myself

[windy]

I would like to share my story here.

 

I am 26, haven went out with him for 7 yrs. we'd decided to marry next year, everything seems perfect. but half years aog, he told me that he wants to break up. I was totally shocked , it came too sudden and i didn't even come up with cry . my first respond was " why?" and he replied that " i am so tired". he said that he fed up with doing the same things in same time and same place, life has no excitement or passion. He thought that if we've married, his life were finished.

 

ok, but how about me? in the couple of years, i utterly devoted to him. i depended on him and i thought that can't live without him. Unfortunately, i'm soulless but still alive, i know that i have to plan my self. I've resigned my job, moved back to my home, to start my new life. It isn't easy task for a 26 yrs old woman to start from zero. And now, i am fine, at least i think i am

[Marzipan75]

Hi Windy,

 

first of all, let me tell you congratulations. You've done well so far. Like you, I went out with my ex for 8 years and he basically got bored and cheated on me then broke up with me to be with her. So, like you, I said what can I do? The answer is in you. Yes it's very hard to start over but look at yourself, you've already done it! Like you said in your post, you thought you couldn't live without him but evidently, you can! Yes it sucks that you devoted yourself and your time to him and he didn't appreciate you in the end. But, if you think of it this way, your life isn't over and what if you had gotten married and had a child maybe and then he decided he was not happy? What then? I think of it that way.

 

Yes, you may resent him deeply for the way things turned out but at least it happened now and not ten years after you're married with children. Think of it that way. I know it's not easy but it does get better. You've already started to make some big changes in your life, and believe me, your life isn't over. I am the same age as you are and I am not going to let myself feel like my life is over.

 

For you, this is a big time of reflection and trying to see what makes you happy. I know how you are feeling because I have been there. At first you are so used to thinking about making someone else happy you don't know how to make yourself happy. My advice is to try new things and not be afraid. You loved him and if anything, you can at least take that with you wherever you go. Remember, it was his problem, not yours. You loved him and you will be able to love someone again, he's the one who needs to worry about feeling confused and he's the one who has the problem loving people, not you.

 

You may not realize it now but sooner or later you will see that this really had nothing to do with you. I don't know why but sometimes people are strange, something inside of them isn't right and they have to make it right before then can be with someone.

 

You are right, it is not an easy task for a 26 year old woman to start from zero. But once you get used to it a little more, you will begin to see new possibilities. I am not happy every day but I am getting there. I have started going out and making new friends, meeting new people. A new job is excellent because you can meet new people there. So try to relax and just go with the flow for now. Try to let things happen naturally and don't push so hard. You will see, things do get better. Time heals all wounds and I can't seem to say that enough to people in our predicament.

 

It's a silly cliche, but I think you will learn that it is honestly true. Time really does heal you. Just let some time pass and try to relax and have fun. My friends and family are what helped me the most. They helped me to see that life wasn't over and that I had so much to give. If you feel sad, then let yourself feel sad, don't try to suppress your feelings. It's hard at first to be so positive about things but in time you will find that it does get easier.

 

I like to think of it as a new life, now, I look forward to weekends with friends and the possibilities of meeting new guys and doing new things. You will get to this point, trust me, it just takes time.

 

I hope that helps you feel a little bit better. I really do understand exactly what you are going through.

 

Marz

I would like to share my story here. I am 26, haven went out with him for 7 yrs. we'd decided to marry next year, everything seems perfect. but half years aog, he told me that he wants to break up. I was totally shocked , it came too sudden and i didn't even come up with cry . my first respond was " why?" and he replied that " i am so tired". he said that he fed up with doing the same things in same time and same place, life has no excitement or passion. He thought that if we've married, his life were finished. ok, but how about me? in the couple of years, i utterly devoted to him. i depended on him and i thought that can't live without him. Unfortunately, i'm soulless but still alive, i know that i have to plan my self. I've resigned my job, moved back to my home, to start my new life. It isn't easy task for a 26 yrs old woman to start from zero. And now, i am fine, at least i think i am