Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 X-cellent post, X-er! Link to post Share on other sites
TravelLight Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 I don't beleive CG titled his guide "Formula for Second Chances". That's because there is no formula. It's guidance and advice. It seems some people got their noses out of joint because it was packaged up as a guide. Not one persons circumstances are the same. But you can take things on board from other people. Well, personally I think the loss of CG is Loveshacks loss. I found CG's posts positive and they helped me out at times. Good luck CG. Hope it works out for you Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 Caliguy has decided to apply NC with LS forever Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 Caliguy has decided to apply NC with LS forever So...you're saying hell be back, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 So...you're saying hell be back, right? Of course he will be back.. 10-1 he is reading this thread right now Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 Of course he will be back.. 10-1 he is reading this thread right now Yes, of course. According to his version of NC, you apply it for awhile until you're really weak and down and then you change it to LC. Link to post Share on other sites
Cade Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 So...you're saying hell be back, right? ........... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 ........... At least SOMEONE got my dumb little joke! Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 You can get a pretty good idea whether or not he's reading these threads by clicking on his profile and checking the time of his last activity on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Of course he will be back.. 10-1 he is reading this thread right now I'm 99% sure he's reading this thread. His last activity on LS was at 5:31pm EDT Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I'm 99% sure he's reading this thread. His last activity on LS was at 5:31pm EDT Yes, but you can read posts without signing in. Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Yes, but you can read posts without signing in. I know that but the time of a person's last activity on LS is proof positive that they are reading the boards. If they never sign in then there is some uncertainity at least about them reading the boards. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I know that but the time of a person's last activity on LS is proof positive that they are reading the boards. If they never sign in then there is some uncertainity at least about them reading the boards. I beg to differ, Sherlock. With cookies allowed, all they have to do is run their browser and hit the LS home page. They don't have to read anything at all, much less this thread. And "proof positive" is a little hard to verify, as it could be Caliguy's ex using his machine after a night of hot lovin. Or his cat could be walking on the keyboard. Leave the poor guy alone. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I don't agree that there are 'too many posts on loveshack that are negative' etc as CaliGuy says. I see tons of positive advice, people encouraging others and so forth. When CaliGuy was posting his online dating stories about that girl who said "YOU HAD ME WITH THE PHOTOS UNTIL I READ YOU ARE ALL INTO KID THINGS. I STOPPED THEIR." (or whatever line it was) most people were behind him. 75% of the members of loveshack were behind his point of view, and the people that saw the other side of the story lightly objected. There are other cases too where people have been supportive of CG. And of course I've seen countless female LS members flirt and banter with him during threads It seems strange that when the majority of ppl in this thread (say 75%) aren't agreeing with him, and choose to do so very bluntly - suddenly CaliGuy gets very defensive and decides to leave the forums. It's too bad he has selectively chosen this thread as an example for negative advice, when in truth people are just giving their honest opinions. I really don't know what CaliGuy hopes to get out of his ex. Well okay, we know what he is hoping for...but I don't know what he expects out of it. Her to breakup with her bf and come chasing after him? I mean...not only is he meeting up with his ex, but an ex who is in a relationship. I don't see how any good can come of this. What, are they gonna become good buddies or something? lol... I think after CaliGuy finds out it's not gonna work out, he might come back to loveshack...if his pride doesn't get in the way. And even if by some miracle it does work out the way he is hoping, all people were doing is giving their opinions and advice based on their own experience. I mean, you can't fault everyone for objecting against CaliGuy meeting up with his ex. I don't think it's a smart move to meet up with an ex who a) broke up with you b) you still have feelings for, and c) who's in a relationship. It's just a recipe for disaster. Best of luck, CaliGuy. Link to post Share on other sites
radiation7740 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I think I'll leave LS too. Caliguy has a point about this place being depressing. I think coming to this place has worked against me than it has for me. All it does is fuel my depression. This will be my last post. I'm starting a boycott. Maybe if enough people leave then LS will close down for good. I think it should be closed down permanently. Anyone else care to join the cult? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I think I'll leave LS too. Sorry to see you leave R7740. It would have been interesting to see what you'd say in post #54. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Sorry to see you leave R7740. It would have been interesting to see what you'd say in post #54. ... Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 I think I'll leave LS too. Caliguy has a point about this place being depressing. I think coming to this place has worked against me than it has for me. All it does is fuel my depression. This will be my last post. I'm starting a boycott. Maybe if enough people leave then LS will close down for good. I think it should be closed down permanently. Anyone else care to join the cult? Not a bad idea. This place is turning into one huge joke. Too many whiners here who cannot accept responsibility for their choices and plenty of them who cannot stand to hear anything that *hurts* them. Aww... boo f***in' hoo! They think that they can joke their way out of their difficulties. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 They think that they can joke their way out of their difficulties. Some people can, why would that bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Some people can, why would that bother you? Oh, it doesn't *bother* me... in fact, I find it amusing. It's a weak coping skill IMO. One should be able to face their issues head-on and deal with them instead of turning them into late-nite teevee fodder. And some people here, despite numerous posts directed toward them, will STILL go out and commit the same dumb *mistakes* from before. It's like the advice that is given to them just goes into one ear and straight out the other. A real waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Those are two different topics. One concerns people's personalities and their choices when it comes to coping mechanisms. The second one seems to be about the futile exercise giving advice on here, seems to be at times. Oh, it doesn't *bother* me... in fact, I find it amusing. It's a weak coping skill IMO. One should be able to face their issues head-on and deal with them instead of turning them into late-nite teevee fodder. It is indeed a coping technique. Why you would label it as "weak" I'm not sure I understand. Plenty of people go through life using "forced optimism" they purposely stay upbeat and seemingly positive in any situation. I don't know that doing so is necessarily a bad idea, it works brilliantly for many of them. That's not to say they don't feel real (negative) emotions too, it is just that they react to them differently. If you can explain the "weak" adjective to me and why this particular skill is worse than any other, I'm all ears. And some people here, despite numerous posts directed toward them, will STILL go out and commit the same dumb *mistakes* from before. It's like the advice that is given to them just goes into one ear and straight out the other. A real waste of time. Frustration when one doesn't do as we think they should, is powerful even when we didn't bother to give advice, leave alone when we do. I doubt you're really finding futility and inefficience a real problem or you would have long left by now being that you're on an advice forum. Here, typing your heart out for 45 minutes giving crispy, clear and -to your mind- genius-like advice to someone only to get no answer or worse, get an answer from the OP that they've done the complete contrary, is a very common occurence. And it's as it should be, none of us here, no matter how experienced or knowledgeable, is the posessor of the "one and only way". Surely you're not discovering this 2 years and 2700 posts later, are you? Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Plenty of people go through life using "forced optimism" they purposely stay upbeat and seemingly positive in any situation. I don't know that doing so is necessarily a bad idea, it works brilliantly for many of them. Well, s***, I suppose I am just a tad more *serious* than the average LSer. I believe in dealing with issues on a serious note instead of being comical about them. I mean, I certainly don't find issues relating to, say, drug/drink addiction or abuse or suicide being *comical*. Frustration when one doesn't do as we think they should, is powerful even when we didn't bother to give advice, leave alone when we do. I doubt you're really finding futility and inefficience a real problem or you would have long left by now being that you're on an advice forum. Here, typing your heart out for 45 minutes giving crispy, clear and -to your mind- genius-like advice to someone only to get no answer or worse, get an answer from the OP that they've done the complete contrary, is a very common occurence. And it's as it should be, none of us here, no matter how experienced or knowledgeable, is the posessor of the "one and only way". Surely you're not discovering this 2 years and 2700 posts later, are you? Nope, not a new discovery at all. Seems like most people refuse to learn. And it's not a problem for ME personally, frankly they can do whatever the f*** they wish BUT they shouldn't come here and bitch about it knowing full well that they shouldn't have done it in the first place AND after receiving advice telling them to not do it. I see that quite often here and one in particular stands out like a sore thumb. I won't name names, of course, but she is probably the most analytical member here. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 First off to those annoyed about how Off Topic this may be: A. it's not absolutely off topic if you read it well enough and B. CaliGuy already said he won't post updates and made the grand exit act so this is more or less an abandoned thread. However if it's a terrible LS insult we can get on another one, I suppose. Well, s***, I suppose I am just a tad more *serious* than the average LSer. I believe in dealing with issues on a serious note instead of being comical about them. Maybe you are, if that works for you then that's great, you found the working coping strategy. If someone would come about tomorrow and ordered you to have a happy-go-lucky attitude at all times as that's the best coping strategy could you shift? I think not, so think of the other shoe... I mean, I certainly don't find issues relating to, say, drug/drink addiction or abuse or suicide being *comical*. Well really that depends on what you mean. Did the OP find it comical? If so maybe they were trying to cope and present it in a lighter note or maybe it was self irony, both very common reactions to vulnerability. Did the ones responding made fun of the issue? I've very rarely seen that on LS as opposed to other places. I have yet to read the "Hey dude, feckin' jump if you wanna, quit bothering us" reply but you know what? I wouldn't be too shocked, it's a common practice in dealing with suicide. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm still not convinced that the "light" coping skill is "weaker". Nope, not a new discovery at all. Seems like most people refuse to learn. Hats off for that nifty piece of self irony;) And it's not a problem for ME personally, frankly they can do whatever the f*** they wish BUT they shouldn't come here and bitch about it knowing full well that they shouldn't have done it in the first place AND after receiving advice telling them to not do it. I see that quite often here and one in particular stands out like a sore thumb. I won't name names, of course, but she is probably the most analytical member here. Now, bare in mind I'm rather new here AND have no PMs:lmao: hence I am completely out of what seems like a longer ongoing dispute. The reason why I say that is that from what very little I've gathered from other threads the complaint is that you've been aggressive and I am willing to bet others were towards you as well. So again I am not taking any sides here and have zero idea what the history is here. Whoever this person is -and despite some guesses I do not know for a fact whom it is- it doesn't matter. What would matter is if you SERIOUSLY, in your own self confessed manner, stopped and thought what it takes for someone to come back on LS and post that they went against advice and ask for help. Doesn't it take balls? I'm not talking about efficiency here, just asking you if there's no merit in the courage that sometimes takes. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 And some people here, despite numerous posts directed toward them, will STILL go out and commit the same dumb *mistakes* from before. It's like the advice that is given to them just goes into one ear and straight out the other. A real waste of time. People here have directed helpful posts towards you before, Smoochie. Did their advice change your point of view or did you disagree with their insight and let it go in one ear and out the other? Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 People here have directed helpful posts towards you before, Smoochie. Did their advice change your point of view or did you disagree with their insight and let it go in one ear and out the other? Well for one thing he's decided not to answer my points Maybe he's offline. Link to post Share on other sites
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