i ruined it

[Twink]

I got a few strange texts from my ex. I texted him back saying what are you talking about. No response from him. Then I texted him and said don't text me if you can't explain why. Then he texted me and said sorry texted the wrong person. I have been trying no contact with him since last thursday have not mentioned our relationship at all. Until today, I went off on him about how he never cared, how he just left without a warning, how I have pour my heart out over and over again to get tossed aside. I told him I love him I want him, but I need to forget about him. How he played me lied to me never have I been so played in my life. I mean I said alot of stuff, going from you never care to saying I love you and tried my hardest to make things right for us.

 

Now I have completely ruined my chance to getting back together with him.

 

I don't know what I was thinking, I even told him I am stupid for telling him my feelings and I hate this, I can't just fall out of love like he does.

 

It will be one month on the 16th since he walked out of my life. We have had really strange contact off and on, since then, from him being drunk and telling me all kinds of things and the next day telling me it was a mistake and to move on.

 

I love this man so much, I am trying so hard to do no contact so I can heal and give him the space he needs.

 

But I find myself texting him about the relationship. And today, I think I have ruined that chance of every getting back together. I think I have pushed him so far, becuase of the contact.

 

How do you guys do it, how do you stop wanting to run to them, hold them and never let them go.

 

I am sick about this! I can't believe I sent all those text messages. I know he will not respond at all to me.

 

Know I have to start all over, I have opened the wound again.

[chocolate_boy]

Having been in this situation myself in the past I know how frustrated you feel, and now feel even worse after the texts. However it is not the end of the world, you have only been broken up a few weeks, and 1 week of NC is not really NC its just not talking for a few days.

 

You can redeem your self-esteem and restore your pride, you just need to start NC properly now, in time you will heal and in his memory, this will be forgotten and the good times will be probably all he remembers.

 

Weather or not you'll ever get him back is another matter, but at the moment your best chance for it is to back WAY off and give him breathing space, if he loves you, he'll be back, one day.

 

Take care xx

[dr strangelove]

Listen honey,

 

The thing that you and other women always fail to realize is that as a woman you can get away with so much stuff that us males cant.

 

I tried to break up with my ex on many occasions and she wouldnt let me. She called, emailed, dropped by, etc etc etc..

 

As a man I can do absolutely nothing of that sort, I can only sit and wait I guess.. in any case whatever.

 

No contact is not some special spell, I think half of the idea is sometimes you just need some space. You tell the person you want to break up to get it, or thats how you feel at the moment because people tend to make decisions like that in the heat of the moment.

 

I dont exactly feel sorry for you ms.newbie of no contact. Ive been dong this for months now..MONTHS. I have been broken up with my ex for a year and half. I always think I will never hear from her again and I do in the end.

 

Try one day, then try a few. After that you are almost at a week. Soon a week wont be much effort at all.

Some of the ways you can keep your mind off him is working more, getting a hobby, dating someone else, going away somewhere etc..

 

I do feel sorry for the way you feel though, it makes me think that my ex might have thought those same words... well whatever back to work I guess to drown out those pesky feelings..

[Guitar Wizard]

I think you should just think about all the good and bad things that come out of this relationship, and then ask yourself if you really want to be with him. If not, stop talking to him at all.

 

And if you do... try to get him to meet you. Say you just want to talk, and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. And hopefully, you can find some middle ground and thats a start, at the very least.

 

Good luck.

[Twink]

I have tried to talk to him, I have pour my heart out about our relationship to him. He tells me he is scared, and where would we be if we did get back together. He told me after the conversation, that he would think about it and come over to my house or he wouldn't. Well he never came over. He told me he is scared, that things would just continue the way they were going, he was only thinking about the things that have gone wrong. I tried to tell him about the good times in our relationship, asked him to tell me one things good about our relationship. He then continued to tell me I did not hold him enough at night, we went to bed with our back turned to many times, and I have become defensive. I told him I am willing to listen and do my best to make things work out for us. He just told me he is scared, and he is not happy so how can he make me happy, and he has it in his mind it is not going to work out between us. I thought if you truly love someone, then you take them for there faults too! I mean this guy is not perfect at all, but I love him for all of him. I don't think I have been the best gf, I have had my moments, asked for forgiveness and to try to make our relationship stronger. He tells me he has plans for the future and wanted me to be a part of that, he tells me he doesn't need me he wants me. And he always ends the converstation with I love you, or I love you but I don't think this is going to work. He left me while I was gone from my home. I came home and all of his stuff was gone. He could not look me in the eyes when I tried to talk to him. I wrote a list of everything I love about him and our relationship. He was not really reseptive to hearing me out. I don't really understand what went wrong in the relationship, I know the honeymoon stage was fading and I was sick for a month straight and having problems at work. I was having a lot of aniexty, and was coming home with alot of stress on my shoulders. NO I was not giving him the attention he needed, I was not listening to a lot of what he was saying. I was becoming defensive about myself and my life.

 

I think that was a huge problem and I am willing to say ok, your right, I see that. And I love you enough to make changes and work on things to were you are not scared to be in the relationship. I don't know if I am making since posting this.

 

I just need to let it go!

 

I have a few of his things, I have texted him asking what he wants me to do with them. I don't think he will respond to me at all.

[GB111]

My advice is to go NC. Men LOVE to be pined over. As long as you continue to feed his ego, he will never miss you because he knows you're still there.

 

Whatever you might have done right or wrong, successful relationships are a marathon, not a sprint. A mature person will recognize this and stick with you through the difficult times. Trust me, life has a lot more to deal you than a difficult course at college.

 

Last bit of advice I have is that people fall for people who are clearly comfortable with themselves. Needy people are not attractive. Take some time to build your obviously beaten-down self-confidence. When you see him again, it will be obvious, and definitely more attractive. You do not NEED him, but you WANT him.

 

Wish you the best of luck. I know your pain and am trying to impart a bit of the knowledge I've picked up through my own trials. You're not too far gone to make amends, so I wouldn't push much harder until I got my emotions and self-esteem under control. I pushed too hard and have probably lost my ex forever. Trust me, he knows you love him. He doesn't need to hear it any more. He left you, and he is the only one who can decide whether he wants to come back. You will not help him make that decision.

 

Best,

 

GB

[been7077]

GB is right. A successful relationship is a marathon. I am currently being sized up by my ex of two years. We had really long-term relationship and she dumped me for another guy, then dumped the new model. Long story short I felt all the pain you did and maybe more because of the length of time we spent together. I rebuilt my life and now she wants back in in a big way, and I'm feeling all types of resentment and frustration and even anger. Your guy will either decide that he wants you back or he won't, but you have to decide if he is worth the consideration. Same as me. Good luck and keep B-U-S-Y.