noclobber Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 This question is mainly for the women. Have you ever felt depressed if a guy whom you only like as a friend is not around you for couple of weeks? One of my female friends says she likes me only as a friend but said that she was depressed after I left on vacation. I know people will miss their friends but I find this a bit odd. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 any suggestions? help? Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 This question is mainly for the women. Have you ever felt depressed if a guy whom you only like as a friend is not around you for couple of weeks? One of my female friends says she likes me only as a friend but said that she was depressed after I left on vacation. I know people will miss their friends but I find this a bit odd. Any thoughts? Well my one of my guy friends left for two weeks and I did get a little depresssed when he was gone. I don't see him in person very often, but we do chat online almost everyday. Which is why I think I was a little depressed because he's someone I sort of depend on? Like we always discuss our drama and overanalyze things together, while my other friends have better things to do with their time. So I don't think it's odd for your friend to feel sad if you guys are very close. If you barely know her then it would be odd. Link to post Share on other sites
Solidus Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Women are a strange lot.I personally could never get depressed if someone i liked only as friend went (perhaps only if i were really close to them) etc etc but women are different,they seem to care much more about friendships etc,so be guarded against reading that much into it. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Only if he was a very close friend that I talk to a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Any thoughts? yes... don't be just "friends" with women Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 It means she's emotionally attached to you as a friend. Doesn't mean she's inlove with you, but she 'needs' you in her life and she does care about you. (Yes I hear Alpha's words, women/men cannot be 'just' friends) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 It means she's emotionally attached to you as a friend. Doesn't mean she's inlove with you, but she 'needs' you in her life and she does care about you. most people have a limited amount of physical energy, emotional energy and time. what's the point in wasting those limited resources on a female friend? try to spend those resources on romance and sex, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 Thanks guys.. She also said that she had a dream about me when I was gone. I don't remember when was the last time I ever dreamt about a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I don't remember when was the last time I ever dreamt about a friend. How would you know NOCLOBBER? Most people don't remember 99% of their dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 5, 2006 Author Share Posted May 5, 2006 How would you know NOCLOBBER? Most people don't remember 99% of their dreams. If my friend can remember her dreams and say that I was there why is it not possible for me to remember my dreams? Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Did she tell you what happened in the dream? I've had lots of dreams about friends and they were always weird crazy dreams. But not really a lot of dreams about people I'm romantically interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 I remember most of my dreams. Some are stupid and funny, some are sexual and some are scary. And yes, I do dream about my friends as well. You may not be one of those types who remember dreams. My husband can't recall many of his, unless I ask him as soon as he wakes up, or he has one in the middle of the night and wakes ME up from his stirring or moving around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Did she tell you what happened in the dream? I've had lots of dreams about friends and they were always weird crazy dreams. But not really a lot of dreams about people I'm romantically interested in. Yeah, she said that we both were in an elevator. I am definitely not trying to interpret the depression and her dreams as she having a romantic interest in me. She already said that she only likes me as a friend. But I do know that she is treating the friendship with me in a very intense way. When I said that I may have to go back to my country she said "you are breaking my heart". And I don't know what to make out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 You're breaking my heart? I guess you're a really important friend to her. That's actually kind of sweet. Though if it were me I might feel a little confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Though if it were me I might feel a little confused. Why would you be confused? I don't know what makes me an important friend for her. I met her on a train and she is hooked on to me ever since. We have known each other for like 7 months now. I am not like a typical friend to whom she comes for emotional support and solutions to her problems. When we meet we just have fun nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 I guess it's because she gets depressed without you, she has dreams about you, and now you're breaking your heart. All of those things seem a bit much for a friend. My close guy friend goes on trips all the time and I might feel down without him, but I wouldn't say that my heart was broken. And I'd get confused because I'd start to read more into things. But I overanalyze everything. Very intense friend you've got there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 I guess it's because she gets depressed without you, she has dreams about you, and now you're breaking your heart. All of those things seem a bit much for a friend. My close guy friend goes on trips all the time and I might feel down without him, but I wouldn't say that my heart was broken. And I'd get confused because I'd start to read more into things. But I overanalyze everything. Very intense friend you've got there. Yup, you are right! I was confused and at one point assumed that she liked me that way and asked her out. She had just come out of a relationship and said she only likes me as a friend. She said she doesn't want a boyfriend now. We are continuing as friends but this is how she talks. And she wants to hangout with me a lot.. She is even urging me to relocate to her city so that we both can hangout more.. Link to post Share on other sites
phyrespryte Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 She is even urging me to relocate to her city so that we both can hangout more.. Ok that's asking way too much from a friend. It's like she wants you to be her boyfriend, but not actually give you any of the benefits of being her boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Ok that's asking way too much from a friend. It's like she wants you to be her boyfriend, but not actually give you any of the benefits of being her boyfriend. You are right. That's why I am getting confused. She refused to date me but still behaves like this. I guess my friendship with her has all the hallmarks of a relationship minus the physical intimacy. Guess what? we meet for lunch or coffee 3 to 4 times every week. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Noclobber, You need to stop re-hashing over this gal. You have asked everybody's opinion and they have told you that she treats you like a pseudo b/f but does not want to date you. You cannot figure out her motives and it must get tiring to try to do so. I would just leave her alone. Tell her you don't want to be just her friend and you need to move on if that is all she wants from you. Anybody can understand this and if she can't then that is more the reason to stay away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Noclobber, You need to stop re-hashing over this gal. You have asked everybody's opinion and they have told you that she treats you like a pseudo b/f but does not want to date you. You cannot figure out her motives and it must get tiring to try to do so. I would just leave her alone. Tell her you don't want to be just her friend and you need to move on if that is all she wants from you. Anybody can understand this and if she can't then that is more the reason to stay away from her. Thanks! I am not planning to seriously date till I settle in my new job. Do you think it would be a good idea to hangout with her till then? Or does it have its cons? Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 noclobber You're looking too much into this. Period. Why are you spending so much of your energy over such a ridiculous comment made by your female friend? She sounds like she's playing with your head. Who knows maybe she's after your money, or your sorrow filled ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author noclobber Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 noclobber You're looking too much into this. Period. Why are you spending so much of your energy over such a ridiculous comment made by your female friend? She sounds like she's playing with your head. Who knows maybe she's after your money, or your sorrow filled ego. Why do you call it as a ridiculous comment? Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 Why do you call it as a ridiculous comment? It's just a comment. Humans tend to blurt out a lot off-the-bat verbal phrases. She's just a friend. Don't ponder too much. Carry on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts