shanequa_420 Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 This one is pretty personal, but I don't know who to talk to about it. My bf wants to have a three way, me, him and another girl. I feel OK with this but at the same time it scares the crap out of me. I do feel that I could make out with another girl in front of him and MAYBE with him, but I don't know if I can handle the whole sex thing. I told him I would do this for him since it is his phantasy. I have tried to fulfill all of his phantasies and this is the only one I haven't done yet. I am really scared of the feeling I will get if it happens. I feel that I may get extremely jelous, or it may hurt me very badly. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go for it or if I should just say forget it. His whole point about the situation is hey you only live once you might as well live it to the fullest. Will somebody give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 You don't seem so sure you want this type of thing. Make very sure this is what you want. Most of the time, not all the time, but this kind of thing usually will or can destroy relationships. Especailly if emotions get involved. Some say it will be just a purely sexual thing, but it doesn't always end up that way. Just make sure you are willing to take this risk in your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 This one is pretty personal, but I don't know who to talk to about it. My bf wants to have a three way, me, him and another girl. I feel OK with this but at the same time it scares the crap out of me. You *don't* really feel okay with this, do you? I do feel that I could make out with another girl in front of him and MAYBE with him, but I don't know if I can handle the whole sex thing. If you are worrying that you could not handle it, it's very likely you would not handle it. I told him I would do this for him since it is his phantasy. Time to take back your word. I have tried to fulfill all of his phantasies and this is the only one I haven't done yet. Something sounds very wrong. Did you enjoy to fullfill his other fantasies? Was it fun? or was it something you basically just did for him? I am really scared of the feeling I will get if it happens. I feel that I may get extremely jelous, or it may hurt me very badly. It will very likely damage your relationship. (something I'd say even if you were not worried about getting jealous). It most likely will hurt you badly. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should go for it or if I should just say forget it. Forget it. His whole point about the situation is hey you only live once you might as well live it to the fullest. Will somebody give me some advice. I am fighting the urge to say "dump the jerk". Your thread sounds *so* wrong. Red flags all around. How long have your bf and you been together? How old are you? How is your relationship? What is it based on? If I were to judge from your post alone, it sounds very unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Ask him if he would be okay if you had a three way with him and one other guy and tell him its your fantasy and then see how fast he backpedles from that one! That being said it doesn't sound like you want to do this at all, and regardless if its something HE wants to do or not, you guys are ain it together right now and frankly you have a say in it (and if he says he will leave you if you don't do it then kick him to the curb cause any man that uses sex to control you is a loser anyway) Tell him that you aren't as comfortable as you thought you were with it and not intrested. If he is a good boyfriend he will say okay and let it go, if not well, there are plenty of fish in that sea of life Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Will somebody give me some advice. its most likely not a good idea, mainly because you know how women love to compete with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Delectable Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 NO N O NO N O Just read your post from last week: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t86996/ You two are not nearly ready for this Link to post Share on other sites
Author shanequa_420 Posted May 8, 2006 Author Share Posted May 8, 2006 Thank you all for your advice. It sounds pretty much that everyone is telling me what I have been thinking and that is that first of all I am not ready for this even if I do decide to do it, and second of all it could hurt me as I have imagined. I wish I could get some advice from people who have actually been in the situation and did or didn't do it. I just want to know how they feel or felt about it. I don't know why I feel so strong about fulfilling his phantasies. I just love him with all my heart and I want to make his life the greatest. I have tried saying well what if I wanted to have a three way with another guy how would you feel. He just makes a joke out of it and teases the crap out of me. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I feel that he is my one and only and that I don't want any other man. I feel that I could do stuff with a girl in front of him and be ok with it I just have a hard time with the fact that he wants to be in the middle of it!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Speaking personally from experience....Things got kind of dicey when my BF asked me to indulge him in this fantasy....Granted I did stir his mind up to begin with, however...thats not the point. It was carried a little too far, and of course my feelings ended up getting hurt that he could actually ask and then expect me to follow through with it. Its the norm to believe that if your BF truly loved you, he would NEVER ask you to do such a thing, regardless if it was a fantasy or no. In a state of pure pissiness, I told him that I wanted to have sex with him and another man. He gave me a look that could of caused me gangrene from the amount of frostbite. He raised his hand at me. He ranted and railed at me and went on and on about respecting him and told me to never ask him such a thing again. I sat my BF down, and told him that although I was the original s*** stirrer with this 2 women, 1 man fantasy, I never expected him to seriously think I would follow through, much less ask me to. I told him that I dont think he loves me ..enough...to have asked me to do it in the first place. I let him know that it sounds good to his ears (a threesome) but he doesnt know what kind of damage it could cause between us. I told him if he really wanted to see it, rent a porn. I offered for us to break up, and when he was finished sowing his wild oats I would be waiting for him. (he is my first love too)...I told him I dont want him to regret never getting to screw 2 women at once because of me, and then to take it out on me forever...or harbor resentment and be restless sexually because of it. He refused to even break up with me, even knowing I would wait for him. What he did tell me was this: "I am glad that you came to me and told me No. This lets me know that you truly are a good woman. I was testing you to see how far you would go. Do you think I would want to marry and have children with a woman that has threesomes? I am happy you told me all of this" Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Thank you all for your advice. It sounds pretty much that everyone is telling me what I have been thinking and that is that first of all I am not ready for this even if I do decide to do it, and second of all it could hurt me as I have imagined. I wish I could get some advice from people who have actually been in the situation and did or didn't do it. I just want to know how they feel or felt about it. I don't know why I feel so strong about fulfilling his phantasies. I just love him with all my heart and I want to make his life the greatest. I have tried saying well what if I wanted to have a three way with another guy how would you feel. He just makes a joke out of it and teases the crap out of me. I don't know what to do or how to feel. I feel that he is my one and only and that I don't want any other man. I feel that I could do stuff with a girl in front of him and be ok with it I just have a hard time with the fact that he wants to be in the middle of it!!!!! I have had more than one threesome, always with 2 girls and one guy. Never with a BF, though. We were all just good friends but the cocaine helped. Anyways, I got bored and left. First off, it's not fun if the other girl has no idea how to please a woman. Then it feels like we're supposed to take turns rubbing ourselves against the guy. Which is all well and good for him but only does so much for me. But in my situations the other girls was more interested in me than she was in the guy. That did help, but after a while it just felt like there were too many cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. Honestly though I would probably do it again with friends, no problemo, I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS do it with a BF. Sex with your BF is supposed to be an intimate celebration of your relationship. An exploration of your closeness. WHen you invite another person into that equation it isn't about you two any more. And the other chick isn't just some mannequin you can pose in whatever position you want, or get her to do whatever you want. She's another person, too. Another person that may elicit sexual feelings -- or wose, emotional feelings -- in either of the people in the couple. So those are all things to consider before trying this out. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 That did help, but after a while it just felt like there were too many cooks in the kitchen, so to speak. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author shanequa_420 Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Hello, well I decided to have a talk with him about it since it bothers me so much. I really appreciate everyones advice. I know I should listen to what is being said because our relationship could be ruined due to the whole situation.This is where I am at in the whole situation. I talked to him and said you know what I am sorry to say but I can not let you have sex with another women. He was ok with it and yes, a little bummed but he kind of understood where I was coming from. He asked if he could do other sexual things and I said I would have to think about it. I told him that I have had an issue with just thinking of him and not thinking of myself and that I am trying to work on that. I looked at him and said yes it may make you extremely happy, but WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!! I said that I am not sure I will feel good and great like he would and that I am scared of what it could do to the relationship. I still don't think he understands but I put that much out there. I do like the idea of saying (as if I am extremely serious with him even though I would never want to do this) I want to have sex with you and another man. The only thing is, is that I told him he is my one and only and I don't want anyone else and it makes me sick to even think of having sex with another man. If I said I wanted sex with another man now he would just laugh and not believe me. I do like the idea of telling him that we could break up for a little while so that he can go get his phantasy out but I still know that if he had sex with anyone else it would kill me because he is the only person I have had sex with and I don't want and other womens germs inside of me if you know what I mean. I really don't know what to do. Help me out and give me more advice!!!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. Link to post Share on other sites
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