Just need to talk

[pcakes]

I am a MW for 15 years now, no kids, have a good husband, who does not cheat, works hard, loves me and I love him. We also have neighbors of 5 years now that we have been friends with, watched them get married, we go fishing, camping and just enjoy each others company. We are all good friends.

Well about 3 months ago I was alone with my MMN fishing and we had a great time, laughed, talked about personal things, but nothing sexual. (spouses knew we were together and did not care) This happend two weekends in a row, he is just a blast to talk to and I loved it. After these two weeks he started e-mailing me, at first it was just flirtatous and fun friendly e-mails, but then it turned to more of the sexual nature. Kind of freaked us out what was happening, we have known each other for 5 years and I had never thought of him that way till after fishing. He told me how he has been watching me and fantisizing about me since they moved in. I was clueless. Yet flattered, of course. We have been e-mailing each other daily, had a few long conversations on the phone, been to each others houses alone and share some very long intimate hugs, oh and of course a little phone sex, but that is it.

We weren't sure if this was just lust or something more so had decided that we would just let things go and see how it went without sex. Then come a year or so from now if we still had feelings for each other we would go from there. (of course we will/would not share any of this with the spouses).

Well this weekend we talked and he decided he was feeling too guilty, loves his wife too much and didn't want to hurt all of our friendships. So we said enough is enough, there will be no more e-mailing and secret meetings. I am in agreement with that, because I am by no means willing to risk my relationship for something that i am not sure about either. But I am feeling pretty empty right now. I am not sure if I actually feel more for him than just lust or if it is just because I am missing talking to him. Any thoughts or input would be welcome. Just looking to talk a little, because obviously there is no one else in my life to share this with.

I obviously can not go without seeing him, that would look really suspisous and strange to the others, not to mention I really do enjoy talking to him, we have so much in common.

[PrettyMama247]

I see your dilemma. i think that the reason you feel empty is because you have gotten used to being around him. What i suggest is actually spending more time with your husband. Do things that intreset you bout. For example go fishing alone with your husband and make intimate. Or start doing things your husband enjoys so that you both have more things to talk about. I promise you this will work wonders on your relationship and also strengthen the bond between you and him. After a while you won't miss your neighbor anymore.