NEED HELP!!!!!

[chiu]

In january my husband left me for his another woman just after returning from a wonderful holiday in the sun in Bali. I had no idea it was coming and though i was living my dream life. I was wrong. He is apparently extremely happy now with his new love. I am not. I pray i won't have to wake up and face yet another thinking of him constantly. I hired a PI who follows him everywhere recording his activities and taking photos. He refuses to speak to me as i have cried and begged him to return. My life without him is worth nothing. I don't want my friend, family or career i simply want to stop suffering this pain and obsession, surely suicide is the only answer

[Marzipan75]

WHOA!!! Suicide is not the answer, hold on there!

 

Please read this and then get back to me! You say he left in January, then it has been a good couple of months and I think you really need to consider talking to a counselor or psychologist, someone who can listen to you and help you out here. It is not the end of the world. Yes it's horrible and no it's not fair but you need to begin to let this go.

 

FIrst of all, call of the private investigator. The more you have him followed and find out about his new lifestyle the more you prolongue the pain you are feeling, don't you see that? The reason why you are still feeling so bad is because you keep finding ways to keep him in your life. Stop concentrating on him and what he's not doing with you and begin concentrating on ridding yourself of this fixation you have developed on him. I think that the jilt of everything that's happened to you has really confused you and you have every right to feel that way. He wasn't honest with you and he cheated on you. He took a vow to be faithful to you and broke it, so please think about why you would want him to come back to you?

 

Please, just listen to what you are saying. Re-read your post and think about all that you have done and said. If you do, I think you will agree with me that it sounds like you are confused and in a lot of pain. But the more you persist on trying to talk to him and have him followed then the more the pain will increase. You need to stay away from him and not have any kind of contact with him whatsoever. You need to find a therapist or a counselor or a friend and talk to them about how you are feeling so that you can begin to feel better.

 

Do you have any friends,relatives or anyone that you are close to that might be able to listen to you and what you are going through?

 

Believe me when I tell you that I know how you are feeling. I have been through a similar situation myself and I am doing a lot better now. If you are feeling like you have nothing left to live for then you really need to pick up the phone and call a friend or look in the yellow pages and see if there's a 24-hour counselor that will talk to you. There are people who can listen if you need to talk and this is definitely the time to do it.

 

What you're going through is natural but I am afraid that you have let it go a bit too far. You need to try and forget about him altogether. I know this is not an easy thing, trust me, I know but for your own sake, you need to get some kind of help. Talking to someone else about it will help you release those feelings of hurt,anxiety, hate, etc. and then you will begin to feel a lot better afterwards. Please listen to me when I tell you that there is so much out there waiting for you and it would be a horrible thing if you just let this be the end of you.

 

And trust me, he may be happy now, but I do believe what goes around comes around and I don't think his life is a bed of roses at the moment like you are imagining. I am sure his current new situation has it's complications as well. Nothing comes without a sacrifice. I also believe that things happen for a reason and sooner or later we find out what's in store for us.

 

So how come I am so optimistic? It's not easy, and I'm not like this 24-7, trust me but I do feel a lot better. My ex boyfriend of 8 years cheated on me and then broke up with me right after. He hooked up with some girl he works with, had a one night stand and it turned out that he decided he would rather be with her. I was stunned. I didn't know what hit me and I didn't know that it was another woman until after the break up.

 

I felt like my whole life was over and every morning it was a struggle to get up and not feel nauseated about what he did to me. But I did it. I started out slowly, and then gradually, the pain began to subside. It's only been about four months now but I am doing a lot better. I have my good days and my bad days but generally, I do okay. When he broke up with me, I too wanted him back desperately. I dreamed up plots to try and get back at him, and try to break him and his new girlfriend up, but after about a week or two, I decided that wouldn't be good. Doing that only makes you unhappy. So try to focus on yourself and not on him. This is unhealthy because you are developing an obsession or a fixation on him that could escalate out of control. You don't want to hurt anybody do you? I don't think you want to hurt yourself either and I think you really should talk to somebody before this gets even more out of control.

 

Don't let this get the better of you. Talk to someone, a friend, relative, parent, anybody. Just talk to someone who can get you some help. And if maybe what you're suffering from is some kind of depression then there are drugs and treatments out there that can help a great deal. Don't let yourself suffer over this any longer, go and get some help.

 

Keep me posted on how you're doing. People in here do care about eachother, so please let us know what's going on.

 

Get help.

 

Marz

 

In january my husband left me for his another woman just after returning from a wonderful holiday in the sun in Bali. I had no idea it was coming and though i was living my dream life. I was wrong. He is apparently extremely happy now with his new love. I am not. I pray i won't have to wake up and face yet another thinking of him constantly. I hired a PI who follows him everywhere recording his activities and taking photos. He refuses to speak to me as i have cried and begged him to return. My life without him is worth nothing. I don't want my friend, family or career i simply want to stop suffering this pain and obsession, surely suicide is the only answer