Soul Mates

[Butterfly]

Does anyone on this board believe that we all have a true soulmate out there for us? I am curious and would like to know different perspectives on this. How did you know that person was your soulmate?

 

I knew almost the moment I laid eyes on him. It was the feeling that I had known him forever. The total ease and trust I instantly felt around him was incredible. We met under the most bizarre conditions that I am certain it is fate. We talk for hours on end and have so much in common. We finish each others sentences and thoughts. When we are apart, I can "feel" him as if he were a part of me. What a mind blowing experience that I never could have fathomed to be possible.

[Ed]

I don't know who coined the term "soul mate", but it has gained very popular usage. The definition of the term is rather vague, so I refrain from using it.

 

The reason I refrain from using it - most of the time the term is used in the context "my soul mate". To me, this gives the impression there is only one of these people that ever did or ever will exist in the world and you are forever beholden to them with no chance of there ever being another. I don't believe this to be true.

 

The only way I could use the term would be to call someone "a soul mate", meaning one of potentially many people I could connect with in several key ways, someone whose life flows freely, effortlessly and genially with your own. I can understand that kind of definition. I just won't use that term.

 

Fate is a term that carries a negative connotation. Fate, fated, fateful, fatal, fatality or fatalistic all have a connection with death. Maybe you meant destiny. Either way, both have the presumption that there is a force that some people think controls what happens in the future, and which cannot be influenced by people. We all have a limited ability to control when, how or by what method we die, but pretty much everything else is our choice. Who is making your choices for you?

 

If you believe it is your destiny (or fate) to be with this guy, so be it. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy this apparently transcendental relationship. Expect the best to come of it, whether it lasts a few weeks, months, or a lifetime.

[Butterfly]

Thank you for your very insightful message Ed. I agree with you on the term "soul mate" as I also do believe that we each have mulitple soul mates and not just in the form of someone we marry. I have found 4 soulmates that are very close friends of mine whom are both male and female.

 

I chose the term "soul mate" because not many people are familiar with the term "twin soul" which basically is your other half. There is a whole history and explanation behind the twin soul which I won't get into here. It is just a matter of personal beliefs.

 

As for fate, I did mean to use that word. You choose to see it associated with negative connotations but I choose to see it as it is defined: "The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events." It is synonymous with the word destiny.

 

I believe that we can make different choices in our lives but don't have total control on the outcome. Who is to say it wasn't destiny that persuaded us to make a particular choice in order for our fate to be carried out? There have been times where I have made decisions I don't know why I made.

 

For instance, the night I met my twin soul it was my birthday dinner night with my parents and boyfriend. Normally I would spend the rest of the evening with my boyfriend but for reasons I still cannot explain, I was compelled to attend a party an old friend was having. It was totally out of the blue and something I normally would not have gone to considering the circumstances with the evening revolving around my birthday and all. But somehow fate drew me to my twin soul that night.

 

I understand that you probably see it a different way, but these are my beliefs. I just wanted to get into a little more detail so you would know where I was coming from. Thanks again for the good wishes.

 

Take care.

I don't know who coined the term "soul mate", but it has gained very popular usage. The definition of the term is rather vague, so I refrain from using it. The reason I refrain from using it - most of the time the term is used in the context "my soul mate". To me, this gives the impression there is only one of these people that ever did or ever will exist in the world and you are forever beholden to them with no chance of there ever being another. I don't believe this to be true.

 

The only way I could use the term would be to call someone "a soul mate", meaning one of potentially many people I could connect with in several key ways, someone whose life flows freely, effortlessly and genially with your own. I can understand that kind of definition. I just won't use that term. Fate is a term that carries a negative connotation. Fate, fated, fateful, fatal, fatality or fatalistic all have a connection with death. Maybe you meant destiny. Either way, both have the presumption that there is a force that some people think controls what happens in the future, and which cannot be influenced by people. We all have a limited ability to control when, how or by what method we die, but pretty much everything else is our choice. Who is making your choices for you? If you believe it is your destiny (or fate) to be with this guy, so be it. I wish you the best and hope you enjoy this apparently transcendental relationship. Expect the best to come of it, whether it lasts a few weeks, months, or a lifetime.