Is my Boyfriend on drugs?

[Jinxed]

Welp here goes.... I found this great guy whom I've been together with since December 05. He's 23 i'm 18. He's done more than I have patially due to the fact that his parents were very lenient and mine were very strict, and he's lived in all 50 states. Now his family is great, always helpful and kind. But they have their quirks. The whole family drinks together.... they allow their 15, 17 and 18 year old kids to drink with them. They even bought their daughters beer for christmas. I s*** you not. They're nice people, they just have nothing against most drugs and alcohol. They are also a very very close family who's lived together all over the US for their entire lives.

 

Now my boyfriend used to call me every day and we'd go do things and have a lot of fun doing them, even if all we had to do was go for a walk, we still ended up having an absolute blast. I had been wanting to move out for a while so after 2 months we both got an apartment together. It worked out really good for the first 2-3 weeks. We had some little arguments but I expected that seeing as how we were j ust adjusting to each other. Well then he told me he was going to quit his job and start working Construction like he usually dose during the summer. So what he did was cut back to about 10 hours a week at his job... and he kept "waiting" for a call back from the guy who supposidly had work for him. Well..... 1 week, 2 week, 3 weeks later... and he still isn't working construction! I have been paying for all the food and neccessities, plus cleaning the house and doing all the dishes. He has fortunatly managed to come up with rent money every month.... but the thing is.... to make a long story short here's the deal...

 

#1 When we started going out things were great and we could have fun doing anything. * Now he has NO money to do anything. And even when we go for a walk it's just boring. It's like he's somewhere else or thinking about someone/something else.

 

#2 He told me right before we moved in together he had $4000 in the bank.

* All of the sudden when we moved in together he was flat broke. He helped pay for his mom's car he says. Because he always does things for his family but I don't know where all that "money" went. Or if he ever had it to begin with.

 

#3 He was always so gentle and a big love. He's 6'3 pounds and 220 and I'm 5'3 115pounds . A couple of times he's flipped out on me, and he's become more controlling. He'll hold me down and kiss me places which doesn't bother me at all until I SCREAM "STOP" and he doesn't listen. He just keeps doing it and I'll beg him to stop and he won't. Then when I'm exhausted he stops and I'm mad... then he goes "You're mad...?" and I say "Yes I am, I asked you to stop and I meant it..." then he ignores me for the remainder of the day and says he's ignoring me because I thought I wanted to be left alone. I said "No I just want you to stop when I ask." He's done this several times.

 

#4. He flipped out on me twice. One time he came home he and was putting his arms around me and then started tickling me and I went to the ground laughing then he laid on me and I pushed him a little cuz I couldn't breath and he kept laying on me kissing me practically trying to swallow my lips and nose an I told him to "f***ING STOP" then he started laughing hystarically and took me by the leg and walked around in cricles... I screamed "STOP! I'm getting a rugburn" and he just kept doing it while laughing. Then I got up, rug burned and upset and he was completely unaffected. Thinking about that pisses me off so bad. I f***ing hate it.

 

#5 he used to cuddle with me a lot. But now he has to start trying to have sex whenever we're close. And I love sex....but not every f***ing time we're close.

 

#6. Now he's hardly working and I had to push him out the door to go look for a job yesterday.

 

#7 he's lazy and sleeps about 12 hours a night then a couple hours during the day. And he always told me he was active and barely ever slept. Bulls***.

 

#8 he takes showers like twice a day, long ones

 

#9 He doesn't hardly clean the house at all, which is typical for a guy but he always told me he was a neat freak.

 

#10 this is the big deal breaker. For the past 2-3 weeks he's spent NO time with me all he does is sleep with me, and sometimes he doesn't even sleep with me, he's slept on the couch a couple times. When he's gone he says he's with his parents, and a lot of times he'll call me from their house.... but honestly I don't know. He could even be doing drugs over there.

 

And recently I talked to my favorite manager where I work, and where my boyfriend works also.... and she said she knows for sure he's been on drugs at least twice since he started working there 6 months ago. She used to be a drug addict and she's one of those people who wouldn't just say something like that. Other people at work have noticed it too.

 

He "used" to do drugs and claimed he quit about 9 months ago..... he's just changed so much. There's still good things about him but he's gone nuts.... and I need to figure out what the problem is so I can deal with it, one way or the other. Becaused I have not been nor will I put up with any more bulls***.

 

Other little things I've noticed is his eyes seeming red and him looking tired.

 

We've talked about everything but drugs. He flat out said "I'm not doing drugs" when I didn't even ask him once... so that made me wonder. We've talked a lot.... I'd just like to know more before I come out and ask him if he is doing drugs.

 

Thanks for all your time....

 

J

[Ladywithafan]

what drugs did he do before?

 

the not working thing...well, read my posts on crack abuse and you'll get the idea....

 

You moved in too soon....you need to get to know the person before you live together...and, although I live w/my boyfriend of six years...been divorced since 2000 and was married for 15 years...I would say to anyone betwen 18 and 30....DO NOT LIVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND EVER!!!!!

 

Keep your own space!

 

Just my opinion...

[suga]

Yes he is doing drugs...OMG...what a little boy...and intentionally I might add...you know what I think...I think he is using you...and that dragging you around the floor is very disrespectfull...screw him...I would rob his ass...and leave without a word...then he will go around saying how bad you are to all his friends...but he will secretly respect you for it cause its the only language he speaks...f*** him...just my opinion.