C Posted September 16, 1999 Share Posted September 16, 1999 My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years. We both went to different colleges after we graduated from high school and kept in touch very well for the first two semesters. The third semester I transferred to her college to be with her and everything went well. The fourth semester I left again to a different college and didn't keep in touch with her very well, but still loved her greatly. In the middle of this semester she started getting confused and told me she didn't know if she loved me anymore. She said she didn't know what she wanted anymore. She told me she wasn't interested in anyone else. She just didn't know. This was so devastating for me, I could safely say it was the worst day of my life. I felt so lonely, I couldn't think of anyone else except her while I was gone, my grades suffered, I didn't eat for a week. When we both were home during the summer we still stayed together, but something was missing. She didn't seem happy anymore to be with me. Before, she would smile and hold my hand. Now, during our fifth semester at college, we both go to the same school, and are still together, but ever since that one event 5 months ago it's been difficult to get through each day. We see each other every day, but when we walk together she won't hold my hand or even kiss me good bye anymore. I tell her I love her all the time, buy her flowers, chocolates, candy, and I've always been very kind to her. I offer my help to her all of the time. I just want her to be happy. I don't know what to do. She tells me she still _likes_ me, but she still doesn't know if she loves me or not. I wake up in the middle of the night in tears, wishing I could re-live my life 5 months ago and maybe she would still love me today. This is so hard. I care and for her and love her so much; I would do anything for her. She told me she doesn't want to break up with me, either. So, I've just been as nice as I could to her, be patient, and let her decide for herself. But, this whole process is total hell on me; I don't know what she is thinking anymore, she seems emotionless most of the time. She hardly ever smiles around me anymore. I feel like a part of me has died. Every day for the last five months has been so difficult. I am very nice and patient and loving to her, but I don't feel like I'm getting anything back anymore. I don't feel like I'm getting back what I'm putting out. Please, somebody give me advice, I feel so alone. She's my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her. We are both 21 and both of us are each other's first kiss. C Link to post Share on other sites
Asrael Posted September 17, 1999 Share Posted September 17, 1999 I think I'm feeling the same way your girlfriend is. I've been with my boyfriend for one year and I've just been really confused. We met at college and usually see each other every day. But things have been weird with both of us lately so I'm confused. I think I just need some time to think. My advice to you is to ask her how she feels. This may not be an answer you'll like, but have her tell you exactly how she feels and tell her how you feel. I don't think it's that she doesn't love you anymore, perhaps she just scared of the future. You've been together 3 years, you're getting older, and she's probably really scared. Another thing, is you said you were each other's first kiss. She may be wondering what it's like to be with other people. This also doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, it just means that she wants to test out the waters a little before deciding to stick with you forever, if that's the view you share. Most of all, give her time and space. Let her have some time to herself to think about things and don't pressure her at all; this will just scare her even more. Just keep up the communication and be her friend as much as you can, as well as her boyfriend. She needs to think, but she also needs you to be there for her. ~Asrael Link to post Share on other sites
David Posted September 22, 1999 Share Posted September 22, 1999 It may be a good thing that your lover isn't up and throwing roses everytime she sees you! After being in a relationship for a long time, people tend to take it for granted, which isn't just a bad thing. She may be very confortable around you. I mean, if you are too nice, that is not natural..for the most part. But then again, she may have lost respect for you, if she is being mean, and you are buying her all of this stuff, she may know that she can do whatever she wants, and still get her box of chocolates Link to post Share on other sites
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