Baybee9404 Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I Have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, he has a 3 year old daughter with someone else and he has full sole custody of the child so she lives with us. This past weekend the baby went to visit her mother for the first time in like a month for the weekend and the mother noticed that her daughter was calling everyone mommy and called my boyfriend to ask him she does it at home too. My boyfriend told here yes she does, i think it is a phase she is going through becasue she even calls me mommy when im her daddy. The mothers response was good because i dont want my daughter calling your butt ass girlfriend mommy because she's not her mother. There was no need of that so i got mad and took the phone from my boyfriend and told her nicely if you have something to say about me say it to my face and she got on the whole oh did your so called boyfriend tell you that he cheated on you with me 3 times and told when it happened. I just said to her thank you for telling and hung up on her. I went to my boyfriend and asked him the questions directly did you cheat on me? And he got all mad and was like i cant believe you believe that bitch, she's all screwed up so she wants me to be screwed. I never cheated on you, i cant believe you dont believe me. So i was like ok so where did she sleep when the baby had the doctors the next day and he was like up stairs at my brothers house, so i told him im going to ask your brother and the whole story changed and he told me the truth about her sleeping in his house that night. Can someone please tell me who to believe his ex or him? I want to know the truth and need to know how i can find out the truth please help me!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 i wouldn't fall for any of this. yes, he cheated on you. and what's this baby that you're talking about? are you referring to the 3 year old child? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted May 3, 2006 Author Share Posted May 3, 2006 Thank you for leading me in the right direction on who to believe. I had a serious feeling that she was telling me the truth. Yes the baby is his 3 year old daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I think there are two sides to every story...and trust is major in a relationship...you need to talk to him when things have calmed down and see what his reaction is then...I just feel that his EX sounds pretty vindictive to even say that like she did about you to begin with and then to tell you that stuff sounds like a spiteful b**ch...not only that I have issues in distrust why a mother doesn't have custody of her child at all..not even joint...? Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 it doesn't mean that i am right. but from the information you give, it seems pretty obvious. and i would get out now while you have no legal ties to these people. it's unfortunate that this happened, but it's best for you to move on and not let yourself be treated this way. not only did he lie to you, but if he wanted to keep sticking his dick in his child's mother, they should have stayed together, or he should not have assumed another relationship. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I personally think he cheated on you. Maybe the ex did it on purpose to break you up but the fact is he went along with it and tried to cover his tracks by lying about where he slept then confessing when you said you would find out from his brother who had slept where. He was also being overly defensive in his denial which is another sign he was lying. Also the fact she said he cheated 3 times seems like she's not lying. If she was lying for the only reason to cause trouble, she could have said once because it would've had the same or at least similar consequence. Link to post Share on other sites
TeaCooler Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I think there are two sides to every story...and trust is major in a relationship...QUOTE] this is true. but his side turns out to be lies. so, yeah, huge red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Clear and convincing evidence of cheating. But you can never be 100% sure. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayslearn Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Maybe some clear and open discussions are in order??d Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted May 4, 2006 Author Share Posted May 4, 2006 Thank you to All that have helped me realize i was just being blind. To update everyone I have since left him and moved back in with my mom. He still says its not true, but ill go with what my heart says not my head. So thanks again to everyone who responed to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 I think there are two sides to every story...and trust is major in a relationship...QUOTE] this is true. but his side turns out to be lies. so, yeah, huge red flag. Usually when someone gets defensive it is because they have something to hide. I am with Teacooler on this . He cheated and don't want to tell you. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 I got a call from my ex boyfriend last night he was crying and sounded like he was serious, He promised me and swear on his daughters soul that he was telling me that truth and would fo anything i wanted him to do to prove it to me if i just let him. Should i let him or should i just stay away? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 ...he was crying and sounded like he was serious, He promised me and swear on his daughters soul that he was telling me that truth and would do anything i wanted him to do to prove it... Unfortunately, I don't know of any short term actions that can prove he did not cheat or that he is not a cheater. That's the reality of this type of situation. If he can calm down and think clearly for a moment, he should realize that. Should i let him or should i just stay away? That decision is SO personal! I don't know what he brings to you in the way of love and companionship, and how that weighs - for you - against his lies and cheating. He's crying from the pain of losing you. It would be great if that proved his faithfulness, or his promise to be true in the future. But...it doesn't it. All you have on the plus side are his words...and his actions contradict them. So, if you want my vote, it's for you to go NC and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 Thank you for your advice, and i was thinkin about it long and hard last night and can up with a way he can. Tell me what you think? i was thinking that on Saturday he has to drop his daughter off to her mother for the day, so i figured that one i can follow him and wait in the KFC parking lot in a different car with out him knowing im there and can hear & see what is going on. Two i will tell him the only way he can prove it to me is to call me when her mother is there to get the baby and put his cell phone in his pocket and he has to confront her saying why did you lie to my girlfriend about me cheating on her with you. I will really know then by her reaction because there whould be no reason for her to lie when she thinks that im not there to hear or see what she says. So i figured that way here i can see if he does something sneaky with his phone like hang up if she gives him a bad reacrion and here & see what she says to him either way. Let me know if you think it will work Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I didn't quite follow the whole maneuver, but I do agree that the ex would likely be truthful about whether they had sex if she does not know that she is being overheard. Seems like a lot of work for YOU, when he is the one who screwed up and should be going the extra mile. I'd also consider the chances of this backfiring, and your presence being detected or suspected by the ex or your bf. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 cheater or not, do you really want to be a part of this "baby mamma drama" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baybee9404 Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 This is an update to my post. Last night i got a phone call from my ex boyfriends daughters mother. So apologized for what she had said to me and told me that she said what she said because she was anger and now wants no problems with me and knows that Donny does love me alot because she had tried to sleep with him but he said no i love my girlfriend get out of here the times that she tired. She went on and on about how bad her life is and nothing i wanted to her about her life. So we were all wrong about him what whatever its the past right. Thanks to all Link to post Share on other sites
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