Yamaha Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Good Men are hard to find. Probably as hard as one of your good male friends. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Yes, I am tired of being alone. I am more tired of the fact that I can see out my window that he's not home (yet another weekend night) and is probably out with her, or at her place f***ing her. I hate that he moved on so fast. I hate that I don't know for sure if he started something with someone else before he broke it off with me. Was I cheated on? I'm tired of the fact that I'm so lonely for love, but too damn scared to trust another man because of what my exes did to me. All the lies...all the broken promises. I'm tired of having to compete with young, firm, blonde chicks (who drive expensive cars and live in trendy condos) for a decent man. I'm tired of trying to fill my life with other things and friendships that don't bring me the happiness I had when I was in love. I'm tired of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Yes, I am tired of being alone. I am more tired of the fact that I can see out my window that he's not home (yet another weekend night) and is probably out with her, or at her place f***ing her. I hate that he moved on so fast. I hate that I don't know for sure if he started something with someone else before he broke it off with me. Was I cheated on? I'm tired of the fact that I'm so lonely for love, but too damn scared to trust another man because of what my exes did to me. All the lies...all the broken promises. I'm tired of having to compete with young, firm, blonde chicks (who drive expensive cars and live in trendy condos) for a decent man. I'm tired of trying to fill my life with other things and friendships that don't bring me the happiness I had when I was in love. I'm tired of my life. Reading this saddens me...I wish there were someway for you not to be in the vicinity of your ex. The fact that you can see him, his place and know his coming and goings is too much for you to endure on a daily basis. Aside from LS, who do you get to vent to about this?..friends or family. Its tough to find new loves in this state of loneliness. It's a fine line between being cautious and not wanting to be too needy if we ever do meet someone who sparks our interest, only because we so desparately tired of being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Yes, I am tired of being alone. I am more tired of the fact that I can see out my window that he's not home (yet another weekend night) and is probably out with her, or at her place f***ing her. I hate that he moved on so fast. I hate that I don't know for sure if he started something with someone else before he broke it off with me. Was I cheated on? I'm tired of the fact that I'm so lonely for love, but too damn scared to trust another man because of what my exes did to me. All the lies...all the broken promises. I'm tired of having to compete with young, firm, blonde chicks (who drive expensive cars and live in trendy condos) for a decent man. I'm tired of trying to fill my life with other things and friendships that don't bring me the happiness I had when I was in love. I'm tired of my life. Wow, when I read this it captured actually exactly how I am feeling right now...unfortunatley I am in a bad mood again..Friday night and I am alone.. I saw my ex driving by me for the third time this week. Each time he has been alone, then tonight he was with his friend. It hurts, I don't want to see him. It sucks so bad that we are in the same neighborhood. I am tired of being reminded everytime that I see him or everytime I drive by his apartment complex that he has chosen someone else over me. We lived together, and it didn't work...Why does it work for them? I am sick of asking myself these questions. I am sorry you feel the same way...I agree with Insync, I hope you have friends/family that are close to you that you can talk to about this. -2020 Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Wow, when I read this it captured actually exactly how I am feeling right now...unfortunatley I am in a bad mood again..Friday night and I am alone.. I saw my ex driving by me for the third time this week. Each time he has been alone, then tonight he was with his friend. It hurts, I don't want to see him. It sucks so bad that we are in the same neighborhood. I am tired of being reminded everytime that I see him or everytime I drive by his apartment complex that he has chosen someone else over me. We lived together, and it didn't work...Why does it work for them? I am sick of asking myself these questions. I am sorry you feel the same way...I agree with Insync, I hope you have friends/family that are close to you that you can talk to about this. -2020 I actually don't have that many frneds to talk about this with, just one. But I am going to try to view my situation with a new outlook. The fact I have accept is: IT'S OVER. That's the start. Getting my head out of denial. The next goal is to accept that my lamenting which is a big part of my denial is not going to change my alone status one single bit. I need to NOT constantly remind myself that I am alone. By thinking that I'm putting the negative spin on it. That's what got me into my needy state with the x, come to think of it. That's why I put up with his disrespect. I know that I am alone but it's not a death sentence. And another bit of honesty here...when I was with the X, it wasn't all that perfect. So I don't want to just be with anyone ever again just to be unalone. Therefore, it's going to take time to find that special someone. Jumping in something to alleviate being alone can lead to more trouble and heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm tired of trying to fill my life with other things and friendships that don't bring me the happiness I had when I was in love. This part of Jen's post is exactly how I feel about the one friend that I can talk to about my ex. But I guess I just need to change my mindset about that. Its not very realistic to think that friendships and material items can even compare to being in love. And another bit of honesty here...when I was with the X, it wasn't all that perfect Thats the hardest thing to have to keep remembering. My relationship towards the end was a lot less than perfect and its easy to idealize it and remember only bits and pieces (the good bits and pieces!) I too think I put up with my ex's crap that he dished out because I did not want to be alone. I totally agree with you and the amount of time that it takes to find someone special is the frustrating part! Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm tired of trying to fill my life with other things and friendships that don't bring me the happiness I had when I was in love. I'm tired of my life. Amen. I love my friends, but they are no replacement, or even much of a bandage, for him. And in a few months time 3 more of them are moving away, and I'll mostly be alone. I hate being alone and my family is not near. Honestly, I don't know what I'll end up doing... Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 This part of Jen's post is exactly how I feel about the one friend that I can talk to about my ex. But I guess I just need to change my mindset about that. Its not very realistic to think that friendships and material items can even compare to being in love. Thats the hardest thing to have to keep remembering. My relationship towards the end was a lot less than perfect and its easy to idealize it and remember only bits and pieces (the good bits and pieces!) I too think I put up with my ex's crap that he dished out because I did not want to be alone. I totally agree with you and the amount of time that it takes to find someone special is the frustrating part! Forgive me for bringing this to a spiritual level, because I respect that spirituality is a personal thing but I'm just putting it out here the concept: Maybe there's a lesson in all this 'discomfort of being alone.' Perhaps this a turning point for each of to look deep within ourselves and finding something beyond the comfort of a partner/lover/ friend /or family...to find that inner peace. Sometimes we stayed in these unhealthy relationships because it was easier to stay in them than to look deep within and find comfort in ourselves via higher source of energy. Spirituality. Not connecting to something other than a relationship is where we are lead astray, because ALL relationships are bounds to fail us or leave us unfulfilled because we are dealing wih humans, individuals with their own personal needs and wants, that eventually conflict with our needs. Everyone does look after themselves. This is not a fault but a reality. So perhaps in the bigger picture of life, these relationships and our discomforts might suggest to look within ourselves and seek inner peace and at the same time to look at how we use relationships to hide our discomfort. If we were really happy within ourselves, would we really stay with a person who disrespects us, whose character is less than admirable...who has no problem betraying us or intentionally being insensitive? Isn't it sort of being alone being with someone who is not loving nor caring? Link to post Share on other sites
basscatcher Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I woke this morning lonely. Wishing I had a cuddly, warm body next to me. There has been one man in particular that has been engrained in me. We are not together. he won't let his wall down enough for us to be together so I move on. Each man that has came into my life in the past year has been only a distraction for a short time then when they are gone this man is standing there---behind the wall of distraction.. Why won't the desire for him go away? The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he helps me be a better person -----he is like the ghost that is always lurking and strikes me when I am alone. I'm a religous person and I pray all the time. I offer all my prayers, works, joys and sufferings each day and ask for healing, help, forgiveness and guidance each day. Yet I am still baron.. I chose to not have a man in my life at this time. I fear becoming cold and more untrustworthy of men being like this. Never in my life have I desired my space from men. Although, I want one to hold, touch, care for and visa a versa I want my space.. I feel a large divergance building in me and I concerns me. I don't know if what I am feeling is healthy and normal or If I am sidetracking myself from healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Forgive me for bringing this to a spiritual level, because I respect that spirituality is a personal thing but I'm just putting it out here the concept: Maybe there's a lesson in all this 'discomfort of being alone.' Perhaps this a turning point for each of to look deep within ourselves and finding something beyond the comfort of a partner/lover/ friend /or family...to find that inner peace. Sometimes we stayed in these unhealthy relationships because it was easier to stay in them than to look deep within and find comfort in ourselves via higher source of energy. Spirituality. Not connecting to something other than a relationship is where we are lead astray, because ALL relationships are bounds to fail us or leave us unfulfilled because we are dealing wih humans, individuals with their own personal needs and wants, that eventually conflict with our needs. Everyone does look after themselves. This is not a fault but a reality. So perhaps in the bigger picture of life, these relationships and our discomforts might suggest to look within ourselves and seek inner peace and at the same time to look at how we use relationships to hide our discomfort. If we were really happy within ourselves, would we really stay with a person who disrespects us, whose character is less than admirable...who has no problem betraying us or intentionally being insensitive? Isn't it sort of being alone being with someone who is not loving nor caring? No, I believe that if you are really happy with yourself you have confidence and it does not allow you to put up with as much crap as I did. That is something that I have learned from this breakup. I may not be extremley happy right now, but I am a different person for the better. And just thinking about how much I have changed actually brings me joy. Yes, being with someone that treats you badly is worse than being alone. It has the same empty feeling associated with it, yet you know you are subjecting yourself to it so you feel even worse. For me, At least I know that when am alone, I am not with someone who treats me poorly and constantly worried that I am getting "screwed over". I am just alone, big deal...If I can get through being treated like I was, I can handle making myself happy from here on out. BTW, good post. Link to post Share on other sites
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