Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Hmm... I think we've all gone off on a tangent here... so any input on the original question by the original poster? I've said my piece... I vote 'NO'. Yes, I already put my POV, before the idiots came trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Whatever, Teag... you should take your story to the Infidelity boards on this forum, or SurvivingInfidelity.com. etc. You can go On and On and On and name call all you like. We didn't have sex or fall for your dumbass husband... so go and tell someone who gives a s***e. byeeee. Whatever, Um if you actally READ my post I wasn't calling ANYONE on HERE a slut, so if I offended you thats YOUR problem. I was trying to give the ORIGINAL poster the W perpective. I did post yo YOUR post so GET OVER IT. I don't thing we should argue about who hurts more. I think we should all agree that we are all on this forum because all hurt... probably equally so, but the pain we feel as an OW is indeed very different from the BS. Teag, I remember your story. I hope things are going better in your marriage. Any updates? Thanks you. And things are going great with me & my H now, we communicate alot better now & we're becoming a family again. We're going to MC also & I'm not completely sure its helping but we've only been to 2 of them so far. but its wonderful thank you for asking. Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I agree. There is no way to be friends. As a recent cheater myself this is something I'm currently struggling with. Once you cross that line there is no more being friends. You can tell yourself you will be able to just compartmentalize the attraction and focus on only the friendship but it's totally bunk. I agree with Owl that it is an attempt to hang on to whathever you can. And you can read the pathos in the original post -- he really wants to hold on to the relationship, the attraction, in short the affair and not something neutral like friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I don't disagree that the choice of nomenclature could have been more tasteful but from having interacted with her in the past, I think that she's speaking from her own pain too. If I recall correctly, she did hold her H responsible for his action too and didn't really lay the whole blame on the OW. Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 [Teag..... I'm still not liking the "Judgement". I would be asking you H some questions.... Like why is she still hanging around?? I can bet my last dollar, he's keeping her there!/QUOTE] WASN'T JUDGING ANYONE HERE. I was jusdging HER & I assure YOU she's NOT still hanging around. Considering I know everything about her & considering she's too scared of going around my H again after I beat the crap out of her when I found them cuddling together (& my husband I didn't leave him untouched) & yes I keep very close track of my H now & I have my ways to keep track of her too. Now go on with your own lives & give advice to the ORIGINAL poster. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Teag..... Exactly.....my whole point "Judging her" Mmmmm....I believe that is "Judgement" Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Ah Sami, Teag is nice... I've posted to her many times on the infidelity forum where she shared her story and her pain. She's had it hard too. She also posting what ross' wife would feel like if she knew about the EA and I think that's good for him to know. Don't you think? I don't disagree that the choice of nomenclature could have been more tasteful but from having interacted with her in the past, I think that she's speaking from her own pain too. If I recall correctly, she did hold her H responsible for his action too and didn't really lay the whole blame on the OW. Your completely right, I did hold HIM to blame mostly BUT considering she KNOWS me, is nice to my face & has played with my daughter, yes I choose to call her a slut b/c thats what SHE is. I would hope most OW on here haven't been face to face the the W & played w/ their children while seeing their H. I kicked my H out of the house & he begged to come home. ONLY b/c there was no sex involved I let him come home. & I wasn't trying to offend anyone HERE. And thank you :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Teag... get yourself an education here on TOW forum. Before you care to call anyone a slut. You really have no right to call any of us (and we are all here) by that name. And... your husband did what..? On YOU? Someone he swore to what...? love..? honour..? And it's US TO BLAME...? Get a grip, girl, or feck off from OUR FORUM. Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Teag might be nice but... she comes here talking about SLUTS... she better go home. Bye Teag. So then I can look for you to be kicking out the OW who come in here talking about how the wife of their MM is a b*tch. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Your completely right, I did hold HIM to blame mostly BUT considering she KNOWS me, is nice to my face & has played with my daughter Nothing to do with what HE told HER about how crap you were in bed, how OVER his marriage was... how he was leaving you... wanted to be with her..? Yeah... read on this forum and tell us... who is the SLUT... (MM?) Your hubby..? Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sorry... didn't see her in the OW forum. Was she for real? This thread is in OW forum... so... I respond in that vein. You can deal how you will with YOUR trolls. I remember a few. I remember an OW who wrote about how the b*tch wife was taking all of her husband's money before the divorce. My point was simply that I think you are overreacting. Teag never called anyone in here a slut. She has a right to think someone IRL is a slut just how I think the woman at the check out counter where I shopped last night was a b*tch to me. That's for me to define. If she'd walked in here yelling that all OW were sluts I'd think you have a leg to stand on, but she hasn't. I've read your posts and you normally seem very levelheaded, I also noticed you are going through something so maybe you could just consider breathing for a minute and letting this all go. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Grateful.... I do believe we "OW" have each other's backs because we are all experiencing the same shyt from the H. So if Sami is a little pissed, she has the right as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Yeah...so... it must be all her fault, the little SLUT. Nothing to do with what HE told HER about how crap you were in bed, how OVER his marriage was... how he was leaving you... wanted to be with her..? Yeah... read on this forum and tell us... who is the SLUT... (MM?) Your hubby..? What are you 15? I was letting the ORIGINAL poster know how his WIFE is going to feel when she finds out, go get a gripe. & you know what your right my H was a slut I never said he wasn't as a matter of fact I said I BLAMED him mostly. By the way he didn't talk to her about our relationship b/c he was the one CAUSING all our problems with his drinking & staying And yes I do know this to be true. He had/has nothing to complain about I was the one staying home with our daughter & supporting us as a family, while he was out spending his money on drinking & partying.So get on with your own crummy life & I'll get on with mine b/c right now my life is going pretty wonderful. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I am sure to 'get a gripe', at some point. You certainly did. Posting on someone else's thread about your own sorry story isn't really the best thing to do. Go back to your bad experience... get to grips with it and... I hope you work it out. No one deserves what you went through. BUT: There is a fine (?) line between telling your own story for the use of another person and hawking your sorry tale everywhere with the idea that everyone is 'the same'. That we can all be put in these roles 'slut' 'idiot wife'... We're not... we're people. Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Grateful.... I do believe we "OW" have each other's backs because we are all experiencing the same shyt from the H. So if Sami is a little pissed, she has the right as well! Sure she has every right to be pissed, but does she have the right to take it out on Teag using words like "idiot" "pea brain" etc? Just as the woman involved with Teag's husband is not any one of you, Teag is not Sami's MM. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 What are you 15? Well no, I am 43. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sure she has every right to be pissed, but does she have the right to take it out on Teag using words like "idiot" "pea brain" etc? Just as the woman involved with Teag's husband is not any one of you, Teag is not Sami's MM. I am not pissed about MY situation. Far from it. I'm just reticent to let this lot back on OUR forum again. They can GO to hell.. and back to Infidelity. Where they belong. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 So then I can look for you to be kicking out the OW who come in here talking about how the wife of their MM is a b*tch. Well no, this IS the OW forum..? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I remember a few. I remember an OW who wrote about how the b*tch wife was taking all of her husband's money before the divorce. My point was simply that I think you are overreacting. Teag never called anyone in here a slut. She has a right to think someone IRL is a slut just how I think the woman at the check out counter where I shopped last night was a b*tch to me. That's for me to define. If she'd walked in here yelling that all OW were sluts I'd think you have a leg to stand on, but she hasn't. I've read your posts and you normally seem very levelheaded, I also noticed you are going through something so maybe you could just consider breathing for a minute and letting this all go. OMG... back to one person on OW forum who called a W a *biatch*... so now all of us on OW have to sit here and listen to all BSs who call OW similar names.. err.. I don't think so. Yeah, I am going through a bad patch. And I'm here in the OW forum going through it. I don't have to be nice to every BS who comes in here whining about bitches. Do i..? No This is MY place to be. Get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sure she has every right to be pissed, but does she have the right to take it out on Teag using words like "idiot" "pea brain" etc? Just as the woman involved with Teag's husband is not any one of you, Teag is not Sami's MM. Yes, she does... this is the OW forum. Get it? Link to post Share on other sites
Teag Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 There is a fine (?) line between telling your own story for the use of another person and hawking your sorry tale everywhere with the idea that everyone is 'the same'. That we can all be put in these roles 'slut' 'idiot wife'... We're not... we're people. Where on ANY of my post have I said ALL OW are sluts or everyone here is a slut. I was referring to MY OW, & thats exactly what she is & I'll continue to call her that, you can ask ANYONE who knows her. SO..........whatever opinions are like a**holes everyone has one. Link to post Share on other sites
RealityCheck Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Well, I guess your first mistake was referring to the OW as a "slut". Mmmmm....an orange is an orange is an orange that would mean OW is an OW is an OW Judgement is Judgement is Judgement! SHEEEEEEEESH Personally, I guess my experience of being the OW has had some rewards because I got to meet the OW on this Forum who I have alot of admiration and respect, especially considering what the W's H's put us all through! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Ah... say what you like... I am sure it's true... in your own mind... I post on this forum because I try to help OW ... much as they seem to be a bunch of self-destructive women... I do try to help, because I know I've been there before. I don't see that I'm included in their chummy little group... um.. yeah I know I'm not. Wasn't included on any recent rounds of 'us'. I don't care... I am here to chat or whatever. No, Teag, you haven't said all OW are sluts or whatever... but you should know that people who have been in an affair get called all sorts, get blamed for the whole thing... and MM is 'the innocent'... it's bulls***. I don't know where I stand in all this, short of not wanting anyone to be hassled, blamed, or named. I am sure I can be a target for any and all of you, and you know... I couldn't give a s***. So be it. Bleh. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 In light of the fact that Ross posted this same thread on the Infidelity forum (I think he's looking for answers from both sides), I think that Teag's response may have been better received if it was posted there given her view is the W's point of view. So in that sense, I do agree with Sami that this is the OW's forum and these posts are obviously upsetting some who are here in need of support and treats this forum as their 'safe place'. I think that the reservations we have when words like sluts, bitch, whore, etc. are used to identify one OW (even from a personal experience), it makes every OW on this forum feel as we are being attacked. I mean, we don't know that OW and don't know her story. Each one of us may have different levels of contact with the MMs wife, but we are here looking for support. I don't think it does anyone any good to make other feel badly. Um, gals... all this name callin' is kinda stressin' me out... eek! Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Yes, you're right. I don't need to hear about some uptight, money-grabbing biatch Sure she's a nice wife... sure she is... (given as an example... not my pov of anyone... eh?) Link to post Share on other sites
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