change for the worse too. I let my anxiety disorder get out of control, I denied it and ignored it until I got to the point where I DID NOT wanna end up in the hospital - I never reached that low spot, I was too scared to go there so I finally got my s*** together and DID something to better myself.

 

Nope, never too young or too old. And try not to look at it as mental problems. This is fixable, either with medication/therapy. Maybe you'll need to go on meds, maybe not. I didn't want to (though if my therapist had thought I needed to go that route, I would have tried it) go on meds so for me, the CBT has worked wonders.

 

If you find the right person to talk to, someone you can trust and fully open up with, it makes it even better.

[Brittanyjean06]

Well I just opened up to my mother about this, It took a little bit to actually get to the main core of the problem.

 

I trust my mother completely, she understands me so well. She told me to come to her whenever having these thoughts and to fixate on the good things on life, which any one would have said.

 

She also said it is very normal to think these things, I meen how can I not when every 5 minutes some one I know( of) is dying. She understands I worry too much, and I told her Im letting it control daily routines( not with being too scared to do nething, but emotionally) I need to reframe my mind and thoughts and I think only a therapist can do that

 

When someone tells you to just think differently, or reframe your mind you know its kind of difficult . Maybe a therapist can use certain techniques to where I realy can unscramble my thoughts and feel better..I am really going to try my self

 

thanks so much though for being so encouraging to go get help and stuff, I think I was just really sensative to go to my mother with out crying, and well It came out I coulden't help it

 

She asked if I was pmsing, and well sadly Im not, these are emotional problems I feel I have. did a therapist work good for you?? ( Which way is up)

[Vega]

If you can't stop yourself from thinking about it then instead try adding to the thoughts. What if you die? What do you want to do before you die? What do you want to say to loved ones before they die? Use those thoughts to your advantage and do those things, say those things, etc.

 

I used to think about how horribly embarassed I would be if I died and someone had to clean up my place and found embarassing items. So I cleaned 'em up!

[Brittanyjean06]

Well I just opened up to my mother about this, It took a little bit to actually get to the main core of the problem.

 

I trust my mother completely, she understands me so well. She told me to come to her whenever having these thoughts and to fixate on the good things on life, which any one would have said.

 

She also said it is very normal to think these things, I meen how can I not when every 5 minutes some one I know( of) is dying. She understands I worry too much, and I told her Im letting it control daily routines( not with being too scared to do nething, but emotionally) I need to reframe my mind and thoughts and I think only a therapist can do that

 

When someone tells you to just think differently, or reframe your mind you know its kind of difficult . Maybe a therapist can use certain techniques to where I realy can unscramble my thoughts and feel better..I am really going to try my self

 

thanks so much though for being so encouraging to go get help and stuff, I think I was just really sensative to go to my mother with out crying, and well It came out I coulden't help it

 

She asked if I was pmsing, and well sadly Im not, these are emotional problems I feel I have. did a therapist work good for you?? ( Which way is up)

 

I think since I am growing up, I have just become aware of the sad facts of life, but sad facts of life+ obbsessive thinking= DO not mix

[Brittanyjean06]

If you can't stop yourself from thinking about it then instead try adding to the thoughts. What if you die? What do you want to do before you die? What do you want to say to loved ones before they die? Use those thoughts to your advantage and do those things, say those things, etc.

 

I used to think about how horribly embarassed I would be if I died and someone had to clean up my place and found embarassing items. So I cleaned 'em up!

 

 

I guess that can sum up to being the best you can be in life, always !

[whichwayisup]

Well I just opened up to my mother about this, It took a little bit to actually get to the main core of the problem.

 

The more open you are about this with your mom, family and close friends, the better you will feel. I hid my anxiety from SO many people because I was scared to tell them because I was afraid of what they might think of me. This included co-workers, immediate family, friends, neighbours. Most know already now and I tell you, it feels good NOT to worry what other people think of me and my anxiety disorder. Though, to be honest, I did lose afew friends, but I figured if they walked away from me because of this ONE issue that affected me so much in my life, they were not good friends to begin with. It hurt, but now I see it as a positive because I don't need people like that in my life who won't support and love me...

 

I trust my mother completely, she understands me so well. She told me to come to her whenever having these thoughts and to fixate on the good things on life, which any one would have said.

 

That is good, she'll be strong for you and be there for you always when you need her through your rough times.

 

She also said it is very normal to think these things, I meen how can I not when every 5 minutes some one I know( of) is dying. She understands I worry too much, and I told her Im letting it control daily routines( not with being too scared to do nething, but emotionally) I need to reframe my mind and thoughts and I think only a therapist can do that

 

Yes, it is normal to think ALL these things, but if they're in your thoughts daily and alot throughout your day, that isn't healthy and it is obessive thinking. It adds MORE fears and worries that you don't need.

 

You can't control the future, all you have is the now. I used to worry like crazy and finally I've learned to NOT think so far ahead into the future because it really serves no purpose.

 

Yes, the therapist will teach you how to control those thoughts and not let them spin out of control. It is hard to do on your own - The therapist teaches you tools and techniques on how to change your thought pattern and avoidance behaviours. (Like if you avoid going to certain places because of fears...You learn exposure therapy to face the fears and learn how to deal with them, and control them.)

 

When someone tells you to just think differently, or reframe your mind you know its kind of difficult . Maybe a therapist can use certain techniques to where I realy can unscramble my thoughts and feel better..I am really going to try my self

 

Yep! See above answer... This doesn't happen overnight, it comes with alot of patience, help and work on your behalf to do the changing. The payoff is HUGE though and it's worth it!

thanks so much though for being so encouraging to go get help and stuff, I think I was just really sensative to go to my mother with out crying, and well It came out I coulden't help it

 

You're welcome! Anytime! I know how hard this is and getting support, online too, does help alot.

She asked if I was pmsing, and well sadly Im not, these are emotional problems I feel I have. did a therapist work good for you?? ( Which way is up

My therapist is amazing! I feel very lucky to have found her and yes, she has helped me more than anybody.

 

I do also have to add, hormones and PMS do come into play, atleast with me. I know during my period (the first few days) my anxiety level is much higher and also when I ovulate. Even certain PMS days, I stay away from caffeine and sugar because it makes me feel anxious.

 

Do you do yoga? If not, start doing it. It helps relax your mind, body and also helps your breathing, which helps you keep calmer during those awful times when you are panicking or worrying.

[Brittanyjean06]

Yeah talking about it sure does help, because your not alone!

 

thanks so much though because the advice has really helped

 

I am not very flexible but always wanted to do yoga, hearing that it is a stress reliver and what not

 

Should I google it? get all the stuff that comes with it, and well what does come with it? that mat or the ball lol

[whichwayisup]

Flexible or not, you will be eventually...Yoga just tones you up and it just happens! Trust me on this one. There are many 20 minute/30 minute beginners video's too, so you can do it at home, at your own pace. Even just putting on relaxing music and doing stretches, deep breathing makes a difference.

 

I have the mat and the ball, I rarely use the ball for yoga! Usually my nieces end up playing with it or I sit on it while on the computer. The mat I use everytime I do yoga.

 

Google it! Even try afew beginners classes with your mom, that would be fun!

[vi_pn_babe25]

The fact about OCD is that it doesn't just come on suddenly, you pretty much have it throughout your childhood and adulthood. Yes, certain things can trigger it, like emotional distress, but more than likely depending how old you are, you would've already showed definite signs of OCD disorder alot sooner than now. I'm talking from experience, I have OCD(diagnosed by psychologist) and I've had it ever since I was a child, I just didn't realize why I was acting the way I was until it hit me hard while in highschool. And like you're saying, I too had irrational thoughts of people dying especially my family or even myself, but I took a little more extreme than what you're talking about. I'm not saying you wouldn't have a slight case of it, but I think it's more of having anxiety rather than OCD because usually the case is that with me anyway, you obsess about something and then you take action (compulsion) to relieve that anxiety. So if you truely believe that you are actively stressing out on something that just won't go away on its own then I suggest seeing a doctor. More or less though it sounds like you have anxiety disorder. I overcame my OCD, not because I used to take medicine, but I honestly think it's something that you just deal with, grow out of and move on from, because even though I might still have it in some sense, I've worked my way through it and think more rationally about things now and don't feel the need to "act" on it.