is it true? anything?

[yes]

there's a stereoptype (or is it?) that women have a much greater need to belong to someone (ie a man, or just a partner), to be attached, than men do. are men really more freedom-oriented? do women see sexual relations as a solution to loneliness? what kind of relationships do men see as a solution to loneliness?

 

...

[Tony T]

There is no research to indicate that women have a greater need to be partnered than men...except to the extent that they have a more clearly defined biological clock than men do so the window for finding someone for instinctive biological reproduction is far smaller.

 

From an evolutionary perspective, men not too many generations ago had the primary goal of spreading their seed throughout the land and moving on. Modern society has more properly ordered the mating ritual for legal and family structure purposes. Left to their own devises, without societal and other pressures, many men would continue this type of behavior...and lots actually do.

 

The only solution to loneliness is to be your own best friend and companion. If you can achieve that, the world will come knocking at your door and you will never be alone.

 

I don't think most women see sex as a cure for loneliness...but most maintain it sure does a hell of a lot to relieve horniness.

 

Women depend more on emotional intimacy to calm feelings of being alone.

 

Neediness is not attractive. People want to be with those who appear to be complete and happy with themselves.

[yes]

Okay - thanks, that all makes sense... here's my real question ... :

 

i find myself talking to people i know in my head when i am alone ... yes, i used to discuss almost _everything_ with my ex - bad bad habit, i know... (broke up 2 months ago) (just in case that's relevant)...

 

now i find that whatever i do, in my head, i'm telling somebody i know about it ... it's like i am never alone in my head ... any idea what i mean?

 

obviously i sometimes simply think - but when my mind is in idle mode, it starts imagining telling people about this n that ... (eg. if i'm playing soccer, after that, while cooling down, i'll be talking to my friend who also likes soccer in my mind)...

 

weird? matter of habit?

 

how do i get rid of it?

 

i feel dependent on those ppl or smth, even though those conversations are only imaginary... but when the real person is with me & they don't act as the imagined character of them, it's unpleasant (silly, yet it is)...

 

is it generally nuts to be "day-dreaming" (by this i mean imagining scnearios involving existing people) a lot?

 

btw, normally it doesn't interfere w/ my social life - once i'm with people, i "switch" to their real characters & it's all good (except for occasional self-consciousness - any idea how to avoid that btw?) ... i'm considered popular - no probs in that dept ...

 

Comments??

 

Thanks ...

There is no research to indicate that women have a greater need to be partnered than men...except to the extent that they have a more clearly defined biological clock than men do so the window for finding someone for instinctive biological reproduction is far smaller. From an evolutionary perspective, men not too many generations ago had the primary goal of spreading their seed throughout the land and moving on. Modern society has more properly ordered the mating ritual for legal and family structure purposes. Left to their own devises, without societal and other pressures, many men would continue this type of behavior...and lots actually do. The only solution to loneliness is to be your own best friend and companion. If you can achieve that, the world will come knocking at your door and you will never be alone. I don't think most women see sex as a cure for loneliness...but most maintain it sure does a hell of a lot to relieve horniness. Women depend more on emotional intimacy to calm feelings of being alone. Neediness is not attractive. People want to be with those who appear to be complete and happy with themselves.

[Tony T]

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking to people in your head.

 

As a matter of fact, there are many things you can tell people in your head that would be socially and morally unacceptable if you told them to their face.

[MercyRose]

read a book called personality types by Don Richard Riso.

 

You sound like a no4 like me. They do this alot, its an escape and well, and its more interesting than life )

 

As long as you don't do this at the expense of your social life and become unproductive its fine-intense even )

 

People like us should have a career that utilizes our creativty )) so if you haven't so far, explore it now, or start a new hobby )

[yes]

heh heh! So you're type 4 too?

 

What is your "creative career", if it's not top-secret?

 

I'll check out that bookm btw. Thanks!

read a book called personality types by Don Richard Riso. You sound like a no4 like me. They do this alot, its an escape and well, and its more interesting than life ) As long as you don't do this at the expense of your social life and become unproductive its fine-intense even ) People like us should have a career that utilizes our creativty )) so if you haven't so far, explore it now, or start a new hobby )

 

[STARBUCK]

women don't see sexual relations as a solution to loneliness. they see knitting and cross-stitch and baking chocolate chip cookies as a solution. men on the other hand, they deal with loneliness by having secret teddy bear collections, buying blow up dolls and having imaginary friends. every drive down the street, get to a red light and look over to see a guy talking to himself in the car beside you? he's talking to his imaginary friend. happens all the time.

there's a stereoptype (or is it?) that women have a much greater need to belong to someone (ie a man, or just a partner), to be attached, than men do. are men really more freedom-oriented? do women see sexual relations as a solution to loneliness? what kind of relationships do men see as a solution to loneliness? ...