six years and look where I am

[klferis]

So my boyfriend and I have been together for six years. Sure we talk about getting married and having kids, but we figure hey, we are only 25, we have time. At different points in our relationship, we each felt insecurities and jealousy-probably because of our past significant others cheating on us. Which leads me to now. I am not much of a drinker, so he goes out on the weekend without me, usually with his brother and friends. I always know where he is and he always picks up his phone. But recently I came upon the fact that he had signed up for different websites with profiles stating that he was looking for a discreet encounter, etc, etc.This doesn't bother me too much, I am not against porn and I think talking in chat rooms is just a habit I never broke of him.But a particular conversation made me more curious. While he was sleeping last night, I went and looked at different stuff on his cell phone. On his contact list was a womens first name and number that I didn't recognize, call logs showed about six times in the last two months that he's recieved or missed calls from her.And he's text messeged her and got responses too. Nothing big, just hey what are you doing, and where ya been lately. So today I said to my boyfriend that I had gotten a couple calls on my cell phone that began like this womens phone number (which I know is a cell phone) and asked if he knew anyone with a number like that. He said no and we got into an argument about trust and hime saying that he didn't wanna have a relationship like the ones you see on talk shows where one partner is checking the others cell phone, etc. Well, later today (8 hours later in which we weren't together the whole time) he asked what was wrong. I said nothing and he asked if I was still upset over earlier. So he precedes to give me his cell phone says to look at it if it makes me feel better. So I took it and looked and got far enough to see that the women's name was no longer on his contact list. So he obviously waited to we were apart to delete her information (but I wrote the number down last night). We also had been talking about geting married next summer, but he says that he really doesn't wanna be pressured into it. So what do I do now? Where to go from here? Admit I seen her name and messeges, call her myself and figure out who she is, or try to break it off and kiss 6 years goodbye? HELP!!!!!!!!!

[jerbear]

wow... sorry to hear luvmy2ns.

 

5 years is a long time.

[MadDog]

No matter how you view it, it's pretty shady to have to delete the call history from your cell phone to show your girlfriend, "See. I have nothing to hide." Obviously if he had to delete it, he's hiding it.

 

I think the bottom line here is you don't have a boyfriend you can trust. He's shown you that he will deceive you. Once trust is lost, it's nearly impossible to get back, at least from the same person. I know it's giong to be really hard after so long but breaking up might be your best option at this point. Better now than several years and kids from now.

[Walk]

Deleting the name and text messages... wow. That's beyond shady in my book. I've got calls on my cell from guys, but I'm not doing anything wrong, so I have no reason to hide them. If my guy saw it and asked, then I'd tell him the truth. This guys in my class and we have a group paper due..

 

Worst part is, if you confront him about it, how could you ever know he was telling you the truth when he's already lied about what's in his phone... And if you call him out on the lie, then he'll get pissed you went through his phone and attempt to turn it all back onto you. Like it's your problem and he did nothing wrong.

 

I would've had a problem with the "discrete" relationship. To me that shouts he's cheating on you... but that's just my view.