Life's Confusion Posted October 9, 2001 Share Posted October 9, 2001 Hey guys, I am new to the forum. I have this really troublesome and depressing problem that i need your advise on. I went with my ex for about one month last year, and we broke up on New Year's Eve. It hurt me really bad and took me very long to "get over" it. Last week he asked me to give him another chance. I said yes, but found that I don't feel anything for him anymore, so I told him that after five days. I feel REALLY bad about doing that, but I think it was necessary. Now I found that it hurt him alot, and he had suicidal thoughts. This really makes me feel terrible. I really dont know what to do to make it all okay again. To make it worst, I also have this guy friend that I know loves me and tells me this for a long time now, I have had feelings for him for quite some time now, but it is getting stronger. I feel that if I try to get together with him, I'll eventually hurt him as I did my ex. Either way, I would wound up hurting somebody(ies). I really dont know how to solve this issue. please, please give me some advise.Thanks guys. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 10, 2001 Share Posted October 10, 2001 If I understand what you're saying, you're dealing with two guys, one of whom you used to like but you guys broke up; the other you currently like but you're wary of getting into another relationship. Is that right? If so: guy #1 needs to deal with the fact that you don't want to be romantically involved with him. Plain and simple. It's not your fault and he should be glad that you were honest with him right away. His mention of suicide is manipulative and probably melodramatic -- and it's certainly not something you should be feeling guilty about. As for guy #2, if you're having doubts about your ability to be in a relationship right now, don't do it. I it doesn't sound like you did anything that was hurtful to guy #1 and I certainly don't think that would affect how you are with guy #2. But if you're doubting yourself I think you ought to avoid getting involved with someone else. Maybe you need to take some time to get yourself straight on where you stand and what you want. Having guy #1 come back out of the blue after all the pain you went through was probably a bit of a shock. I think I'd be feeling a bit frazzled by it. Perhaps you might try to keep communication open with guy #2 and see where you are in a few weeks or months. But don't blame yourself for guy #1's woes -- they're not your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
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