help me...please!?

[Uniquebunny]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months (i am 16 by the way) because 1. I want to have more time for my studies and 2. I want to be young, have fun, and casualy date people (no serious relationships). I have been in serious relationships non-stop since I was 11 and I don't want that anymore.

 

The problem:

 

I am afraid of being alone and I hate hurting his feelings. He is very emotional, and when I left him he was crying and asking "Why" we couldn't be together. He doesn't understand. I can't stop crying for him, because I have hurt him. But I don't want to be with him. I don't know!!! Love is such a tricky thing!

 

Right now I want to drive over to his house and tell him that i am sorry and that I was wrong and that I do want him- because I am scared to be without him. I am afraid I would miss our nightly phone-calls and stuff of that nature.

 

But I know in a few days I am just going to want to break up with him again...What am I going to do???

[yes]

Don't worry! Just keep yourself busy. You'll be fine within a month, i promise u! The first week is always quite unpleasant, but it sounds like u know what u'r doing & u'r breaking up for all the right reasons.

 

Just give yourself some time to heal & then go have fun!

 

PS Try to not have any contact with him. It helps you heal faster.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months (i am 16 by the way) because 1. I want to have more time for my studies and 2. I want to be young, have fun, and casualy date people (no serious relationships). I have been in serious relationships non-stop since I was 11 and I don't want that anymore. The problem: I am afraid of being alone and I hate hurting his feelings. He is very emotional, and when I left him he was crying and asking "Why" we couldn't be together. He doesn't understand. I can't stop crying for him, because I have hurt him. But I don't want to be with him. I don't know!!! Love is such a tricky thing! Right now I want to drive over to his house and tell him that i am sorry and that I was wrong and that I do want him- because I am scared to be without him. I am afraid I would miss our nightly phone-calls and stuff of that nature. But I know in a few days I am just going to want to break up with him again...What am I going to do???

[Scarlett O]

Keeping yourself busy is a good idea, but there is no need to avoid the situation entirely. Once the initial sting of it wears off there is nothing stopping you two from being friends. Being friends might be easier for you if you want more freedom also. Avoiding complete contact with him might be awkward if you go to school together or if you see each other later. It could cause more tension, anger and more hurt for both of you. If you still want to be his friend let him know that. Help him understand why you want to break it off, don't expect him to just understand how you feel. Explain to him where he will stand in your life.And if he doesn't understand that then it's too bad for him. If you don't want to associate with him anymore and don't want to be his friend then just let it be.

 

As for the lonely part... try to hang out more with your friends. Do what you wanted to do and have fun. Sure it'll be sad because you were with him for such a long time and it'll be hard to not be around him, but take the time to refresh yourself. Get to know yourself better and focus on what is important to you.

 

I'm sure you've heard this a lot but you'll have tons of time for dating and relationships and arguments between your lover. You shouldn't have to start all that at a young age. Try to make the most out of it, you'll still have all the good memories.

 

How can you miss what you haven't experienced yet?

 

Scarlett O

[Marzipan75]

Hi,

 

I am sorry you are hurting. I think that you should take a few days to think about this before contacting/seeing him again. If you are certain that you will only want to break up with him again then don't go see him. Maybe you two can talk in a few weeks, I don't know but right now I think that if you are unsure about how you feel then it's best not to confuse him further. Take it from me, I've been on the other end of the break-up stick and it will only cause him more confusion and hurt if you go back and then decide you still feel the same way!It will do more damage than the initial break up because he will have to experience the hurt, devastation and anguish all over again.

 

My advice, let sleeping dogs lie. Think about what you want to do and then if you think you want to go back to him, then contact him. Otherwise, you need to leave him alone and give yourself time.

 

I hope that helps. It's just an opinion.

 

Marz

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months (i am 16 by the way) because 1. I want to have more time for my studies and 2. I want to be young, have fun, and casualy date people (no serious relationships). I have been in serious relationships non-stop since I was 11 and I don't want that anymore. The problem: I am afraid of being alone and I hate hurting his feelings. He is very emotional, and when I left him he was crying and asking "Why" we couldn't be together. He doesn't understand. I can't stop crying for him, because I have hurt him. But I don't want to be with him. I don't know!!! Love is such a tricky thing! Right now I want to drive over to his house and tell him that i am sorry and that I was wrong and that I do want him- because I am scared to be without him. I am afraid I would miss our nightly phone-calls and stuff of that nature. But I know in a few days I am just going to want to break up with him again...What am I going to do???

[darcy071]

It is going to be hard for both of you for the next while, but you must go with your feeling. The fear of being alone is a normal feeling it take a bit of time but you will feel comfortable with it. In regards to your boyfriend yes he will go through emotional pain but you must try and make a clean break and as little [if any] of each other so you will both have the chance to get through the healing process. I feel for you both and all the best.

[Tigger]

Reading this was like reading my own diary (quite a few years ago )

 

I went through the same thing in school. Wanting your freedom but feeling just awful about hurting his feelings. Trust me when I say 'give yourself some time'. I'll bet you felt a bit of relief when you finally broke up with him right? You'll feel tons better once he's had a bit of time to deal with his feelings and you see that he's okay. Really! You did the right thing.

 

It's never a good idea to stay with someone just because you don't want to hurt them. It's not fair to either of you.

 

Hope things go okay for you both.

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months (i am 16 by the way) because 1. I want to have more time for my studies and 2. I want to be young, have fun, and casualy date people (no serious relationships). I have been in serious relationships non-stop since I was 11 and I don't want that anymore. The problem: I am afraid of being alone and I hate hurting his feelings. He is very emotional, and when I left him he was crying and asking "Why" we couldn't be together. He doesn't understand. I can't stop crying for him, because I have hurt him. But I don't want to be with him. I don't know!!! Love is such a tricky thing! Right now I want to drive over to his house and tell him that i am sorry and that I was wrong and that I do want him- because I am scared to be without him. I am afraid I would miss our nightly phone-calls and stuff of that nature. But I know in a few days I am just going to want to break up with him again...What am I going to do???

[Cess]

Set yourselves free. You are only going to hurt him more if you keep stringing him along. You are only 16, live life. Not to be rude, but you don't even know what being lonely is. Trust me. Do more things with friends to help your lonliness. He will get over you and you will get over him. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be strung along? Be 16, things only get tougher. Good luck!

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 4 months (i am 16 by the way) because 1. I want to have more time for my studies and 2. I want to be young, have fun, and casualy date people (no serious relationships). I have been in serious relationships non-stop since I was 11 and I don't want that anymore. The problem: I am afraid of being alone and I hate hurting his feelings. He is very emotional, and when I left him he was crying and asking "Why" we couldn't be together. He doesn't understand. I can't stop crying for him, because I have hurt him. But I don't want to be with him. I don't know!!! Love is such a tricky thing! Right now I want to drive over to his house and tell him that i am sorry and that I was wrong and that I do want him- because I am scared to be without him. I am afraid I would miss our nightly phone-calls and stuff of that nature. But I know in a few days I am just going to want to break up with him again...What am I going to do???