Tina Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 First of all I would like to know if anyone believes a married man should go to the bar with a bunch of women from his work. And second does anyone know how to find out if husbund has or is cheating? I appreciate any responses. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 First of all I would like to know if anyone believes a married man should go to the bar with a bunch of women from his work. Not without inviting his wife to come along. And second does anyone know how to find out if husbund has or is cheating? I appreciate any responses. Thanks! The only way to know for sure if someone has cheated is if they admit to it. To find out if someone is cheating, you have to catch them in the act. Link to post Share on other sites
darcy071 Posted October 11, 2001 Share Posted October 11, 2001 First of all I would like to know if anyone believes a married man should go to the bar with a bunch of women from his work. And second does anyone know how to find out if husbund has or is cheating? I appreciate any responses. Thanks! If a husband is going to the bar with women from work it opens the door to suspicion,tell him your feelings and make him aware it is making you nervous. A few signs of him cheating are lipstick stains quick panicky showers, lack of interest in sex with you defensive attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
female aries Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 If it is an after work ritual that he is just trying to fit into a new work environment I don't see a huge proble, but I would ask him if you can meet him and his work friends at the bar too. Maybe they are all really ugly. I would be insanly jealous and I would really think something was up if he refuse to let me go too. Link to post Share on other sites
VA_SALSA Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 You know your husband better than all of us (at least I hope). Which means you know what he may be or may not be capable of. I personally do not think its a "big deal" if it does not happen often and he is not out late. Chances are his female co-workers are in committed relationships as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Indecisive Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Not without inviting his wife to come along. The only way to know for sure if someone has cheated is if they admit to it. To find out if someone is cheating, you have to catch them in the act. Hun. I think that you need to ask him why he dosnt invite you to go along and second, I am a firm believer in reverse psychology. Pretend as if you dont care, maybe even go out with a few of your guy friends from work...That'l show em how it feels.... --amber Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Hun. I think that you need to ask him why he dosnt invite you to go along and second, I am a firm believer in reverse psychology. Pretend as if you dont care, maybe even go out with a few of your guy friends from work...That'l show em how it feels.... --amber I'm breastfeeding and pregnant and that is why I cannot go along and that also means that I can't go to the bar with any male friends,besides I don't work. As far as showing him how it feels, he claims he would have no problem with it. I appreciate the help, but because of me not wanting him to go he claims it don't feel the same with me anymore and doesn't know if he loves me as much as he used too. I cry everyday more than once a day. It doesn't help being pregnant for emotions. We have been together for almost 12 years and have 3 kids and 1 on the way and I cannot believe that his love could disminish that quickly. Once again thanks for all the help. Someone out there please wish me luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Thank you for your help. I have told him how I feel and it doesn't matter. He believes that there is nothing wrong with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 If it is an after work ritual that he is just trying to fit into a new work environment I don't see a huge proble, but I would ask him if you can meet him and his work friends at the bar too. Maybe they are all really ugly. I would be insanly jealous and I would really think something was up if he refuse to let me go too. Thank you for your help. I have 3 kids(breastfeeding one of them)and 1 on the way. I can't go to the bar with him. He has been at his job for 3 years and doesn't need to fit in. As far as meeting the women I know most of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 You know your husband better than all of us (at least I hope). Which means you know what he may be or may not be capable of. I personally do not think its a "big deal" if it does not happen often and he is not out late. Chances are his female co-workers are in committed relationships as well. Thank you for your help. The way it's going it seems like it will be often and he is out late everytime. Commited or not, some people just don't care about that anymore now a days. Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 Not without inviting his wife to come along. The only way to know for sure if someone has cheated is if they admit to it. To find out if someone is cheating, you have to catch them in the act. Thank you for your help. It's nice hearing a man actually say 'not without inviting his wife'. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Tigger Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 You poor thing! Your hormones must be wreaking havoc with your emotions something awful. I don't know what to tell you as I've never been in your situation before. Is this a new thing...him going for drinks with his co-workers? Have you been able to have a heart-to-heart with him about how you really feel? It sounds like you are both hurting right now....you because you feel neglected and him because you don't trust him. Sometimes when both people are feeling hurt and resentful it's hard to see the other persons point of view. Maybe you should try having an open, honest talk with each other and if you can't manage it on your own you might want to try a counsellor who can give you some impartial advice. Good luck to you! I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your family. I'm breastfeeding and pregnant and that is why I cannot go along and that also means that I can't go to the bar with any male friends,besides I don't work. As far as showing him how it feels, he claims he would have no problem with it. I appreciate the help, but because of me not wanting him to go he claims it don't feel the same with me anymore and doesn't know if he loves me as much as he used too. I cry everyday more than once a day. It doesn't help being pregnant for emotions. We have been together for almost 12 years and have 3 kids and 1 on the way and I cannot believe that his love could disminish that quickly. Once again thanks for all the help. Someone out there please wish me luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Indecisive Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 I'm breastfeeding and pregnant and that is why I cannot go along and that also means that I can't go to the bar with any male friends,besides I don't work. As far as showing him how it feels, he claims he would have no problem with it. I appreciate the help, but because of me not wanting him to go he claims it don't feel the same with me anymore and doesn't know if he loves me as much as he used too. I cry everyday more than once a day. It doesn't help being pregnant for emotions. We have been together for almost 12 years and have 3 kids and 1 on the way and I cannot believe that his love could disminish that quickly. Once again thanks for all the help. Someone out there please wish me luck!! Okay...Here it is weather you want to hear it or not. I may still quite young,18, but Ive seen a lot of this happen before. I do wish you the best of luck but its not even about that. You need to stand your ground and sit his ass down and have a nice long talk. Tell him you are only upset because you want him to share the birth of your fourth child with you and not always be going out with his office women friends. Just explain to him that its not that your jellous but its that you need all the extra attention right now and they are getting it instead. And then once that baby is born leave him home to babysit and you go out on the town with a few of your girlfriends. Call it a girls night. Im sure you'll be feeling better by the time you step out the door. So my advice to you is to just breathe. Your probley right about the whole emotions thing by being pregnant. So go take a nice hot bubble bath and indulge..... --Amber Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 You poor thing! Your hormones must be wreaking havoc with your emotions something awful. I don't know what to tell you as I've never been in your situation before. Is this a new thing...him going for drinks with his co-workers? Have you been able to have a heart-to-heart with him about how you really feel? It sounds like you are both hurting right now....you because you feel neglected and him because you don't trust him. Sometimes when both people are feeling hurt and resentful it's hard to see the other persons point of view. Maybe you should try having an open, honest talk with each other and if you can't manage it on your own you might want to try a counsellor who can give you some impartial advice. Good luck to you! I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your family. Thanks for the advice. He has gone out with co-workers, but never a large group of women and never as often as he seems he wants to start going. Right now he is trying. We talked some over the weekend. I just don't think my emotions could handle it if he decides it isn't going to work again. I just wish I knew what he is thinkng. Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
Tina Posted October 16, 2001 Share Posted October 16, 2001 Okay...Here it is weather you want to hear it or not. I may still quite young,18, but Ive seen a lot of this happen before. I do wish you the best of luck but its not even about that. You need to stand your ground and sit his ass down and have a nice long talk. Tell him you are only upset because you want him to share the birth of your fourth child with you and not always be going out with his office women friends. Just explain to him that its not that your jellous but its that you need all the extra attention right now and they are getting it instead. And then once that baby is born leave him home to babysit and you go out on the town with a few of your girlfriends. Call it a girls night. Im sure you'll be feeling better by the time you step out the door. So my advice to you is to just breathe. Your probley right about the whole emotions thing by being pregnant. So go take a nice hot bubble bath and indulge..... --Amber Thanks again. As far as after the baby being born and me going out, I'll be breastffeding once again so it will be awhile for that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
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